Beyond Grindr & Kindr: 9 Online Dating Tips for Gay Men

Going on a blind date?

Straight or gay – dating can be daunting and draining. It’s even more so when you take it online, where you meet more creeps than decent people.

There’ are lots of issues surrounding online dating in general, whether it’s dating apps, dating sites for gay guys, and such, but no one can deny that many have had successes this field. Some even find the love of their lives from the other side of the world through online dating when they wouldn’t have had a chance to meet otherwise.

Stories like these keep everyone hopeful and trying, but you don’t have to go in blind. Read these gay dating tips to increase your chances of getting a better date.

1. Write a Compelling and Honest Profile

Online dating can be messy, but you can prevent a lot of wasted effort by creating an appealing profile. Think of it as an opportunity to advertise and market yourself to the audience. You want people to buy the product (you), but you also want to target the right audience.

Try to relay who you are as a person in a few sentences, and be sure to include your expectations. Be upfront about what you’re looking for in the dating website or app. Is it an uncomplicated sexual encounter or a long-term relationship?

Avoid using negatives; mentioning too many dislikes instead of “likes” can put members off and paint you as a negative person.

2. Be Careful in Choosing Photos

Showing what you have is a part of “marketing,” but you don’t have to show everything you’ve got. In the same way that movies don’t put the climax and plot twists in teasers on the Blu-ray covers, keep your most interesting features for the right man/men to discover.

A good rule of thumb is that if you’re not walking around showing something in public, don’t show it in your profile pictures. So, what pictures are good to post then?

Post the ones where you look comfortable and dressed well. Don’t hesitate to show that killer smile and bomb hair. Use photos that show your interests as well – skydiving, swimming, or gardening.

3. Personalize Your Messages

Do you hit everyone you like and match with a “hey, what’s up?” or other similar phrases? If so, don’t wonder why you aren’t getting any meaningful replies and successful dates.

Avoid using generic phrases and go beyond mentioning people’s looks. Although you’re complimenting them, you’re not doing much in starting an interesting conversation.

Instead, comment on something you’ve noticed in their profile – like the dog they’re cuddling in a photo. Ask about it; who knows, it might lead to a date at the dog park this weekend!

4. Discuss Sex Roles If They’re Important

Laying out your expectations upfront is important, but should these include your preferred sex role?

That’s up to you – include that in your profile if you wish, or wait for them to ask you if you want to keep it private. At that time, you may then answer it or not in a way you’re comfortable.

Don’t forget to respect their choices too – as you would want them to respect yours. If your sexual roles don’t match up and he’s not versatile, don’t go on that date hoping that he might go bottom for you.

With that said, sexual roles aren’t always set in stone, some things might change. However, make sure to have a proper, adult discussion before moving forward.

5. Show Your Interest

Playing hard-to-get can be effective, according to several studies, but it’s different from sending the wrong signals.

Don’t say no if you mean yes, respond at convenient times, and ask to meet when you think it’s the right time. Don’t believe that you always have to play hard-to-get for the other person to stay interested in you.

6. Go Somewhere Fresh Yet Comfortable

It can be tempting to bring your date to that bar you frequent, but it’s not advisable if it’s a spot associated with your bachelor days. You wouldn’t want to meet your old flames (or his) while you’re on a date that could turn into a serious relationship.

Go somewhere fresh for the both of you, such as that new joint or restaurant you’ve been itching to try. However, don’t go too far out of your comfort zone; you want to be comfortable enough to be able to focus on your date.

7. Don’t Use Your Phone and Put It on Silent

Have you experienced going on a date and then hearing that distinct dating app notification from your date’s phone? If not, imagine being in that scenario and then imagine how it would be like for your date. It can kill the romantic mood and even a potential relationship.

Show that you are grateful for his presence by avoiding using your phone. Put it on silent so it doesn’t distract you both from having an intimate conversation.

If you’re waiting for a call, adjust your phone’s settings to only go off for that particular call. Likewise, don’t make a scene when your date has to take a call – give him the benefit of the doubt especially if the date is good.

8. Do You Feel the Connection?

Sometimes, you can’t deny that there’s a connection, and it’s great if your date feels that way too. In that case, a good gay dating advice would be to go with the flow; don’t hesitate too much!

Don’t let the stigma of having sex on the first date hinder a natural progression in your date. Don’t worry, it wouldn’t ruin anything unless you force it on him.

If he doesn’t call you afterward, it’s not that you had sex on the first date. It’s likely that you’re not compatible, or that having sex was his only goal in the first place; in both cases, it’s not your fault.

9. Take That Leap

This is the most important advice on our list. Don’t limit yourself to a fetish or type. Having a standard is fine, but having a too narrow set of criteria may be holding back your dating life.

If you’re into bears, don’t dismiss other types right away. Better yet, don’t fetishize. You might be objectifying a person without looking at other things he might offer.

Don’t define a man by his looks, type, race, or even age. You might be missing out on wonderful relationships with great guys because you wouldn’t take a chance on a first date.

Get More Gay Dating Tips

If you want more gay dating tips, such as how to ask a gay guy out or gay dating ideas, visit our blog now. Learn more about dating, relationships, and sex in general!

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