{"id":4144,"date":"2020-08-16T04:38:35","date_gmt":"2020-08-16T04:38:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/?p=4144"},"modified":"2021-01-15T04:59:54","modified_gmt":"2021-01-15T04:59:54","slug":"how-to-out-use-a-user-if-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/how-to-out-use-a-user-if-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to out-use a user if you\u2019re in a toxic relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_11 counter-hierarchy counter-decimal ez-toc-grey\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\"><i class=\"ez-toc-glyphicon ez-toc-icon-toggle\"><\/i><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class=\"ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1\"><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/how-to-out-use-a-user-if-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship\/#If_he_is_using_you_for_his_career%E2%80%A6\" title=\"If he is using you for his career\u2026.\">If he is using you for his career\u2026.<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/how-to-out-use-a-user-if-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship\/#A_true_story\" title=\"A true story:\">A true story:<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/how-to-out-use-a-user-if-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship\/#If_he_is_using_you_for_sex%E2%80%A6\" title=\"If he is using you for sex\u2026.\">If he is using you for sex\u2026.<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/how-to-out-use-a-user-if-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship\/#How_to_outsmart_a_guy_who_only_wants_to_get_into_your_pants\" title=\"How to out-smart a guy who only wants to get into your pants:\u00a0\">How to out-smart a guy who only wants to get into your pants:\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/how-to-out-use-a-user-if-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship\/#How_to_outuse_users,_losers,_and_abusers\" title=\"How to out-use users, losers, and abusers:\u00a0\">How to out-use users, losers, and abusers:\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Some <\/span><span class=\"tm8\">women seeking men <\/span><span class=\"tm7\">have complained about users, losers and abusers in dating and relationships. Although nobody is immune to toxic relationships, you can still try your best to protect yourself. This is especially true if you are already in a toxic relationship that is bad for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4147\" src=\"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"A couple is trying to out-use a user if you\u2019re in a toxic relationship\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1707\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-455x303.jpg 455w, https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/shelby-deeter-XlBjdtRqK8-unsplash-2-267x178.jpg 267w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"ListParagraph tm9\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"If_he_is_using_you_for_his_career%E2%80%A6\"><\/span><strong><span class=\"tm10\">If he is using you for his career\u2026.<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Those who have watched <\/span><strong><em><span class=\"tm12\">Mad Men<\/span><\/em><\/strong><span class=\"tm7\"> probably remember that Don Draper sleeps with women for professional reasons. He had a sexual relationship with Bobbie Barrett in order to make money from Bobbie\u2019s husband. He also had a sexual relationship with Rachel Menken so as to secure that account. Of course, he slept with Dr. Faye Miller to better his own career. Apparently, it doesn\u2019t necessarily mean Don Draper has never loved these ladies. But I would argue that he has definitely used them. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Truthfully, Don Draper isn\u2019t really in a relationship with any of the above-mentioned women because he never gives them a commitment. Therefore, it\u2019s a bit hard to hate Don Draper. But can you imagine that you are in one of these ladies\u2019 shoes while being in an official relationship with a user at the same time?<\/span><span class=\"tm7\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Okay, <\/span><span class=\"tm8\">women seeking men <\/span><span class=\"tm7\">should totally read the real story below.<\/span><span class=\"tm7\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"ListParagraph tm9\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"A_true_story\"><\/span><strong><span class=\"tm10\">A true story:<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">I know a woman called Mandy who was married to a user \u2013 let\u2019s call him Paul. (Note that these are <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">not<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> their real names.) Paul married Mandy because he could see that Mandy comes from a wealthy family and is a very capable woman with a great career. Yet Paul <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">isn\u2019t<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> a high achiever \u2013 he is an ambitious guy with an agenda. He figured out a way to ask Mandy to move to New York City with him so he could have more career opportunities in New York. Mandy said <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">yes<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> to that suggestion. Theoretically, it seems that Paul used Mandy and they moved to New York City for Paul\u2019s future. But in reality, Mandy is a smart cookie. She moved to New York for herself, i.e. her own future.<\/span><span class=\"tm7\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Indeed, Mandy outsmarted Paul by leveling up in New York. She left her previous job and has found a high-profile position in New York City. Meanwhile, she could see that her marriage with Paul was <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">not<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> based on solid true love. She realized that Paul was simply using her for his own agenda. As a result, she became distant and started dating a good guy in New York.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">As I\u2019m typing this article right now, Mandy has already divorced Paul. Because Paul is <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">not only<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> a user <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">but also<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> a loser, he was unable to be successful in New York City and has moved back to his hometown. Also, Mandy and her new fianc\u00e9 Andy are engaged now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">It can be seen that Mandy <\/span><u><span class=\"tm7\">out-used the user<\/span><\/u><span class=\"tm7\"> because she is very switched-on and intelligent!<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"ListParagraph tm9\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"If_he_is_using_you_for_sex%E2%80%A6\"><\/span><strong><span class=\"tm10\">If he is using you for sex\u2026.<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">This is a common situation: <\/span><span class=\"tm8\">women seeking men <\/span><span class=\"tm7\">are constantly used by guys who want cheap sex. Sad but true.<\/span><span class=\"tm7\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Yes, a lot of men use \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/play.google.com\/store\/apps\/details?id=mingle.android.mingle2\">dating<\/a>\u201d as an excuse for getting women into bed. What\u2019s more, the current dating climate encourages men to do exactly that! Obviously, the modern dating climate is best characterized by casual dating and flings before people settle down. In other words, women also <\/span><em><u><span class=\"tm13\">don\u2019t<\/span><\/u><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> expect men to commit to them because everyone assumes that in order to find a commitment, something casual is a must in the first place!<\/span><span class=\"tm7\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">In this dating climate, many men <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">don\u2019t<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> respect women, unfortunately. Worse still, these men use women for sex, very cheap sex.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Frankly, men like that are <\/span><strong><span class=\"tm14\">users<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"tm7\"> and <\/span><strong><span class=\"tm14\">losers<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"tm7\"> at the same time because they <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">cannot<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> afford to date women who have higher standards!<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_outsmart_a_guy_who_only_wants_to_get_into_your_pants\"><\/span><strong><span class=\"tm10\">How to out-smart a guy who only wants to get into your pants:<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"tm7\">\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm8\">Women seeking men <\/span><span class=\"tm7\">must establish high standards when they are looking for suitable men. Without high standards, women are more likely to be used by men for sex. End of story.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Let me put it in this way: If you don\u2019t stick to your standards, then you are vulnerable because men\u2019s manipulation can <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">significantly influence<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> your behavior. They can literally talk you into sleeping with them easily.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Without knowing what you want clearly, you will probably just do what men tell you to do in many cases. Lack of clarity is very, very dangerous. Period.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">Some dating experts argue that you <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">shouldn\u2019t<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> sleep with a new guy within the first 3 months. But I don\u2019t think that\u2019s the right way to handle the situation. As I see it, you <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">shouldn\u2019t<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> sleep with a guy if you <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">don\u2019t<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> have a genuine emotional connection with him first. Let\u2019s say you two are <\/span><em><span class=\"tm13\">not<\/span><\/em><span class=\"tm7\"> even friends. Then how can you expect him to build a real connection with you? After sleeping with you, he can quickly move on if the friendship is absent.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"ListParagraph tm9\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_outuse_users,_losers,_and_abusers\"><\/span><strong><span class=\"tm10\">How to out-use users, losers, and abusers:<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"tm7\">\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"Normal tm6\"><span class=\"tm7\">If you are in a toxic relationship with a user\/loser\/abuser, here is my advice:<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"ListParagraph tm9\">1) You can out-use a user at any time as long as you know what you are able to negotiate for. Please note that in life, you don\u2019t get what you deserve; you only get what you negotiate for. What the user wants is what motivates this user, so all you need to do is to use what he wants to entice him. Then you can find a way to get what you want. Once you\u2019ve got what you want, you should leave the user as soon as possible. That\u2019s because if you stay in that relationship, he might take 10 times back later on!<\/p>\n<p class=\"ListParagraph tm9\">2) Simply out-use the loser by practicing your skills in the bedroom with him. In this way, when you are <a href=\"http:\/\/mingle2.com\">dating<\/a> a high-value alpha guy, you will be ready for high-quality intimacy.<\/p>\n<p class=\"ListParagraph tm9\">3) Out-using the abuser is easy: Now you are the victim, so you are entitled to various support from friends, family, and even the government. You may even ask for compensation from him officially!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Table of Contents If he is using you for his career\u2026.A true story:If he is using you for sex\u2026.How to out-smart a guy who only wants to get into your pants:\u00a0How to out-use users, losers, and abusers:\u00a0 Some women seeking men have complained about users, losers and abusers in dating and relationships. Although nobody is immune to toxic relationships, you can still try your best to protect yourself. This is especially true if you are already in a toxic relationship that is bad for you. If he is using you for his career\u2026. Those who have watched Mad Men probably remember that Don Draper sleeps with women for professional reasons. He had a sexual relationship with Bobbie Barrett in order to make money from Bobbie\u2019s husband. He also had a sexual relationship with Rachel Menken so as to secure that account. Of course, he slept with Dr. Faye Miller to better his own career. Apparently, it doesn\u2019t necessarily mean Don Draper has never loved these ladies. But I would argue that he has definitely used them. Truthfully, Don Draper isn\u2019t really in a relationship with any of the above-mentioned women because he never gives them a commitment. Therefore, it\u2019s a<a href=\"https:\/\/mingle2.com\/blog\/how-to-out-use-a-user-if-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship\/\" class=\"more_link more_link_dots\"> &hellip; <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":4147,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[40,14,407],"metadata":{"_edit_lock":["1610686655:7"],"_edit_last":["7"],"_format_audio_embed":[""],"_format_video_embed":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["4147"],"asalah_show_meta":["yes"],"asalah_show_share":["yes"],"asalah_show_title":["yes"],"show_author_box":["yes"],"asalah_custom_description":[""],"asalah_sidebar_position":["0"],"asalah_enable_sliding_sidebar":["0"],"asalah_sticky_menu":["0"],"_format_gallery_shortcode":[""],"_format_gallery_type":["shortcode"],"_yoast_wpseo_focuskw":["in a toxic relationship"],"_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":["Women seeking men may encounter challenges such as losers, users and abusers; therefore, if you are already in a toxic relationship, please keep reading!"],"_yoast_wpseo_linkdex":["73"],"_yoast_wpseo_content_score":["90"],"_ez-toc-disabled":[""],"_ez-toc-insert":[""],"_ez-toc-heading-levels":["a:0:{}"],"_ez-toc-alttext":[""],"_ez-toc-exclude":[""],"_yoast_wpseo_primary_category":["334"],"hits":["1352"]},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to out-use a user if you\u2019re in a toxic relationship | Mingle2&#039;s Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Women seeking men may encounter challenges such as losers, users and abusers; 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