Topic: path to overcoming fear and pain
anais's photo
Fri 05/03/24 05:11 PM
hey there to anyone being going through some rough shake ups for 3 months now. my name is Anais, 22 years and i just want to share my story and if any sees fit to send an advice my way please feel free. it all starts when i decided to have a long term relationship with a guy lets name him Brad. so i dated brad for 2 years and dont get me wrong everything was perfect between us till one evening a couple of our friends invited us out for dinner and drinks. i declined because i had an exam the next day so i told brad to go so he could spend time with his childhood buddies. took his car keys and he left. that night he came home drunk and i was awake at the time but my dumb brain asked him if he drove home or he took a cab and that was it he snapped and attacked me and punch me in the face. this happened twice so i got scared and broke up with him and moved out. i have being scared of commiting to another person thinking they wil be immature and irresponsible and fearing same thing might happen again. please do you think i should be open again and give it one more try or keep to my self.

soufiehere's photo
Fri 05/03/24 05:29 PM
Drunks can justify everything they do while
under the influence.

You got a bad one.
Not all are.
You are only 22.

There are always failures along the way in
relationships.
You will need to learn to spot anyone with
violent tendencies.

You now have experience of it, so beware ;-)

anais's photo
Fri 05/03/24 05:34 PM
thanks soufiehere he made me realize i need someone mature minded.

Mike Hammer 's photo
Fri 05/03/24 05:46 PM
Many guys your age are irresponsible, and more are immature. I see the problem being his anger issues over a legitimate question, that was not a dumb question. He's just refusing to grow into maturity.

Fear not, don't let that fear crush you.
You've learned from it, and can now ask questions early on in potential relationships to determine their mindset to change when questioned/challenged to immature or irresponsible choices. And how they deal with anger. Anger is mostly caused from your own actions/ decisions, and using others to blame for it.

motowndowntown's photo
Fri 05/03/24 10:03 PM
Is that a Philadelphia Eagles shirt your wearing dear???

Mr Good Guy's photo
Sat 05/04/24 06:07 PM
Edited by Mr Good Guy on Sat 05/04/24 06:08 PM
I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. Drank on the weekends in college a little but not much after that. Although it seems rare in this "Let's have a beer" culture, there are many others out there that their lives don't revolve around partying, bars, or even drinking for that matter.

Find a non-drinker or CASUAL drinker but don't be fooled by those that claim they are casual drinkers when in fact they are not and/or cannot hold their liquor.

That was only one guy. Don't let it cloud all the others out there that may be better for you.

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Sun 05/05/24 08:41 AM
Coward thing hitting female. Drunken or not is not an excuses.. Maturity doesn't come from age.. Respect is inbuilt in behavior an manners..

Good Luck for future an focus on making Yourself stronger..

Whatdoctor's photo
Mon 05/06/24 11:25 AM
You were very unlucky. That behaviour is not normal. I suppose the bit I found really surprising was that bit about "the second time". Never think so little of yourself that you will let something like that pass. That is an assault and worthy of police involvement.

Mike6615's photo
Tue 05/07/24 12:04 PM

Is that a Philadelphia Eagles shirt your wearing dear???


Certainly isn't a Steelers top...

motowndowntown's photo
Tue 05/07/24 12:12 PM


Is that a Philadelphia Eagles shirt your wearing dear???


Certainly isn't a Steelers top...


Odd that someone who claims to be in Georgia would be wearing either.

Jaan Doh 's photo
Thu 05/09/24 01:55 AM
I don't think it's an age related problem, or even the case of getting a bad egg, I have to agree with Southie when she says...
"Drunks can justify everything they do while
under the influence."

I think it's the alcohol and also a lot of what Robin wrote too
"Coward thing hitting female. Drunken or not is not an excuses.. Maturity doesn't come from age.. Respect is inbuilt in behavior an manners.."

You only asked if he drove home...
What if you had asked if there was lipstick on his collar?

Yeah I'm in the process of shedding all my alcohol drinking friends who don't know when to stop drinking..

Good luck to you in the future.