Honey, the lab report's in...

I've seen this on a few profiles: City "Unknown, Colorado" and "Unknown, California".

Are there really cities with that name?

Is this just a fall back when someone doesn't put in a city?

Or is this a red flag telling us about false people?

Me personally, as long as they don't distract me from looking in her eyes, I'm fine with any. Except BUSHY.

After seeing that one picture of the uni-brow, I put that in with BUSHY.

As a comedian said, "When your girl friend gives you the silent treatment... DON'T let her know how much you enjoy it!"

Truth though is when we had an argument, I used the silent treatment on her.

It is easier than trying to take back the words I would have said.

Yes. And the Doctor that created the procedure was become a multi-millionaire.

WARNING: If you tell me your problems, I WILL give you a solution...

You may not LIKE it, but it will be a SOLUTION!

Since I was born in the year of the Dog... Yes.

Normal Zodiac: I don't pay attention to it.

Only my caring heart.

The outside would need a lot of work from a team of plastic surgeons.

Two true stories I remember from my younger days, both about colleges.


At one college a group of activists were handing out cards to promote safe sex. On the card it said, "If you just Have to have sex, use this." And stapled to the card, through the center of the package, was condom.


At another college a survey was taken asking students what practices they were using to prevent pregnancy. One female senior said, "I don't do anything about it. Only married people get pregnant."

Based on all the safety warnings and dangers in our environment and homes. Did you realize that all of us older than 50 shouldn't be as healthy and happy as we are?

My parents spanked me when I did something wrong. Now a days, if they did that, THEY would be punished. I remember drinking sodas that had a sweetener that is banned by the FDA. I remember cartoons with violence (Tom and Jerry, anyone?).

So either all the warnings and scientific studies are wrong, or it is a miracle that we are as well adjusted as we are. At least that is what 51 of my 70 personalities say.

An old man, while looking out the window at the neighborhood, asked his wife, "What do you think the neighbors would say, if I mowed the lawn in the nude?"

Without looking up from the magazine she was reading, his wife of 50 years said, "They'll say I married you for your money."

Isn't true love grand?!!

Sign in a shopping mall: Ears Pierced While You Wait.... How else are they going to do it?

now my sides hurt

A seventy year old man marries a 30 year old woman. The morning after the honeymoon night. The groom skips down the stairs to the hotel restaurant and orders a double steak and egg breakfast. While he is eating hearty, his new bride gingerly and slowly descends and sitting at the counter, orders a large juice. With trembling hands she slowly sips it.

The waitress is confused with the scene. She asks the new bride, "What's going on?"

The bride says, "I was cheated! When he said he had been saving for 40 years..."

The bride wails, "I thought he meant MONEY!"

Which is faster: Hot or Cold?

Hot

Anyone can catch Cold.

Insomnia: Nothing to lose sleep over.

How do you cure Insomnia. Just sleep on it.