LMAO true stories are always the funniest

Doesnt really take years darlin' it takes MONEY!!!

Derek,..reading your posts have made my night,..thanx

I agree,..that says it all

Nice one darlin,..and by the way it is May,.....We still on?? LOL

does the person have any message filters on??

Copy and paste into a new message

honestly,those kids are serial killers in the making. sad,..very sad

Be safe during the move darlin,..i miss ya!

<---- Wants to come play!

Take a scoop for me,..those type of people piss me off!!!!

Every road trip needs someone along that knows first aid
hint-hint-hint

Wont really go away. Dr needs to give you some nitro. that will ease the pain when it occurs. what you are describing sounds like stable angina

me,me,..I love my job!!!!

man i killed the thread didnt i??? sorry

wow,..women are sending you pics???? what am i doing wrong?

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night.
Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy."
Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
"What the...." he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. "Damn!" he says.
He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door
and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door
and shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and
takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out
onto the pavement and falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm soused," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. He
crawls down the street and opens the door and looks inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and shimmies up the door frame,
says, "No fookin' way." But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his
bedroom door and thinks, "I think I can make it.
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face again. He says,
"This is hell. I gotta stop drinking," but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says,
"Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was totally pissfaced. But how'd you know?"
"Mick called... You left your wheelchair at the pub."

A blonde city girl marries a Colorado rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says
to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today.
I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn.
You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial
insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes
him down to the barn.
They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she
tells him, "This is the one right here."
The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, "Tell me lady,
cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know this is the cow to be bred?"
"That's simple. By the nail over its stall," Amy explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the
nail for?" The blonde turns to walk away and says
sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."

There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows:


11. "What the @#$% do you mean we are sinking?"

-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912

10. "What the @#$% was that?"

-- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945


9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"

-- Custer, 1877


8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."

-- Einstein, 1938


7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"

-- Picasso, 1926


6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"

-- Pythagoras, 126 BC


5. "You want! WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"

-- Michelangelo, 1566


4. "Where the @#$% are we?"

-- Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"

-- Noah, 4314 BC



2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"

-- Bill Clinton, 1999


and a drum roll............!



1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad." >

-- Sadaam Hussein, 2003

Im good,sitting at work as always
glad your feeling better