Community > Posts By > sa__m_25

 
sa__m_25's photo
Mon 11/01/10 01:00 PM
sorry to go on... and on... and on... and... on! I had a friend who's son used to smack his head on the floor over and over during a tantrum. She put a blanket down, threw loads of cushions down, put him on it and let him get on with it. He didnt hurt himself and she wasnt involving herself in his anger so he didnt get more wound up.

sa__m_25's photo
Mon 11/01/10 12:56 PM



I have a two year old son that when he is not getting his way or what he wants. He will end up throwing a fit, and start hitting himself a lot of the time.

Question I have is, if anyone has gone through this. What are some ways to work around this to try to teach him not to? Because some times he will end up scratching his face.

When you pay attention to the action it brings it to forefront walk away and ignore the behavior...act like it is not happening....if you ignore it he won't receive the attention he is seeking from you and stop....just tell him fine if you want to hurt yourself go ahead and walk away


I have actually started doing that. Walking away from him when he is not getting what he want's and it seems to help a little. But the little guy will follow me at times and do this laugh

If he follows you fine, attention is the most precious thing for a toddler and withholding it is the most effective punishment, reward good ignore bad. Let him follow you but dont look at him or talk to him when he does, if he becomes agressive to you i would then go to timeout. But there is not harm in overpraising for good behaviour and at the end of the day he has to learn its not acceptible to act that way in a situation. But over do it when he is good

sa__m_25's photo
Mon 11/01/10 12:50 PM
I have a 3 year old and he has just hit the terrible 2's late, what a joy! he has started hitting himself on his legs in frustration when he doesnt get his own way. I just walk away from him, dont look at him, dont talk to him, when he has calmed down i talk to him about what happened and encourage him to explain how he felt. Sometimes if its really bad and he hasnt zoned out i put his arms down by his side and we have some deep breaths together which seems to difuse the situation more quickly but sometimes its hard catching them before the point of no return.
i think the best thing to do is not give him sympathy, no reinforced attention. Another thing i have noticed is if he does actually hurt himself he is soon to stop, then its a matter of "now that was a bit silly, lets get on with the day etc".
It must be very frustrating for little ones not being able to understand how to communicate there feelings properly, i think thats where the tantrums start and the hurting follows on from there if your giving him attention for doing it.
If he does properly hurt himself with scratching etc i wouldnt even mention it if i were you, just clean him up if he needs it and move on.
It is hard and no doubt you feel like pulling your hair out sometimes and no one like to see there child in pain caused by anyone but hang in there, stick to your guns, be consistant and he will learn thats not the way to get what you want :o) Good luck xxx

sa__m_25's photo
Fri 10/15/10 01:01 PM
smiling happy

sa__m_25's photo
Fri 10/15/10 12:25 PM
I dont think its a matter of making yourself happy, yeah if your on your own you have no choice but think about the reason you love people, friends family and lovers, because they make you feel happy.

My perfect partner would be someone that makes me happy, i think you give as good as you get and i am a giving person, i really enjoy looking after someone so it would make me happy to have someone look after me just as much.

Communication is a BIG one. whats the point in being with someone you cant talk too or dont want to talk too? or who cant tell you how they feel?

Also, my slightly shallow side, has to be gorgeous to me. if there is no spark then there is no fire, no fire no passion and i would hate to spend time with someone i dont want to ravish every night.

sa__m_25's photo
Thu 10/14/10 01:51 PM

I remember when i lost my post virginity because the splinters were really hard to get out.

laugh

sa__m_25's photo
Thu 10/14/10 01:06 PM

welcome:smile:


Thanks mom, seen alot of your posts on here! your angel photo is fabulous by the way! Really inspiring x

sa__m_25's photo
Thu 10/14/10 01:03 PM
Thanks guys, that worked better than i expected! x

sa__m_25's photo
Thu 10/14/10 12:46 PM
Hi all, here to introduce myself, am 25 from west sussex in UK, single mum of 1, looking to make new friends and maybe find a true love.

Cant wait to meet you :wink: