Community > Posts By > Unique9586

 
Unique9586's photo
Fri 09/12/08 10:22 AM

OP I see this all very simple -- either accept his actions or don't - short and sweet

entirely up to you, figure out what's important to you and follow your instincts

good luck

Well, with all due respect, the initial question was what can I do to help makes things better, not whether or not I should leave him.

Unique9586's photo
Fri 09/12/08 10:10 AM



When you do things for your lover that used to make them feel good, and then lately it doesn't, you are gonna get these feelings that you described.

You look pretty for him, and it used to drive him wild. He liked it. Now, he has lost interest. Cause that is the bottom line here. He has lost interest in you and is looking to find something to spark him. He wants to keep you around, cause you are now viewed as a "fall back". If he can't get another girl, he has you to fall back on. Sad, but true. Don't buy the "stroking my ego" line. I'm a guy, and that is total BS. That's just my view anyway.

It's not like that. We still have fun together, and get along great when I'm not all upset because I'm not sure if he's lying again or not. I just get in these moods where I just don't know if I can trust him and that's when I get all clingy and stuff. And I know that has to be annoying.


Noticing all your posts/responses include YOUR taking the blame, accepting fault, being the fall person.

If it's all your fault what's the problem?

just asking

It's not my fault that he's lied to me. If someone lied to you, would you just forget about it and give them all your trust?

Unique9586's photo
Fri 09/12/08 10:07 AM

OK... I think you want to leave and are trying to find reasons to say because you don’t want to be alone. Alone is scary but sitting home knowing they are or could be cheating is worse. Trust me it’s not worth it.



No, it's not that I don't want to be alone. I have two guy friends that have been trying to get me to leave him for them. One being his twin brother, my best friend. So it's not really that I don't feel I have options. I just really do love this man, with all my heart. Because when there isn't all this drama, things are wonderful.

Unique9586's photo
Fri 09/12/08 10:02 AM

When you do things for your lover that used to make them feel good, and then lately it doesn't, you are gonna get these feelings that you described.

You look pretty for him, and it used to drive him wild. He liked it. Now, he has lost interest. Cause that is the bottom line here. He has lost interest in you and is looking to find something to spark him. He wants to keep you around, cause you are now viewed as a "fall back". If he can't get another girl, he has you to fall back on. Sad, but true. Don't buy the "stroking my ego" line. I'm a guy, and that is total BS. That's just my view anyway.

It's not like that. We still have fun together, and get along great when I'm not all upset because I'm not sure if he's lying again or not. I just get in these moods where I just don't know if I can trust him and that's when I get all clingy and stuff. And I know that has to be annoying.

Unique9586's photo
Fri 09/12/08 09:54 AM

Ohhh honey, everyone has crap, but there is just some crap just not worth putting up with.

I hear what your saying but step back and think that in 6 months that you could find him in your own bed with someone else. Sure sounds that way... and then what??? Still gonna put up with it?

I hear what you're saying. And yeah, I fear that all the time. But something in me still wants to believe him when he said that he's going to stop doing that stuff and that he's not going to cheat on me. I know that prob'ly sounds pathetic. But I just truly believe that some where in him is a good man. He may only be 2 cm tall right now, but...

Unique9586's photo
Fri 09/12/08 09:44 AM

The feeling of the heart dropping to the pit of your stomach is fear...not knowing if you can do it...but believe me, you can...and if you feel he is cheating or trying to cheat...save yourself NOW! Please, I know you love him...but don't ever let anyone put you in second place...don't ever allow anyone to walk on you...I wish you the best Sweety.flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

Thank you. And you're so right. I just feel like there's something wrong with me. And the way I see it, is all relationships start out good, we all know that. But they never stay that way. I just feel like if I'm not putting up with his crap then I'll just have to be dealing with someone else's crap.

Unique9586's photo
Fri 09/12/08 09:14 AM
Have you ever gotten to the point to where it almost feels like you don't have a heart anymore? Every time you feel like you just need to break down and cry, for some reason you just can't, even if you're just watching a sad movie? Well, this is my story.
Just to get it out of the way, you should know a few things about me. I don't cheat, I don't lie. I do everything and anytthing for my man. I love to take care of him and do things for him that let him know how much I care about and love him.
I've been living with my boyfriend for nearly a year. We found each other on the internet (justsayhi, actually), met up, and things just clicked. He's incredibly sexy, fun to be around, has a pretty good sense of humor...he's wonderful...when he wants to be. But a while back, I found that he messages other woman over the internet and asks them if he can take them out, get together, etc...he tells them how sexy they are, but never compliments me anymore. Even when I take the time to get all dolled up for him. He and one of these chicks had actually make plans to meet up after his bowling league one night and have sex. I do know nothing happened that night. He said it's because his conscience wouldn't let him because of me. I said, "No, it's because she had to babysit that night and couldn't make it. But if she would have, then you would have done it, right?" He really didn't say anything to that. And I found out that other day, that he's trying to get with this same chick again. I confronted him about it and he said he just wants to see if he could, to "stroke his ego" but wouldn't really do anything. He does have a history of cheating on his past girlfriends, but he claims that's because they cheated on him first, but I do know of once where that wasn't the story. He says he hasn't cheated on me and isn't going to. I've asked him how he would feel if I was doing this kind of stuff. He replied that he'd just kick me out. But yet, when I asked him, he said he doesn't feel bad about it. Apologies are WAY out of the question. I find myself clinging to him too much and begging for his attention. He says that he does love me. He also says that he's completely mine, but I just can't believe this. I know this is going to sound pathetic, but I love him too much to want to leave. Every time I try to think about leaving my heart drops into the pit of my stomach. Please, what can I do to save our relationship?

Unique9586's photo
Thu 05/15/08 04:03 PM
What's your favorite metaphor?

For me...love is like a vampire.

Unique9586's photo
Thu 05/15/08 04:00 PM
Nope. I was once told I look like a guy some one knew...grumble

Unique9586's photo
Thu 05/15/08 03:58 PM
It surprises me how many people don't know of Stevie Nicks...

Unique9586's photo
Thu 05/15/08 03:54 PM
Forgive me if I don't get this one word for word, it's been years since I've seen it.

"Where'd you get the coconuts?"
"We found them."
"In Mercia? The coconut is tropical."
"What are you saying?"
"This is a temperate zone."
"The swallows fly north with the warm sun."
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
"Of course not. They could be carried."
"How can a 5 ounce swallow carry a 1 pound coconut?"
"They could grip it by the husk."
"It doesn't matter where they grip it, it's a simple matter of weight ratios."
"I don't care, I want to speak to your king."

Something like that...

Unique9586's photo
Thu 05/15/08 03:50 PM
Edited by Unique9586 on Thu 05/15/08 03:50 PM


He's so drunk he couldn't hit anything. In fact, you're probably seeing double.

I've got two guns, one for each of ya.


Tombstone is one of the greatest films to me.

"I'm your huckleberry"


Yes, Tombstone. You gotta love Doc, I don't care who you are.

Unique9586's photo
Thu 05/15/08 03:48 PM
Ah, yes...Styx. One of my all time favorites. I use to sing Come Sail Away to my niece when she couldn't sleep.

Unique9586's photo
Thu 05/15/08 03:42 PM
Edited by Unique9586 on Thu 05/15/08 03:44 PM
Loser - 3 Doors Down

Breathe in right away
Nothing seems to fill this place
I need this every time
So take your lies get off my case
Some day I will find
A love that flows through me like this
And this will fall away
This will fall away
You're getting closer
To pushing me off of life's little edge
Cause I'm a loser
Sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cause i'm a loser
I'm a loser
This is getting old
I can't break these chains that hold
My body's growing cold
There's nothing left of this mind or my soul
Addiction needs a pacifier
The buzz of this poison's taking me higher
And this will fall away
This will fall away
You're getting closer
To pushing me off of life's little edge
Cause I'm a loser
Sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cause i'm a loser

Unique9586's photo
Wed 05/14/08 04:06 PM
Well, I've recently come to realize that "love" as most people think of it, doesn't really exist. So just have fun with your life.

Unique9586's photo
Wed 05/14/08 03:24 PM
Both. They both sing it. If Michael Jackson didn't sing the chorus nobody would even remember the damned song.

Unique9586's photo
Wed 05/14/08 03:22 PM
He's so drunk he couldn't hit anything. In fact, you're probably seeing double.

I've got two guns, one for each of ya.

Unique9586's photo
Sun 05/11/08 06:52 PM
Beautiful.

Unique9586's photo
Sun 05/11/08 06:49 PM
There's a lot of meanness going around on this site...laugh

Unique9586's photo
Sun 05/11/08 06:43 PM
um...can I plead the fifth?

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