eddie flytt................eng 12
why not follow the beaten path it is an easier route to take many feet have worn a groove you can walk it in the dark
what is it you find so enjoyable in forcing your way through there do you not worry you might get lost what if you should stumble and fall who will find you
why not take the beaten path it will save you time we have leveled out all the hills there is no need to climb straight level many rest stations on the way

why is it you do not like our path come try it you will see this is the way it should be done come try it our way what do you mean go with you do you know how much work that is its a complete waste of time why would i go somewhere i've never been hardship and toil blood sweat and tears our forefathers did that for us come take advantage of their work and do things our way why are you so stubborn what do you hope to find why do you insist on going your own way heh

where are you going come back cant you see the sign dangerous no trespassing its for your own protection damn you you stubborn *** you're going to get us killed where the hell are we going there's no map for this place dammit these prickles hurt why must we climb over rocks hills and trees where are we going do you know the way why do you drag me here great a bog how wonderful full of bugs slime and things what now why are you stopping have you lost your way

oh my god look at that that's something i've never ever seen

As a poem i find the rhythm off and inconsistent rhyming. This was to have been a short story assignment. The base concept is ok, but ending lacks punch.
Please try to use some punctuation including periods. C- tks MZ HEINZ

Mon 06/24/13 09:23 AM
bitter pill
he knew as he sat he should not be there
she with her coffee he has a beer
furtive glances bald innuendos
no thought for tomorrow
now here bold new
exiting frightening partly revenge
to have for himself to take to possess
to return ruined to brag to blame
no honour no glory
just a flag to wave a notch
and he scores he thinks
lightly touching adjusting
she preens-too often ignored?
she blushes at his compliments
her eyes too full to see
the emptiness inside
meaningless poetry
is she lost does she know the way
with which dice does she gamble today
promises given forgotten
blame quickly arranged
take no prisoners
until you have lost
rewrite history to serve youre needs
invent filler for spaces
where logic leaves questions
who is at fault i ask
and silence descends
as fingers are pointing
at everyone else

a smile breaks my face cracks
another link in the chain shattered
painful pleasure this i cannot resist
words stumble make no sense
face brightens cant back off
chit chat make a mess of it
driven by what i do not know
wouldn't give up a heartbeat of it
my shining star my warming sun
that smile far past priceless
ive heard the term follow your heart
but this approaches ridiculous
why cant i find the words i wish
like the ones i practiced last night
im out of time ohh alas
i have done failed yet again
try again tomorrow no doubt
but for now i leave with my coffee
and my pride still intact?

lol good one. I gotta admit im a bit slow didn't catch your meaning till the second reread.

I like the ending very much. I was immediately thrown back into rose madder, S.K., when I started reading.
the remark about the bruise on black was hard to ignore. I am trying to believe you have an imagination.
I am not having much luck with that
could I please give you a virtual hug.
it would make me feel a bit better
ya im a little self centered, but like treating people the way I like to be treated. till they prove that's stupid. then I treat them the way they treat me. I think that may be why I like this so much. the thought is not pleasant. the ending,,, lets say I have a crush on hope.

it may not interest you but some people I know have gone to school to learn to writye the way you do... I believe the term is stream of conscious writing. many people try and just don't get it.. so it stands to reason many people will not be able to "get" your writing... oh well it is supposed to be good for you first and everbody else next.

is good story in Aesop's fables " the man the boy and the donkey,,, about the dangers of listening to other people lol like me.

don't keep trying just keep doing. no such thing as doing creative writing wrong..

I am often asked to indent paragraph spell correctly use punctuation .. in nother words try to do something someone elses way. yes it is harder to read but it is part and parcel of the poem I think. of the expression of self.
and yes I hope it is all just a reference and not experience.

as an example if I try to write properly I jam up. better to get a thought out and have only a few who relate get it than stress yourself out about someone elses issues...
I found it very amusing that people can read sentances miscspelld as long as there are the same amount of letters..
or somewhat close.. only people who want everything easy on them complain about grammer and punctuation and all that other fit in ****.

very interesting piece. I hope it serves its purpose. thank you for sharing.

maybe god had more energy and spirit than you..maybe there is no god as we pathetic clueless morons understand it .i accept ..but i have tried despite reason and i have succeeded in creating..mostly by opening eyes anyway nice to see you actually try

i would agree with that if i say so far science has not found a way to do so .doesnt make it impossible so ya prove is very twisty word

well being somewhat stubborn i feel that anyone who cannot accept that a egg not maybe a chicken egg but a egg came first is in somewhat of a perfect person to accept the norm.little sperm goes into what yes an egg then again what is a sperm an egg i think if we look somewhat outside of what people who cannot know everything think and tell us to believe.if we accept we will never know everything much less very little then a egg must by logic come first.if we look at it as which first a chicken or a chicken egg then the egg came first and produced by mutation the first chicken. lol wanna fight about it or discuss it like reasonable adults and put on some gloves he he he

regret hearing you suffer as well from the issues we all face thank you for proving hard work pays off thank you for not hiding this issue under a rock people complain all the time about how this or that kills so many:::::drunk drivers,smokers.fat people,cancer, very few people seem to realize that depression anger and related issues are the cause behind almost all these killers or at least i think so

why do you read poetry if you dont get it..i am fairly certain the majority of people on this site not just the writers deal with this subject once in awhile ..i think this is helpful to some including myself..i like it well written..who cares if its written from experience..or thought cant be a writer if all you do is deal with comfy stuff..lol how do you know the pills he refers to didnt come from psych..ha ha mine would kill me if i abused them...also smarty pants i have seen 3 shrinks and 1 of them made things worse not all "experts" are worth their weight in crap..sorry if you meant humour you hit a sore spot

hi thanks for your time...i assume it is copyrite tag but page 4 nite w/o smokes 03/21/13...4:49 pm.. creative writing..
appreciate anything you can offer so i dont dwell on this
just a mannerism i am stuck with
thanks again for your time

i did when i was married--but only because i did not wish to be rightfully accused of cheating..i had thoughts pop up all the time -never had a gal pal or net date -just liked the idea of lots of sex
i did get accused a lot though.guilty people often-i hear ,cannot believe thier spouse isnt doing the same thing they are
and apparently it doesnt take much to make a mistake that can haunt you..i think some people dont cheat because they never get the chance,others out of fear but very few because of morality--rather dismal outlook isnt it

i think that is all anyone "normal" wants and expects
it is possible that you may never find anyone who will love you without any doubt.i firmly believe you should get kinda used to that idea.i feel empathy to you because lost love can cripple people beyond repair.i feel sad for you because it may take you a long time to understand something i still at 51 do not.love hurts live bites there is no love without a fight
the great mistake i made was convince myself it would never happen
and act that way..and women saw what i was projecting and logically??? assumed thats who i was...forget about finding someone who loves you w/o a doubt and find someone who YOU love without a doubt..and show them...great big risk..but if it were easy it would be boring..and no i still havnt the knack to follow my own advice

or we could! put it another way..but i need puntuation skills..
why is it, that you think,girls act wierd
why would you want them to act like you
that would be kinda boring
i dont believe i have ever met a woman that acted like a man
maybe close but
my male friends often tell she to shut up because i dont follow the normal us them bs
i think most women act like cats
i think most men act like dogs
i guess im saying i dont "think"girls act wierd unless i compare them to ..hmm ok not myself,the male standard
i think the most bestest person you can find in the world is someone who challanges everthing you believe who constantly makes you shake your head someone who drives you nuts
however since niether i nor anyone i know is perfect it becomes a redundant theory
a rose without the thorn may be beautiful but too easy to take for granted ---maybe those wierdos know this somehow about us on a deep level and it is a survival tactic -or perhaps blondes do have more fun --or maybe they want us to believe they are empty headed and easy to fool so we fool ourselves-hmmm
as a note to explain my dismal lack of understanding of the male "code" i must confess to actually acting "wierd" myself not in the homo way but in thought construction and emotional ?instability?
rather annoying actuslly; both to my friends and my self esteem
i am actually attracted more to the goth/bizarre/megablonde type
but as ive said i am not the norm
i think they act wierd cuz they can and it may get you to notice them quicker?
i think they act wierd cuz they can be
i think they act wierd because they produce better chemicals than we men can
i think they act wierd because most of us drive them crazy
i think they act wierd because we love them that way
i think lol they are a most excellant enemy in this war we wage
roflmao please i surrender take me prisoner beat me ill tell ya whatever you want to know...wow am i wierd

bottom line is to be honest with any potential mate about your situation so they can decide for themselves based upon how they feel about seperations

I think honesty is the best that can be expected of you,,,

voted as best advice...well put

i was legally seperated from my wife....i did not date but well hired an escort to "do the laundry".after an extended argument my ex 2 b did actually agree that even though she hated me even more than ever i did have the right to see others-for whatever reasons.
i myself believe that you have the right to do as you wish.i actually think if you dont allow for other feelings or developments to take root your divorce will likly just get uglier..if on the other hand you rely on the government to lay down the groundrules you will notice im sure that the options are single married separated divorced widowed..I BELIEVE IF YOU WISH TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE A CHEATER IF YOU DATE OR.......you should hang around with judgemental narrow minded unhappy people who tend to give more credence to popular opinion than personal freedoms.i wonder if having just gotten out of the fire you may find it easier to spot the same mistake again vs forgetting the bad to sieze the moment..possible this doesnt make sense but thats whats nice about opinions they are just so ignorable....best wishes i believe you giving it more than a second thought shows an admirable quality i believe many dont have

i can see all the replys so far as fair.i think myself that gfmn has probly the best non-advice-but then i prefer examples...i do wonder to ask though if it was always the way you describe.i myself would imagine a man would be content with all aspects of relationship before marriage..as in if 'she' changed his example could do wonders if worked on ..but if she was always 'that'way i guess id havta ask why you got hitched if sex has such a grip on your satisfaction meter.dont mean to be nosy or ignrnt just kinda beeen there kinda

hi i am wondering about what looks like a copyrite tag on a john and eddie topic in my nite w/o smokes thread? i dont believe i have a problem with this but do wonder why it showed up and who put it there.my story writing mind insists someone is gonna complain i am using thier subjects in further chapters.lol ya maybe im paranoid but it sticks in my mind like all tha rest of my thoughts till i write about it.thank you for your time