Do you think it might just be Comcast? Or perhaps other providers? My mother hasn't been able to contact her sister yet, but communications in the farming province where she resides has been down still.

Wishing you and your family the best. My mother's also been unable to reach her sister at this point. She's hoping that the numbers the news keeps reporting are incorrect. Communication is currently down, but we're hoping to hear word soon.

I haven't been here more than about a week myself, but seems like you meet more actual people by communicating on the forums rather than random spam/scam responses by the match system. Also, I recall someone else mentioned that you can set yourself to stealth mode on this site so you may want to make sure your account options aren't on that setting as well to ensure you get messages.

Verdict is still out on that one for me...either I did something unknowingly bad in a past life that I can't remember or I'm saving up for a really big payout in the Karmic department during a discount special some years down the line lol.

Seriously though, I haven't seen a lot of balance coming back yet ...so it makes me wonder if it's more like how someone I knew explained their view on Karma. They don't believe in it per-say, the feel it's a cycle that goes through periods just like a wall clock makes a circular rotation through the hours of day and night. There will be a cycle of day (the good times) and a cycle of night (the bad times) and it just repeats.

Not sure if your noted profession might startle some of the girls away, but your profile is simple and to the point. But aside from the noted profession in your profile, that would be the only thing I would say might make a girl a little on the queasy side to drop you a line to say hi.

I'm still new here, but so far I think the best way I've found to get to know people better here is to post on the forums. Just relying on the Mingle2 match system seems to be like being on a store market shelf or something...which isn't very fun. Being able to chat on the forums here has made my time more enjoyable and I like this feature better than other places I've been prior to now.

Sending you best wishes and healing prayers.

Don't mind if some of them are fuzzy...that's just my cats.

After reading a bit, I get the impression that there might be an underlying concern about the child potentially being contested over later on...I could be wrong though. However, if that is a concern I would suggest a legal agreement upon the two individuals involved - it can even be part of the condition for having the DNA test.

Being a single mother is not easy. If the man is willing and committed to taking the responsibility by being a father and supporting the child I think he should have the right. My exception to that is if the father to be is abusive and bitter and seeking to use the unborn child as a pawn or bargaining chip in manipulation games - that's not an environment that a child needs to be raised in and it's not fair to the child as a developing individual. If the father to be is of that particular mentality, then it would probably be best for the child to be raised by mom.

Sometimes the very fact of creating another living being brings about a positive change in a person and helps them become well grounded. I'm not stating that it's always the case and this situation may be very different. But the only one that's really going to know are those directly involved in the situation. I'd also suggest probably speaking with trusted family members about the matter as well as a personal doctor. They can provide additional insight and resources to better direct you to the decision that is best for you and your child. This isn't something you should try to hide and deal with on your own. That's just my thoughts, I hope for the best for you and your child.

True, there's more acceptance than there used to be about such things. I like to light a bit of incense though and even if I keep my small section or area scent free afterwards I still got yelled at for lighting stinky stuff. I personally think that incense is a lot better than the potpourri stuff that gets sprayed or plugged into walls...ugh.

I honestly wouldn't mind if they were Christian if they didn't try to convert me. Before my first move away from GA I had a friend that was very strict about her religion - we got along well and had many interesting conversations. But it always seemed at certain points that she'd push a little too hard to get me to follow her belief and in one such instance she was explaining that those that don't follow her religion won't be in Heaven with her after life on this earth ends. I think that's a sad view point to believe that anyone you are friends with will not be seen again in the afterlife just because you walk different paths.

I better understand now why she pressed so hard at times, but it's just not what I believe in personally. It's like a separation anxiety imposed by the religion itself from how she explained her view, and it made me pause for a long while to consider how I'd feel if this was all I knew about keeping those I loved and cared about close to me now and in the hereafter...and it hurts. I'm not going to follow what I don't believe in, but I thank her for that experience to understand the different view point - I can't say I would act differently if that was my understanding of the world and beyond in regards to those I love and care about...it made me feel good on a level to know that she valued our friendship then that much to want to make sure I was there later on in life beyond.

I'm not even sure what I am or how to describe myself these days lol I don't fit into any single category. I just want to know that someone that's with me is okay with me being able to "do my own thing" even if it's not for them. I don't mind being asked why I sit down to meditate and if it's not for them, that's okay. I just don't want to be ridiculed or chastised and made fun of for doing that. I don't think that whomever I'm with needs my "metaphysical resume" of sorts but being able to accept that there are parts of me that differ from the standard norm seen in day-to-day society.

I do have interests that modern-day society would kinda consider normal, maybe not for women, but still thought of as normal. When I get all my emergency funds replaced I'm saving up to learn to be a private pilot and a race car driver! I think driving cross-country for my past two major moves are the reason for that last interest lol. The first is more I don't trust anyone other than myself as a pilot in flight - at least if the plane crashes I know it's my own fault at that point LOL.

Lately this is one that just resonates with me...I kinda feel like I should have run across this one earlier than now.

Thrice - Stare At The Sun Lyrics
--------------------------------

I sit here clutching useless lists
And keys for doors that don't exist
I crack my teeth on pearls

I tear into the history
Show me what it means to me in this world
Yeah, in this world

'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
And I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind

I see the parts but not the whole
I study saints and scholars both
No perfect plan unfurls

Do I trust my heart or just my mind
Why is truth so hard to find in this world
Yeah, in this world

'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
And I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind

I know that there's a point I've missed
A shrine or stone I haven't kissed
A scar that never graced my wrist
A mirror that hasn't met my fist
But I can't help feeling like I'm

Feeling like I'm due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes

And I'm due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
And I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with this thought process.

I still think of myself as an odd-ball...but I'd like to hold at least an intelligent conversation first with a guy. Even still, that's not a sure-fire guarantee for a relationship but at least I know you can string together more than 3-4 words in a proper sentence. (Now that's without allowing myself to mentally start dissecting and correcting grammar and/or punctuation.) Don't call me babe or sweetie or ask for my number or how far you get to go with me or think it'll be cute to drop me a pick-up line...that kind of approach doesn't make me inclined to talk with you.

Sure physical attraction is part of the equation at some point, but everyone has different perspectives on what's attractive. If you indirectly call me fat saying you like a heavy girl I'm going to just block you and try to control the instant impulse to digitally slap you for calling me fat. That might be someone else's preference, but where's that leave me when I get back into my prime shape? Does that mean I'm ugly? If there's no connection or attraction to the individual on any level but physical then I don't think it'll be a long lasting relationship.

What I look for (which may be a bit of a pipe dream or too idealistic) is a man that's:

honest (maybe even almost to a fault)

sweet with a touch of the romantic (doesn't have to be over dramatic, simplicity is best)

intellectually engaging (not asking for a scientist, politician or activist - just someone that can view and explore the world around them and carry on a conversation about it)

adventurous (not looking for the "bad boy" just someone willing to view and explore the world differently...not looking for the weekend warrior to go sky-diving or such either yet at the same time curious about things like that but not feeling they have something to prove...I hope that rambling made sense)

stable (by this I mean well grounded enough to know better that food and bills need to come first before buying that car they really want when they know they can't afford it - loan or not)

thoughtful (you'd think this goes hand-in-hand with another aspect, but oftentimes it doesn't and really what I mean by this is taking the time to show you care by doing the small almost unnoticed actions to show you're thinking of them or being considerate)

genuine (this one's probably the most difficult, I don't want a mask - I want the individual for who they are and I'm not under the illusion of changing a person to being something or someone they're not)

My list is probably a bit too idealistic, but like I said...I think I'm odd.

I think at least in general that whenever we can as individuals we should give thanks to the service men and service women that made the choice to serve on more than just a handful of days. Whether or not as individuals we agree with war and the politics that often get involved, I think it's important that we take the time to remind these individuals that we appreciate their choice to serve for those of us that either are not in a position to do so or chose not to serve. The choice to serve or not isn't right or wrong (not all of us our fighters) but we need our fighters to protect the healers and doctors and teachers and farmers and more that work together to support each other. It was good to see this past weekend so many people that showed up to volunteer where I was as well to organize letters of thanks to service men and service women in all different lines of work. I think it's hard when those in active and non-active service don't hear that "thank you" for being a part of this community to do what you do and do what I cannot. I know I'm probably rambling at this point, but I'm not sure how to convey the words...I don't think anything in words can exactly capture the same expression of joy and excitement that a long-time friend and pet dog gets when reunited with their person. If I could bottle that up and send it to those that served I would - I just wish there were better words than "thank you" that could actually convey that same connected feeling and appreciation.

That seems to happen just about everywhere from what I've found for myself. I'm not one to try these venues of meeting people, but I just don't get out a lot since to me it's
(1) too expensive to go out on my own
(2) not really fun sitting and watching others have fun
(3) crowds of people in general make me a bit uneasy since I'm an introvert

It seems like whenever you have a digital screen filter instead of being able to talk with someone face-to-face (even then there's occasions where you'll still run into the same crass manners) the ratio to intellectual conversation drops to almost 0% and turn into 100% one-liners. I think some boys didn't get the memo that if a pick-up line didn't work at a bar, it's not likely to work on-line here with a dating site/forum/chat.

I've found that here so far the best way to have a conversation is to try and keep up with the forums. In the meantime just weed through the random messages you get and delete the crude ones. Or if they're really offensive report them.

I'm sure you'll find some nice people here on the forums.

Thanks for the different perspective. I try not to count age anymore since I've always felt too old for my own skin even back when I was in middle school decades ago lol.

It'd be kinda nice if there were a more metaphysical/spiritual like site for meeting others. I've already run the gauntlet of the few groups I knew and even dated another Reiki practitioner for a time. That one didn't work out but we broke things off mutually...which in itself was kind of an odd but unique experience. I'm not going to try and pretend that I'm off balance - I had a lot of major life changes take place within the past few years that it's worn me down a bit.

There are days were I don't feel like I can breathe. I find myself fighting with my empathic side more because it hurts too deep. Part of me wonders if it'd be better to just remain isolated so I can't hurt. If I thought being female and emotional during monthly cycles was bad...this is just worse. When I get worn down and exhausted I find it harder to filter out what I feel that's outside of me versus what's around me. I manage, but there are days where if I feel a child about to cry about not getting sweets in the candy aisle of a Wal-Mart...I about break down and cry myself.

I manage, but I don't know how much I can take and why I can't manage to get back to I guess normal standing ground.

I left my ex of about 8 years after it was finally admitted that I was seen as the mother-figure that had more income that they never had prior. That's not what I call a relationship, but they couldn't seem to get past that and I'd tried my hardest to make it work.

I left for new employment outside of the state I lived in, but everything fell apart after I got there with the moving truck. So for about 4 years I struggled first to find employment in retail and then to retain that and pay the basic bills. In the span of that time weird things like my car being stolen from the front work parking lot or having that same vehicle reported stolen never show up as stolen and being written a ticket for it and then having to prove everything that occurred by handing back all the documentation I was given copies of...it was just non-stop. Eventually I was laid off and after multiple 2nd or 3rd call back interviews with no job - my emergency resources ran out so I had to leave and go back here.

When I moved back to this state, I thought things would get better as I focused on recovering from being laid off...it just caused more complications. I found gainful employment quickly and started picking up the pieces and taking responsibility for financial issues I couldn't deal with when I had no income. I'm not entirely back where I want to be, but it's still been a fight to prove I was doing anything right at all. I was being sued on payment that I'd already made arrangements to pay and even submitted several payments before learning that I'd been sued. In the meantime my car decided to die a few times adding to bills I didn't have the resources for...it was my friends that kept me going until they all started vanishing one by one.

I'm not sure how at this point I'd have come this far without even a little support. I'm not perfect, and I've made my share of missteps in life. Right now I've got a fair handle on the other aspects...just missing the people part in my life right now. I thought that if I kept focused, worked hard and was myself that the friendships and relationships part would level out as well...I didn't think about the complications of being me as a problem until recently. I guess that's why I wonder if it's okay to be me and how to explain myself more to anyone I want to develop a relationship with of any kind.

Maybe when I get recovered financially enough to travel I can visit other areas that are cooler lol. Though I'm not too keen on flying...at least not unless I'm the one doing the flying. Giant metal birds make me a bit uneasy, but all the cool places I can't drive to on a really long road trip. I don't trust my personal swimming skills enough yet to consider boats either...

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.

I just don't want there to be any illusions that "I can be changed" or "converted" or that it's just a "condition" that can be cured. I respect that others have their beliefs and lead different paths in life, but I feel it's wrong to start or continue any kind of relationship without an understanding about me. Who I am is not just going to disappear - it's a part of me. I spent days or hours talking with a few in the past and I made sure up front to note that difference in the beginning.

I don't say it to attempt to be "mysterious" or such - I just don't want to be in another relationship for many years where it was all fake. But it seems like coming out in the beginning doesn't help either...it still ends up being fake like I just have a slight imperfection that can be remedied with treatment.

Out of respect for my sister I keep to myself so that she doesn't have to see what she's called my "hippie ways" even though she doesn't know the half of what I do. So I find myself constantly shut up in a corner and just try to go through they days observing the world around me without ever feeling comfortable about being myself.

I thought it would be easier to explain myself better to others if I devoted time to learn and attain skills and knowledge that have existed for hundreds of years or more, but it just seems to complicate matters more to mention your a Reiki practitioner even if that's not all you do. I thought at least if I could point to a book or study that it would help explain things on a logical level. I'm probably going about it all the wrong way and just spinning my wheels - I just don't think it's fair to the other person to not know and feel so invested in a relationship and have that part omitted from the start. Maybe like I've been chided in the past about having a too idealistic view on this is just a pipe dream. I'm just not sure how else to be though.

My friends used to help me strive to better myself in other ways, now it's just depressing since they've all vanished because their girlfriends are afraid of my existence and because I'm single. I don't look at my friends as someone to get involved with like that especially if they're in a relationship. I still believe they're good people, but their actions suck.

I'm kinda ashamed to be female because of the compilation of my own sour experiences throughout life. I get that women inspire men in so many ways, but they also create walls. Not that the guys are without blame - it takes two.

I'm really not sure where to begin now that those I used to go to and get an outside opinion or such are just gone. A pat on the head and keep yer chin up or being told to just soldier on isn't what got me through, it's what I'm doing now to just get through the days. They used to know what best to say at the time or stating facts to get me to think about the situation - enough to light a fire under me that would piss me off just enough to take action. I try to remember all of that, but I can't see the forest for the trees most days.

I'm more comfortable at a library reading or finding a quiet place in the sun at a park or a lake to just relax. It just makes me sad that I don't have anyone to share this or my excitement and amusement with things I experience in life. I'm more of a bore or a bother to my family when I try to share, so it's just me. Yet I can't even seem to start any kind of friendship or relationship anymore. I'm not sure what's going wrong or what I'm doing wrong, but I'd like this cycle to break.

I appreciate knowing that from a Melmacian's perspective I'm not odd.

I was in an 8 year relationship with someone that said they understood my way of life but was just playing along with my heartstrings. How and when do you break the news to a potential significant other about your path delicately? At least in a way that you don't look like you just landed from Mars.