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ahhhhh then she is not truly being honest with what she wants she is saying what she thinks she is supposed to say as an empowered independent woman what she might really mean is I was a dependent woman once upon a time in a relationship or in my first marriage and I did not like having to ask permission anytime I wanted to go the store or get my hair done he was the major bread winner the power in relationship was not equal though I liked that he paid for the meals when we ate out liked that he paid the bills I did not like feeling at times as if he were the one in control I now have my own career, my own money, my own car, phone .. I am now "independent" and I like how that feels...but yet there is a very traditional part of me that still pops up when it comes to relationships I cannot seem to help it when I feel like he is rude if he does not open a car door for me or hold the door when we walk in the restaurant..and I tend to think he is a tight wad if he does not offer to pay then there are men who like to talk about the emasulation of men in our society and when you speak to them of their past relationships..often turns out that once upon a time he was giving, nurturing, vulnerable and got burned for it along the way and now hides behind walls to maintain his self-preservation not accusing you darling just saying people are funny  I think the problem lies mainly in that these things can never TRULY exist in conjuction, what I mean by that is "equal power" and "traditional expectations" in order for equal power to exist equal expectations should exist as well, because if not then all that happened is you shifted the balance of power from him to you. it's the same as if I said I want a strong independent women, but a traditional part of me pops but in relationships that i can't help that feel a women should stay home and raise the kids.....the two can't coexist, someone is going to have to compromise, either the women on her career or the man on his belief. it can't be that one person in the relationship is always 'determing' when tradition is appropriate and when it is not, if that dynamic exists then that shows where the 'power' actually lies. now here comes the rub, biology has most women wired to be attracted to 'powerful' men. ever notice that most female office affairs are with a manager, a supervisor, a boss?...rarely do you hear about a female having an affair with her male secretary. so what we have now is a society, where the balance of power in a relationship has shifted from men to women, but now that they are 'in charge' per se they find themselves no longer attracted to their SO, 'he has no backbone, he won't stand up for himself, I've fallen out of love with him,' it's no wonder the divorce rates have skyrocketed I agree to his point! What defines a real men are not so simple as gender roles, anymore, and what attracts woman are the same reasons they complain about it. If he is a man he should fit your wish list and be more, but the same list contradict everything that they fall for in a man... |
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Someone who can make a good cup of coffee
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Topic:
SINGLE or TAKEN? - part 25
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I am single but it is by choice
Sometimes it's better to be alone than with the wrong person Single= bless and a curse But I just don't want just anyone just someone I can connect physically, and emotionally, who we can just talk about anything |
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I read some of the replies here and I must agree up to an extend
If she is older= she has more experience, takes care of your needs and has a better relations since they don't demand as much as a younger woman If she is young=expect confusion, demands, spend on everything from time to money But I guess there is a limit and a guy should choose someone within the 10 year rule not to date someone 5 years younger or older of your age, too big of a gap can cause miss connections and inestability!!! Do as you want but know that whomever you choose its up to you, just be honest about intentions |
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