Community > Posts By > SexyBeast65

 
SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 11:17 AM
For some people, routine is perfect. For others, there can never be routine or it's over. I think the majority of us prefer the middle ground. We tend to need a bit of routine (work, appointments, etc), but you have to break free from it fairly often to keep things interesting and fun.

When I come home from my routine of work, I don't mind someone being there earlier than expected, with flowers, dinner, and a warm bed waiting for me, lol. As long as she doesn't mind if I return the favor.

If we are going to the store on the weekend, we stop at a museum that's along the way. Hey, it wasn't planned, but we pass it every Saturday and never make plans to go. So, today we go and forget the store until later. That kind of thing is fun. Now, all I need to do is find someone who wants to share that with me......

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 11:09 AM
If she means a lot to you and you can see yourself marrying her, you may wish to bite the bullet and wait. You may be surprised to find she may not wait that long if you've been good to her in the meantime. You can do lots of other things instead that will be satisfying. If you don't think she's the one, or if you just can't wait, move on. It's not fair to either of you to stay and push.

For me, the best is to have sex with someone I care about. But.......it's been a long time and my sex drive is telling me to find something NOW! Lol, I am not a slut and I do care about a woman's feelings, but I have to be honest with myself. I have needs and I would like for them to be met. We all do.

I never would have considered a just sex thing when I was younger, but I realize life is short and I haven't found anyone to settle down with yet. In the meantime, I would be open to that sort of thing. Just to take the edge off so, when I do meet someone special, I don't try to jump too soon.

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:55 AM
10? Hmmm, let's see....

1)It feels soooo good
2)It can be a good way to show love
3)It's better than watching soap operas
4)It keeps your mate happy if you do it once in awhile
5)To get pregnant, if you are trying to get that way, lol
6)It keeps you warm in the winter or in cold climates.
7)Why the hell not?
8)Did I mention that if feels soooo good? Lol.
9)It will make you happy afterwards
10)It's a natural thing that most (not all) humans are driven to do at least once in awhile.

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:48 AM
I know it's hard, but you can't be friends with everyone. If she is trying to keep you from this relationship and is causing you a lot of problems, but blaming you, is she really a friend? REALLY? Real friends don't do this. It sounds as if she may want you back, but don't do it. It doesn't sound like she has changed. She screwed you when you were together, she's trying to screw you now. If you go back with her, I bet she screws you again.

It's difficult, but I would pull her aside one day and tell her it's not working out as a
friendship. Ask her to not contact you at all. No text, phone calls, emails, etc. If she keeps after you, you may have to block her and/or get a restraining order. Sounds harsh, but I am willing to be you won't be able to have a decent relationship with a woman while the ex is still around.

By the way--just what are YOU getting out of keeping her around? Besides a lot of ****?

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:37 AM
Edited by SexyBeast65 on Sun 01/11/09 10:39 AM

flowerforyou When you piss their name in the snowflowerforyou



Lmao--I'd have to be so unbelievably in love to do this. Afterall, if you don't have the proper equipment, it is damn difficult to manage this feat, so it must be true love if I do it, especially since I'd have to pull my pants down and show my ass to the world.

For me, I just know. I just look at her at some point and think: "damn, I love her." Didn't feel that way the day before, but do the second I looked that day. And that's usually about the time she decides she doesn't like me anymore. Sigh....

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:30 AM
The "overly" part seems to say to me that it's too much for someone.

It does depend on compatibility and on mood. Everyone's mood changes.

I hate clingy. If you're clingy and don't understand alone time, move far away from me. Please. NOW! If you are very affectionate, that may be ok. I love affection and am good with lots of it--in private. I don't do well with public displays of affection, if it's too much. Hold my hand and give me a quick kiss hello or good bye, but don't French kiss me in a McDonald's, lol.

I'm romantic and affectionate, but I do get my moments where I just like to be alone and untouched (though not a lot).

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:18 AM
We are imperfect and life is filled with lots of gray areas, so it may depend on a lot of things.

If it truly is abuse, and it's bad, you may wish to leave.

If it's just a matter of being taken for granted, you may want to point it out, in a nice way.

Some people don't realize how they are being and will continue to act that way unless it is pointed out. Hell, you've got to work on your relationships, folks.

Be honest and say something. Offer some suggestions. Ask if you're being this way as well (you may very well be). Ask for advice from someone you know can give it to you, and not take sides. Read a self-help book, or go for counseling.

Don't give up too soon, but don't stick around if it is abusive and the other person won't work with you.

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 10:04 AM
It's been said that no one person can be everything to another person. That includes spouses. That's why we have friends.

As far as anyone married being on a dating site goes, as long as the person is honest about it, then it's up to you to decide if you want to get involved. And yes, some are on here for just friends.

I am a monogamous person who believes in working on my relationships to prevent/solve problems before they become unmanageable, but I can understand why a married person, man or woman, would be here looking for something more.

Marriage is a commitment, but why does it mean more than a person's happiness and peace of mind? I have one life to live, I'll be damned if I am going to give up my happiness and forget my needs just because I made a vow. Yes, the vow is important and many do not put in the time and effort required to make it work. If you have tried, or if you are with someone who will absolutely NOT do anything to help, you have to start thinking about yourself. Yes, sometimes you have to be selfish. You, and you alone, are responsible for your own happiness and life is short.

Some people are not in the position to leave a bad marriage, yet still want love, companionship, sex, etc. I can understand this.

I was with someone who treated me well for over a year before we moved in and made commitments. Right after we did, things changed. This nice person became very verbally and emotionally abusive and withheld sex. After several years of me (and only me, by the way) trying to work on our problems, I left. If I had met someone after trying to work on my relationship, but before I had actually left, I may have gotten involved. I was not going to let a vow keep me in a loveless, sexless, abusive relationship. No vow is that important.

With all that said, you do still have to be careful. Is the marriage over, or is that what you're being told just so the other person can have fun at your expense?

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 09:31 AM
I am no swimsuit model myself and do not mind anyone a bit on the larger side, but I do understand if someone isn't into it.

A lot of people are not willing to admit they have preferences as far as looks are concerned, bacause they do not want to be thought of as shallow. The fact is, most of us have certain physical attributes we will NOT go for. For some, it's size.

Personality plays a very big part in determining who I want to be with (as it does for most of us), but I do have some things that turn me off to the point where personality will not overcome them. I am not afraid to be honest about it because I know we pretty much all are like this. I don't mind women from slender to heavy, but I can't see myself with someone whose bones stick out or who is 500lbs. There are studies that suggest there is a biological component to why we like what we do physically.

I will say, however, that the guy from the movie was being stupid. Afterall, it sounded like he wanted someone to just go to the movies with. In that situation, size shouldn't matter. And that friend probably shouldn't have mentioned the reason. This is one time where honesty is not the best policy.



SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 09:11 AM
Edited by SexyBeast65 on Sun 01/11/09 09:15 AM
I am very honest and expect honesty in return, but am smart enough to know that no one is 100% honest, myself included. People who say they are totally truthful are lying, lol. I guess what I really expect is for someone to usually be honest, especially in important situations.

As far as kicking someone to the curb forever for lying, that's not necessarily the best way. You have to take into consideration that very little in life is black and white. I look at the person who lied, the lie, and the why behind it. If you lied because you wanted to keep from hurting my feelings, it may be ok. If you lied just to keep yourself out of trouble with me, we may have a problem.

Since no one is 100%, it's not right to expect anyone else to be. You just have to decide for yourself what you are willing to put up with. Everybody lies, so I expect it. That doesn't mean I will put up with it--just depends on the situation and how often I get lied to.

With that said, I have been lied to plenty. It has rarely been necessary for anyone to have done so. I guess I just meet people with poor character. And I am very tired of it. Tell me a white lie if you want, but don't tell me you want to be with me when you've started to date someone else, just because you do not want to hurt my feelings. As if I won't ever find out later--then it's worse. Those are the lies that you get rid of someone over.

SexyBeast65's photo
Sun 01/11/09 08:51 AM
Single. While I do not need a woman to complete me, I would very much like one to share life with.