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Thu 11/20/14 04:06 AM
Edited by peterbrorsson on Thu 11/20/14 04:06 AM
@ maxisu

quote: You accused me of a goofball ...

and don't tell me it's because I simply reposted a picture:quote

I'm sorry, that "Goofball" in the end of my reply is directed to the member Goofball!!!!!!!!

Beside that, I have different opinion and experience about Poland. I have lived there and worked for many years, it's my opinion!

I'm sure there are lawyers that are to be found who are reasonable. I have simply not found any yet. And as I said earlier, I'm lazy about it. Not really put any bigger effort in it!

Peter

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Wed 11/19/14 07:08 AM


Peace love and understanding:wink:


Hello Peter
What are dogs doing when they come from out of water? They shake their body to dry the fur. You have spend much time on this thread. You know, yesterday is gone. Take a deep breath, shake off, do what has to be done and move forward. This is your life. Live it your own way, by learning from misstakes, by experiences, and by the confidence that you are a real man. The Bible says, you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You have much to give. At the right time you gonna meet the right woman, who will love you just as you are - unconditionally. She will bring out the best in you. Love her with all of your heart and live happily.

I love you with the love of the Lord. Be blessed!
Rev. Vera


Hi Vera and thanks for the words! Not so much time spent, I'm a fast reader + the language and subtlety (mine also) is not overly complex;o) Add the fact I have a lot of time during evenings as I spend most of the week in hotels.

Although I'm not a believer, I appreciate your words! I live a quite good life and are content with it for the moment. True is that I'm not happy being so far from children but I could change that for sure.
But life is about taking decisions and live with it. I've always been able to survive difficult situations and walk on with life. My inspiration is my mother who is about the strongest human I've ever met.

Interesting that you are a Reverend, in my birthplace I believe Lutheran female priests were ordained already in the late 70's but I'm not sure about it…..

Peter

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Wed 11/19/14 06:48 AM


Peace love and understanding:wink:

Peter



Goofball ? Really...?? lol




Goofball, really?! Haven't you seen my and Picard's photo? You meant to write Golf ball, or? ;o)

Peter

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Tue 11/18/14 12:40 PM
Peace love and understanding:wink:

Peter

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Mon 11/17/14 04:42 PM

this is all because some woman who asked you.. to show he!r your divorce papers... correct....


That's one way to see itlaugh It has though confirmed some things about people:wink:

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 04:41 PM

I am going to repeat what I said on page 1 of this thread.

There is nothing wrong with a single woman walking away from a man who is still married.



I have not claimed that, have I?

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 04:38 PM

I do not know you Peter. You might be a good man. Perhaps you are a great dad who loves his kids and doesn't want to get the divorce because of fear that your wife, who cheated you and used kids to blackmail you, will take everything you have and prevent you from seeing them or convince them you were just SOB. That's a possibility too. If that's the case, it doesn't take too much imagination to see the drama in a life of a women who would accept to have a relationship with you while you delay the divorce in order not to be ripped off by your ex and dad who become a stranger to his kids.
In conclusion; whatever you real reasons for leaving unfinished business are, some women will not get into relationships with separated men. I think Minglers already provided explanations. It's up to you to make your own conclusions and decisions. The best of luck in future!



No, my wife did not cheat me. Yet another thing assumed or misunderstood. I don't care, it's gone too far to sort this up now. Read Zero_Effected's first post, I think quite the same. Add the fact, that many women have been cheated on, or have waited for married men to divorce to no avail. A divorce paper COULD be a false sense of security, that's my point. I wrote also "most" women in my first post, not all!

Btw, the Koran allows divorce if husband neglects the wife, that's a fact. Read it, it's a quite interesting book;o) If not the muslim church had misinterpret it….Catholic church is still hesitant with divorce…..
My reason why not push thru with divorce is written in my posts.
Peter

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Mon 11/17/14 04:15 PM




thank you Peter..I have many curiosities as well and rarely pass up an opportunity to have a good, healthy discussion/debate! I am not one to pass judgement or force my morality on others, however if cornered, I will defend my values pitchfork simply put, my opinion is how I'd feel IF I were in that situation.. I'm more a "live & let live" type..:wink: but I DO enjoy playing "devil's advocate" though bigsmile


Haha, so I'm the devil now! Ok, I'm not an angel exactly. Ah heck, toss that in the bin as I'm an atheist also. But lets not start that discussion here. I feel the presence of God Fearing Americans;o)

Peter

noooooooooooooo noway
slaphead in any healthy debate.. both sides need to be clarified is all.. thus I enjoy being a devils advocate.. never called YOU a devil.. hmmm.. selective reading perhaps? :wink:pitchfork

laughlaugh no worries here.. I'm not a God Fearing American :wink:laugh



No worries, I got the drift. Just pulling your leg:wink:

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 02:47 PM

Peter, you are as good at evading as I am. ha.


Ok? Ha!?

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 02:47 PM
Edited by peterbrorsson on Mon 11/17/14 02:54 PM


cheese burgers.




and "
tell me.. if you were reading a book.. would you start another book beFORE finishing the first? or watch a movie or TV show only 3/4 of the way through then change the channel or switch the DVD? it's similar in principal when you think about it for a moment.. the logic is.. finish what you've started THEN move on with the next project.. be it book.. movie.. or relationship!"





lol...my answer is yes to all the above...!!

So I don't have any advice to give...and I don't think I did anyways. I don't think there is a right or wrong way of doing things. However more often then not relationships obey to maths.

If you are in love with someone that needs to see your divorce papers...you better get them unless she accepts not to have them and understands your point of view.

And considering society and the majority of point of views...it's probably up to you to get the divorce. Besides you said you hoped for it...so what is standing in the way ?

It's as simple as that...




Yes, this is clear to me.
So what's standing in the way? I wrote this before all the popcorn came into the picture, damn you posting it, I like popcorn and it's time to go to sleep:o)

Quote:
Attorney Poland=read mobster style+I'm a foreigner=rip-a-new-a-hole-in-his-wallet
Anyway, Poland is the most radical Catholic country in Europe and my wife is deeply religious. I'm working on it!
If I would be really bad, I have the means to bribe a judge or who ever come running when winking some Euro's in the air. However, I want to fix this in a good way, I have two children's that are adorable and don't want to ruin our relationship(That is my relation to children for you that don't understand) by going berserk with lawyers and judges.

But thanks for the advice Goofball:o)Quote


Never mind of the cost, I will have to resort to pay attorneys if we cannot agree ourself.

Peter

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Mon 11/17/14 02:28 PM


@Chrystalfairy

Quote**** knows why that took so long. All it takes is a judge to say "Ok", you don't even have to be there?:Quote

It's probation time if parties have a temporary disagreement that end up bad. It's the same in Czech, Poland, Italy, Austria you name it. Except in Sweden, it doesn't take long time as all is decided by state law, 50% properties, 50% children= split custody, if not possible with split custody, the person who can't/isn't willing has to pay according to his/hers income. Yet again, according to state law. This is valid also for people living together without being married.

In Austria, a man has to pay her 40% of brut income until she retires. No matter if she start to live with another man. As taxes in Austria is one of the highest in Europe, a man is basically bankrupt when divorced.

This was a couple of years ago but I don't think it has changed much….

Peter



What are you trying to say?

That you do not want to go through the paperwork because you don't your want ex-wife to get the quoted percent of your income, or you don't want to face bankruptcy or...what?

Why did you bring out these laws? What do they have to do with your reasons for unfinished divorce procedure?

If those are your reasons for still being separated, why would anyone believe your word that you are planning to divorce in future?


Relax, you're in combat mode. This was just peculiar info. Besides I've said that I paid her half of my coin collection and pay her monthly. You're going off assuming fictions again:o)

Peter

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Mon 11/17/14 02:21 PM



First I would say that you are right about insulting and bad manners. I should ignore a person when somebody is making up stories about my life. Further on, addressing somebody "like him" "He is" is a kind of insult, however sugared. I'll stop the insulting remarks now then.

So you think I had these relationships when I was married?? All these mentioned here was in response to "men are not to be trusted" I wrote then that I had been cheated on. These relationships happened in my youth, none of them are connected with my marriage.



Fine. I'm willing to admit making wrong assumptions, but not to apologize for the conclusions that still stand.

You had these relationships prior to that marriage and now you want to get into a new one before completing the divorce papers. One of the arguments you used included indirect justification of cheating by pointing out the fact many married people have relationships despite the fact they are still married. You know what it is called.

It still means leaving unfinished business and expecting the new better half to accept it, along with all the risks SHE should accept because you take your time and demand her to trust you without any proof. All you offer is your word without an appropriate action that follows it.

Regarding rude behavior, allow me to refer you to my first reply in which I clearly stated: "Se, here is your free answer without any further clarifications."

You have chosen to selectively focus on only one part of my reply, ignore the rest of it and ask for a clarification:

"Yes, words are just words, papers are just papers and people are just peoples. As I was saying, when I was just living with women, not married. No one was asking of papers to prove it! What's the difference?

And btw, what do you mean by throwing away money???"


By selectively listening, ignoring what you do not want to hear and making rude remarks because you disliked similar replies you got from others, you opened a door to being treated the way you were treated. So, yes, you were addressed as "him" which qualifies such a behavior equally rude as yours.

The person who demonstrates a lack of manners shouldn't rely on good manners of those whom he addresses in such a way.




Ok, As written before. rude manners is not good. I don't need any justifications from you or anybody else. I'm just curious of reasoning, papers versus trust.

Peter

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Mon 11/17/14 12:35 PM
Edited by peterbrorsson on Mon 11/17/14 12:38 PM
@Chrystalfairy

Quote**** knows why that took so long. All it takes is a judge to say "Ok", you don't even have to be there?:Quote

It's probation time if parties have a temporary disagreement that end up bad. It's the same in Czech, Poland, Italy, Austria you name it. Except in Sweden, it doesn't take long time as all is decided by state law, 50% properties, 50% children= split custody, if not possible with split custody, the person who can't/isn't willing has to pay according to his/hers income. Yet again, according to state law. This is valid also for people living together without being married.

In Austria, a man has to pay her 40% of brut income until she retires. No matter if she start to live with another man. As taxes in Austria is one of the highest in Europe, a man is basically bankrupt when divorced.

This was a couple of years ago but I don't think it has changed much….

Peter

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 12:18 PM

Cost of a good divorce lawyer?- $1500 and up.
Cost of a divorce? She gets half or more.
Moving on with your life? Priceless.....and phuck the costs


This message provided to you by Goofball INC.


Attorney Poland=read mobster style+I'm a foreigner=rip-a-new-a-hole-in-his-wallet
Anyway, Poland is the most radical Catholic country in Europe and my wife is deeply religious. I'm working on it!
If I would be really bad, I have the means to bribe a judge or who ever come running when winking some Euro's in the air. However, I want to fix this in a good way, I have two children's that are adorable and don't want to ruin our relationship(That is my relation to children for you that don't understand) by going berserk with lawyers and judges.

But thanks for the advice Goofball:o)

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 11:53 AM



I get what you're saying.. in your mind, it's over.. so women should trust in your feelings towards them along with your uttered reassurances, and disregard the fact that there's still a piece of paper (your marriage license) that's binding you yet, to another woman...

if I may state the obvious.. women can be as territorial as men in relationships(as well as other areas admittedly).. we like to think we're the ONLY one in our 'mans' life.. and because there are women (and men) who take the sanctity of marriage very seriously.. it's oftentimes hard to overcome the 'feeling' that our MAN can't totally commit to the current relationship, until that paperwork is done!

in other words.. perhaps these women ran because they didn't feel you were 'free' enough to REALLY be with them in a committed relationship, regardless of the affections you showed them AND you saying "trust me"!

some may also perceive that without 'doing the paperwork', you may one day return to your ex (having unfinished business with them perhaps? still hold a torch for perhaps?) and are leaving your options open by NOT finalizing the divorce! that said.. if you have a flippant(or unconcerned) attitude towards the marriage relationship itself.. some may surmise that maybe you're a) not ready to move on, or b) relationships in themselves aren't AS important to you, causing the sense that the current relationship isn't worth fighting for! if you follow...

tell me.. if you were reading a book.. would you start another book beFORE finishing the first? or watch a movie or TV show only 3/4 of the way through then change the channel or switch the DVD? it's similar in principal when you think about it for a moment.. the logic is.. finish what you've started THEN move on with the next project.. be it book.. movie.. or relationship!

but that's just MY opinion flowerforyou


Hi, that was a well thought and balanced post! + with a wish to understand the question! Look, I'm not asking this in order to complain, I'm just curious and like to have discussions!
Flowers right back at you:o)


thank you Peter..I have many curiosities as well and rarely pass up an opportunity to have a good, healthy discussion/debate! I am not one to pass judgement or force my morality on others, however if cornered, I will defend my values pitchfork simply put, my opinion is how I'd feel IF I were in that situation.. I'm more a "live & let live" type..:wink: but I DO enjoy playing "devil's advocate" though bigsmile


Haha, so I'm the devil now! Ok, I'm not an angel exactly. Ah heck, toss that in the bin as I'm an atheist also. But lets not start that discussion here. I feel the presence of God Fearing Americans;o)

Peter

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 11:42 AM
Edited by peterbrorsson on Mon 11/17/14 11:53 AM


I wanted only to have opinions about reasons and thoughts behind the divorce papers.I never intended to expose my private life here.


In all honesty, I can tell you the reasoning for my 1st ex NOT cooperating with our divorce and my getting a divorce from him without his signature on any papers, was he told me when asked 15 years later:

"You left with our daughter, took her from me. I was mad."

I replied, "You were on drugs and abandoned me for a week. I had no choice."


Pretty plain and simple. It was control for revenge that he tried blocking and procrastinating the divorce. Oh, then there's the fact that he didn't pay child support for 15 years either. It was also about money.

I have no sympathy for a man whom thinks he can control a woman even from a distance.


I can't agree with you more but will add: I have no sympathy for any human that behaves like that. Man or woman!!
However, I was jumped upon when adding some info of my life. Someone told me that my wife was not here to defend herself. And I know that is correct, however I will not display the details of my life here where there are so many people that only seek problems.

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 11:33 AM

frustrated Long story short and understandable; If you have the papers on you(Married) and don't have the others on file (Divorced) Titles and Warranties are non-transferable leaving you null and void!!tongue2 :angel:


That has been said before and understood by me since long. You have maybe not understood my question. I will not repeat it again, it's somewhere in this thread…..

Peter

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Mon 11/17/14 11:30 AM

Hello Peter, you started a topic. It was very interesting to reading the replies. Surely we have taken profit by sharing facts, experiences and opinions. I believe this topic was not only a long discussion but also a fruitful one, because we read, we understand (or do not) and we can buy from it. Thanks Peter for your openness. Please let us know when a new sweet happiness takes over in your life!

Greetings to everyone on this topic!


Thanks:o)

peterbrorsson's photo
Mon 11/17/14 02:04 AM
@ Maxisu

Quote:I don't know, but maybe you do not give a very straight forward impression. ( I can only talk for myself but that is an impression I get from your comments and replies).
As RG put it well...there are some sudden "backspins".:Quote

Yes, you are right! I wanted only to have opinions about reasons and thoughts behind the divorce papers.
I never intended to expose my private life here. There are many more details of my marriage and life that are affecting my responses here. Seriously, you think I'm going deep into that.

As can be seen in OnNewJourney response here:

Quote: The current year is 2014. If seven years long marriage ended by separation, not divorce, in 2010, when did those three 4+ years long relationships happen? One four years long relationship (let's not address that "+" in a "4+ years long relationships" now) might have happened between 2010 and 2014, while he was separated, not divorced.

What about the remaining two 4+ years long relationships? WHEN did they happen? Before or after 2007?:Quote

It is so wrong I don't even know where to begin! I have replied shortly in the previous post. However it's good that questions were asked. But one thing I've learned here, people are quick to make assumptions for sure. It's even worse when it's behind a keyboard.

And to comment the post of paying a prostitute. Well, I thought it was kind of funny, however not all people would take that in good spirits.

Peter

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Mon 11/17/14 01:26 AM

OP wrote: "I'm a sort of an overdue male of 51 year. I've been through three +4 year long relationships and one marriage of seven years. Not a great deal of points in the "€œgame" of life, huh? But anyway, now I want to know something from you females.

During the years before getting married, there were no questions asked if there were any papers confirming end of relationship. Now when wife and I separated 2010, I've been meeting women who had interest in me until question of marriage and divorce papers to prove the end of relationship occurred.”


The current year is 2014. If seven years long marriage ended by separation, not divorce, in 2010, when did those three 4+ years long relationships happen? One four years long relationship (let's not address that "+" in a "4+ years long relationships" now) might have happened between 2010 and 2014, while he was separated, not divorced.

What about the remaining two 4+ years long relationships? WHEN did they happen? Before or after 2007?

And why did OP ask:" What is it with the idea of a person that has a paper that says he is married is not trusted when saying relationship is over, when at the same time, there are so many married couples that go over the domestic borders all the time. No matter he, she or it;o)"?

After reading our replies he concluded:" Me as a male, I would not claim any proof of finished paper work before entering relationship. (Observe not marriage! I'm not that stupid to enter bigami as some believe;o)"


I am sure he knows how entering any relationship while still married (not divorced, meaning over with that relationship) is called. If he doesn't know what it's called or doesn't like when he is told it is called cheating, that's his problem.

He is not the only one who didn't get justification and encouragement to go ahead with it from other people on online dating sites.

If he still doesn't give up looking for justification and doesn't restrain himself from insulting those who denied it to him, that can't be excused by English as a second language. It has nothing to do with command in any language, but all to do with arrogance and lack of manners.



First I would say that you are right about insulting and bad manners. I should ignore a person when somebody is making up stories about my life. Further on, addressing somebody "like him" "He is" is a kind of insult, however sugared. I'll stop the insulting remarks now then.

So you think I had these relationships when I was married?? All these mentioned here was in response to "men are not to be trusted" I wrote then that I had been cheated on. These relationships happened in my youth, none of them are connected with my marriage.

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