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| Topic: Why would she say this? | |
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My girlfriend just left me for an ex. Now the thing is, she says she still loves me, just not like she used to. She also says that she's only with him temporarily and that she still wants to get married and have a life together like we planned. That's a simplified version... there are lots of things she's saying and doing that makes me go "wtf?" but the main thing I don't get is why she would be doing this when she's told me that she doesn't think it will last and that she plans to come back to me? She says she expects it to last a while, no shorter than a month or two but definitely not years.
This is someone I have LOVED like I never thought I coudl love another human... for a year and almost 8 months. I was ready to spend my life with her and she hits me with this out of the blue. Wtf is going on? |
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and she'll leave you with a smile-george strait
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My girlfriend just left me for an ex. Now the thing is, she says she still loves me, just not like she used to. She also says that she's only with him temporarily and that she still wants to get married and have a life together like we planned. That's a simplified version... there are lots of things she's saying and doing that makes me go "wtf?" but the main thing I don't get is why she would be doing this when she's told me that she doesn't think it will last and that she plans to come back to me? She says she expects it to last a while, no shorter than a month or two but definitely not years. This is someone I have LOVED like I never thought I coudl love another human... for a year and almost 8 months. I was ready to spend my life with her and she hits me with this out of the blue. Wtf is going on? Time to move on there buddy........she already has.....no offense meant......just fact..... |
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My girlfriend just left me for an ex. Now the thing is, she says she still loves me, just not like she used to. She also says that she's only with him temporarily and that she still wants to get married and have a life together like we planned. That's a simplified version... there are lots of things she's saying and doing that makes me go "wtf?" but the main thing I don't get is why she would be doing this when she's told me that she doesn't think it will last and that she plans to come back to me? She says she expects it to last a while, no shorter than a month or two but definitely not years. This is someone I have LOVED like I never thought I coudl love another human... for a year and almost 8 months. I was ready to spend my life with her and she hits me with this out of the blue. Wtf is going on? WTF!!!!!!! dump her fast... leave town... |
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man, i definitely feel what you are going through...i went through something similar....and it was one of the hardest things to get over
but seriously, she doesn't respect your love or love you enough to stay with you....she is just stringing you along from what you explained move on (and it will be excruciating), but you shouldn't have to deal with her playing games with you, and that is definitely what she is doing good luck man and hang tough |
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yeah honey you need to kick that B*tch to the curb...No one should have to deal with that..... You can find so much better.......
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at least you found out before marrying her instead of 16 years later like I did. Believe it or not, she has done you a HUGE favor.
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Edited by
Calleigh12
on
Mon 09/22/08 02:53 PM
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Leave her now before you end up one of the "nice guys who finish last." Trust me on this...
 Umm, I just read your profile and it says you don't mind if your girl has "a little harmless fun with other guys" and you "like the idea of swinging." Okay then, maybe she's having her fun with other guys? Maybe she really does love you and means to come back to you, if that's the kind of lifestyle you and her are into... |
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Short answer: She's trying to have her cake and eat it too.
Without wasting a lot of verbiage (I'm doing household chores right now) I would make a further observation that she must consider you pretty damned dumb. (That's not me saying that I think you are dumb; it's me saying that from the evidence you've presented here, it's obvious that SHE thinks you are dumb.) Unfortunately, love does not conquer all and should not be considered a trump card in any dealing. A further thought is that she probably is one of those people who will tell herself that she's being "honest" in not hiding an affair like this one. So much for honesty! That's why I generally don't associate with people who say that honesty is a big priority for them and why I don't pretend to be "honest" myself. Whether you accept what she's telling you and continue to love her in spite of these things or not is up to your own personal standards, of course. Marrying her I would consider a poor idea, however. I hope this helps. I feel bad for ya, but just tell yourself that it's better to know what a... um... er... FREE SPIRIT she is before you commit to spending the rest of your life with her. yours in Chaos, Scarlett |
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man, i definitely feel what you are going through...i went through something similar....and it was one of the hardest things to get over but seriously, she doesn't respect your love or love you enough to stay with you....she is just stringing you along from what you explained move on (and it will be excruciating), but you shouldn't have to deal with her playing games with you, and that is definitely what she is doing good luck man and hang tough I agree with Nova... Itll be tough but you gotta do it.. for YOUR sake !!! |
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Why would you even want her back after something like this?? If you take it once, she'll be sure and do it again. Go have fun and forget about her. 
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Scarlett is right , she want her cake and eat it
Move on bro unless you want to go through More pain which i think is where you're heading Sorry to say but nothing else you can do |
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You are being taken for a ride!!!! I had a guy do this to me and I waited for him like an idiot!!!!
I can tell you from experience that she is using you, she has you on a rope and if this other relationship doesn't work out she is choosing you as second. You need to tell her that you are number 1 and won't play the number 2 spot EVER!!!!! Trust me, that will make her want you as her number 1, but in the end it is really up to you to hold your self as better than what she is or what she could ever get! |
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by the way man, i just want to let you know that WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE BEFORE.....so you are not alone when it comes to sh** like this
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My girlfriend just left me for an ex. Now the thing is, she says she still loves me, just not like she used to. She also says that she's only with him temporarily and that she still wants to get married and have a life together like we planned. That's a simplified version... there are lots of things she's saying and doing that makes me go "wtf?" but the main thing I don't get is why she would be doing this when she's told me that she doesn't think it will last and that she plans to come back to me? She says she expects it to last a while, no shorter than a month or two but definitely not years. This is someone I have LOVED like I never thought I coudl love another human... for a year and almost 8 months. I was ready to spend my life with her and she hits me with this out of the blue. Wtf is going on? Sounds like my most recent situation. Is she bipolar? |
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You are being taken for a ride!!!! I had a guy do this to me and I waited for him like an idiot!!!! I can tell you from experience that she is using you, she has you on a rope and if this other relationship doesn't work out she is choosing you as second. You need to tell her that you are number 1 and won't play the number 2 spot EVER!!!!! Trust me, that will make her want you as her number 1, but in the end it is really up to you to hold your self as better than what she is or what she could ever get! Tazz......I'll be your number one!!!!
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DUDE....
BEEN there DONE that... have the scars (real and emotional) to prove it... i have one word RUN RUN AND RUN FAST man,, FAST AND FAR!!!! and NEVER look back she is trying to make you the fall back.. the backup plan.. keep you on a string so if things dont work out with the ex.. she still has you in your lil cage to play with... get out man.. and good luck.... im sorry she is doing this to ya.. |
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You are being taken for a ride!!!! I had a guy do this to me and I waited for him like an idiot!!!! I can tell you from experience that she is using you, she has you on a rope and if this other relationship doesn't work out she is choosing you as second. You need to tell her that you are number 1 and won't play the number 2 spot EVER!!!!! Trust me, that will make her want you as her number 1, but in the end it is really up to you to hold your self as better than what she is or what she could ever get! Tazz......I'll be your number one!!!! AAAAHHHH!!!! 
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Edited by
The_Pete_Man
on
Mon 09/22/08 03:11 PM
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Get rid of her, fast! She has a guy on the back burner, and the fact that she EVER HAD a guy on the back burner, even in her mind and heart, means that she doesn't love you enough.
I had a very similar thing happen to me 3 years ago, and I took her back, only to find out AFTER TAKING HER BACK that she lied to me - and her ex - so much that, to this day, I don't know how much of the relationship was even for real. I finally got rid of her, and had to go through all the pain anyway; I just postponed it. It wasn't worth it. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN! |
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I'm trying to think this through rationally without letting emotions get the best of me. I mean, everyone hears about this and gets mad at her and because of that they will talk about how she's playing me and I should basically say "FU" and never speak to her again. And that's what I would do if I was to let my anger and jealousy take over and just act on instinct. But logically, you can't help who you fall in or out of love with... so I don't feel like she's doing this intentionally just to be a b*tch. And it's not a sex thing... trust me on that. It just so happens that her feelings for him have begun to resurface. I feel like I would be being selfish if I got mad over the fact that she wants to give him another chance before she makes a huge decision like who she wants to spend her life with.
I don't know... I guess the only thing that doesn't make sense is the fact that she's pretty much guarunteed me that she's coming back. If she would just tell me she's not sure who she wants to be with, it would make more sense... but I don't see why she would spend this time with him if she doesn't think there's at least a chance she will stay with him. |
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