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| Topic: Ya gotta love 12 oclock flashers | |
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So I'm teaching this new customer, who is your stereotypical n00b in computers. He made the mistake of saying, "I thought you were a miracle worker". I responded immediately, "I am a miracle worker. I'm teaching you." He laughed his ass off and is still my customer.
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So I'm teaching this new customer, who is your stereotypical n00b in computers. He made the mistake of saying, "I thought you were a miracle worker". I responded immediately, "I am a miracle worker. I'm teaching you." He laughed his ass off and is still my customer. 
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Good one!
 I've had the "pleasure" of teaching a few of those myself! 
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Same customer: "I can't see any color on the screen"
"Can you make sure the cable for the big tv part is properly plugged in?" "Ah, that's the problem" "Hold on for a minute" So, I walk away, take a few breaths, and tell an employee of mine, "He's got the technology to scan a 3D topographical scan of an object, but he needs me to plug his monitor in" 
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So this latest invention of mine scans 3 dimensional surfaces, and in this case, it's a scan of a mold of a patient's foot. So my customer calls me and asks me what is wrong. He scanned the flat side of the cast and wondered why it was flat and looked like a left foot instead of a right.
"Turn the cast over and rescan"
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Hahahah, Every single day.
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Hahahah, Every single day. Except yesterday. I took a mental health day. Tonight, I discovered the customer has fat fingers. "Type control-f" "Control F or S?" "F as in f***head"... The word 'Find' should appear, enter 'spur'. "How do I get the cursor key down there?" "What?"... "Okay, it works for me... Ah, hold the control key down and tap the letter 'f'," "Now enter 'S-P-U-R',,, "F?" No, 's'... Believe it or not, the guy's learning something.
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