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Topic: i am not your ex . . .
TBRich's photo
Thu 03/26/09 10:03 AM

i understand the idea of not making the same mistakes twice, but why must you be compared to the last person someone was with? I.e. if they cheated then you are held accountable for their actions and deal with suspicions. it's irritating. i am not your ex and don't like being judged as such. has anyone else had to deal with this and how did they cope?


You're kidding, look at my face (well you probably can't really see it) do you know how many times I have been told I look like someone's first love, ex- husband, old boyfriend. Do you think its creepy going to a woman's bedroom and there is a picture of her and her ex and it looks just like me?

Duffy's photo
Thu 03/26/09 10:09 AM
yup. the x's behavior sets the precedence and standards by which the new love is judged.noway noway

TBRich's photo
Thu 03/26/09 10:10 AM

yup. the x's behavior sets the precedence and standards by which the new love is judged.noway noway


Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you messed up big time!

no photo
Thu 03/26/09 10:15 AM
We compare everything to everything might it be your last car, last home or last pants so why should it be different when it is people.

Even if we humans are all different we all have similitude and that is what we compare.

Duffy's photo
Thu 03/26/09 10:41 AM
TBR..u got it backwards sorry to say for a counselor.flowerforyou

greeneyedgirrl's photo
Thu 03/26/09 11:29 AM
I used to have to tell myself "he's not my ex" but the problem was I didn't take enough time out to get to what it was I was truly seeking so I ended up dating those guys who were EXACTLY like my ex. That's when you have to take time out for yourself, figure out what you are and aren't willing to settle for and go from there and just have the hope the same mistakes aren't made twice on either end.

PATSFAN's photo
Thu 03/26/09 11:35 AM
:wink: Stay single, stay safe:wink:

Rockmybobbysocks's photo
Thu 03/26/09 12:38 PM
LOL its called emotional baggage.

and that sucks rocks like nothin else !!!

i hated being compared to the last girl and so i told him "look... you keep gettin me confused with her so why don't you just go back to her? because i'm not her, i'll never do the stupid crap she did but you keep pining for that so good luck."

and i moved on.

thats life.

nomigetz's photo
Thu 03/26/09 04:32 PM
thank you all for the comments. i felt that this person is over their ex but that they aren't over the hurt of being cheated on and are overly sensitive and suspicious. i also feel that too truly move on in life that you have to break down walls and learn to trust people. i am ok with being cautious but no accusations! i have approached the person about this and they said they were having a bad moment. i don't know how to respond to that because i fear that this could be a pattern and could lead to an abusive situation. emotionally, i don't want to find myself explaining my outings and actions out of fear of losing something that really isn't there and it is just a control issue.

Cutiepieforyou's photo
Thu 03/26/09 04:35 PM

i understand the idea of not making the same mistakes twice, but why must you be compared to the last person someone was with? I.e. if they cheated then you are held accountable for their actions and deal with suspicions. it's irritating. i am not your ex and don't like being judged as such. has anyone else had to deal with this and how did they cope?

I actually had a hard time after my first relataionship ended. I was the one who did the comparing and looking back it was not fair. I think I needed time to grieve rather than jumping into another relationship. Hope this helps.

nomigetz's photo
Thu 03/26/09 04:43 PM
actually it does. thank you.




i understand the idea of not making the same mistakes twice, but why must you be compared to the last person someone was with? I.e. if they cheated then you are held accountable for their actions and deal with suspicions. it's irritating. i am not your ex and don't like being judged as such. has anyone else had to deal with this and how did they cope?

I actually had a hard time after my first relataionship ended. I was the one who did the comparing and looking back it was not fair. I think I needed time to grieve rather than jumping into another relationship. Hope this helps.

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