Don't you ever get tired of feeling like all people want is what they can GET from you? You have so much to give, on an emotional and personal level ~ but people seem to just want what you can do, give, or be for them!

How do you find the balance of giving AND receiving? I thought I figured it out, but am disappointed yet again! Am I writing checks I can't cash, or is it just good money after bad? Is there a pay-off at some point or do we just keep investing in things that have no possibility of a return?

When it comes to relationships these days, how do you keep from becoming emotionally bankrupt?

Don't give in and expect too much

Think about your own needs more.

TattooedDude - don't give in or don't expect to much?

Seems like it would be one or the other.....however, I do appreciate your insights!

If someone is all about what they can get from you, then they don't love you.....

Good advise ~ thank you. I'm not a martyr, but I am bad about that. I always think you get what you give, but have found that is not always the case.

Well I know personally for me, I don't expect much when or if I meet someone new in person. More times than none it's a bust, obvisouly since I'm single Alot of men and women play games and just want a piece of the pie and leave the rest. They don't care much

Thank you for the clarification ~ appreciate it! Just not into the games, so I guess I'm missing some of those clues. I tend to take people at face value, and although I "trust but verify" it takes time to really understand what a person is about...by then they are in a position to hurt you. Although Audie is right ~ loving someone is not about what you can get from them!

If you feel that people are always taking from you then stop giving. If you have a need to give and giving gives you pleasure then give and don't worry about what you are going to get back in return because more often than not it will be nothing.

Giving does give me pleasure, and I don't go into it asking what I will get out of it; My question is how do you find the balance between giving and receiving, because I want to believe that you can do both!

There is no real balance. People give because it is in their nature to give. People take for the same reason. The only way to break the cycle is for the givers to hang out with other givers and let the takers fend for themselves.

G
I
V
E

Get
It
Very
Easily

I think its stamped on my forehead

I've always been everybody else's problem-solver, but I was never allowed to have any problems of my own. People would vanish the moment I needed anything, regardless of how much I had done for them in the past.

I've just chalked it up to human nature, and will not be giving anyone the chance to do it again.

Just an opinion (taken from readings on the web, I cannot remember the source but it's not original to me)...

Give up on the broken popcorn machines. Relationships are kinda like a popcorn machine... you meet someone (the popcorn machine).. they are nice, they respond (you can see the popcorn machine making the popcorn thru the glass window of the machine)... you invest in them emotionally (you put your money in the popcorn machine, expecting it to spit out a box of popcorn)... yet no love and commitment come back to you that is fulfiling (no box of popcorn). You continue to invest your time and emotions (you put more money into the popcorn machine)... same result (no popcorn).

That particular popcorn machine is "broken"... find another one...

I found that analogy on the web, and I hold on to it so I can remember both, don't invest in relationships that are "broken" - and from the other side, don't lead someone on if you don't intent to give away your "popcorn"!!

Sorry this has happened to you, I wish you the best of luck!

I think there are givers, and there are takers. Everyone at some point or another is either. But the basic personality never changes. It's in my nature to give and give and give to people I care about, the rest can take a flying leap.
If it's a good relationship you find that balance between the two people. If you're with someone who gives nothing back to you, why in the world would you stay there? And if you find yourself repeating the same relationship mistake over and over it's time to figure out why. Just my two cents

It really is quite simple. Do not invest more than you can afford to lose.

If you feel as though you are emotionally bankrupt or worry that will happen, that is a boundary issue. stop giving so much, and live by the Golden Rule.... but you must keep yourself YOU. Don't give away who you are or lose yourself. Be true to you and have standards and expectations. If you start a relationship by giving, you will be a giver always, and that person will be a taker. Stop giving so much. There must be a balance....of both give and take.

What do you think you are worth?

Thank you all for your advise ~ it is appreciated! I particularly like the popcorn machine analogy!

I will never give myself away or lose myself, but I never want to be so guarded that I can't give either. That's part of the struggle for me, I suppose. I do give, it is my nature. I try to be careful about throwing my "pearls before swine," so to speak, but do get tired of the struggle sometimes. I've taken a stand with a sibling that takes and takes, leaving a path of destruction in his wake if you let him; and a guy that always needed propped up but was emotionally unavailable when I was struggling.

Problem is, when you first start "investing" in someone, those traits aren't always evident! We ALL miss those signs sometimes! That said, I would still rather risk the hurt than shut myself off to giving and loving freely...I just need to be wise about both, I guess. No more free popcorn!!!! LOL....

Dump the leach


or is it leech?

DON'T WRITE ANYMORE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE CHECKS...TO BANK OF WHATS HAPPNEING NOW.
SAY SPEAKING OF BAGGAGE, DO U KNOW THERE IS A COP ON THIS SITE ADVERTISING HIS BIG@@##$$%^&*() FOR WOMAN SO HE CAN HAVE A FUN NIGHT IN REDDING....HE IS IN LAW ENFORCEMENT HE SAYS AND MARRIED...IS THIS GROOVEY OR WHAT?