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Topic: problem... HELP
no photo
Sun 07/05/09 11:07 PM
here's my two cents- if he's not answering your emails or whatever, he's probably over it and there's not much you can do about it. lots of guys freak when they find out a woman lives at home, usually because he's trying to find a home himself, and he knows mom certainly won't let him move in.

what i don't get about this whole concept of "immaturity because you live at home" is, why is it bad to live with other people, because they're relatives, but it's okay to live with a bf/husband or whatever? why does living with someone with whom you have a sexual relationship considered mature but living with parents is bad? you can't even say you're more responsible because you pay your own bills, because what if you're a stay at home mom or your husband just doesn't want you to work? i had a friend who had a job that literally only paid enough to put gas in her car, and her bf paid all the bills but she was considered "mature" by society. i don't get it.

back to the guy, screw him. your mom wasn't going to shoot him just cause you met him on the net, in fact he never even had to meet her. was she going to escort you to the car? doubtful. he needs to grow up. good luck next time.flowerforyou

Winx's photo
Sun 07/05/09 11:10 PM

here's my two cents- if he's not answering your emails or whatever, he's probably over it and there's not much you can do about it. lots of guys freak when they find out a woman lives at home, usually because he's trying to find a home himself, and he knows mom certainly won't let him move in.

what i don't get about this whole concept of "immaturity because you live at home" is, why is it bad to live with other people, because they're relatives, but it's okay to live with a bf/husband or whatever? why does living with someone with whom you have a sexual relationship considered mature but living with parents is bad? you can't even say you're more responsible because you pay your own bills, because what if you're a stay at home mom or your husband just doesn't want you to work? i had a friend who had a job that literally only paid enough to put gas in her car, and her bf paid all the bills but she was considered "mature" by society. i don't get it.

back to the guy, screw him. your mom wasn't going to shoot him just cause you met him on the net, in fact he never even had to meet her. was she going to escort you to the car? doubtful. he needs to grow up. good luck next time.flowerforyou


drinker

yellowrose10's photo
Sun 07/05/09 11:11 PM
I know I missed some of the post...but who said the OP was immature???what

no photo
Sun 07/05/09 11:50 PM
Edited by Moblodite on Mon 07/06/09 12:01 AM
I'm going out on a small limb here,

Ok, I looked at the op's profile.. Has children.
and as stated.. lives with Mom.
My next question would be.. Do you work a full time job?
next.. Just one child? or are there more?
who watches the kid(s) while you work, go out to socialize or dating?

I think your Mom took on one hell of a load allowing you and your Kid(s) to move back in with her, so I think her opinion is important in this situation. and she deserves a great deal or respect.

With that being said..

Wherever a man meets a woman, starting a relationship is hard. making it last.. even harder.

now lets imagine a young man trying to hook up with such a young lady with kid(s). there is a hell of a lot to consider when thinking about actually meeting and maybe starting a relationship !!
I seriously doubt that you living with your Mom has anything to do with it.

I think we only got a very small segment of the story in the OP. so how can anyone give reasonable advice?

However.. as far as your Mom, date a guy a few times, if it actually gets serious, then allow your Mom to meet him, see what she thinks of him then.
Makes no difference where you met him, but it might be a good idea to keep it to yourself for a long while that you met him online.
If you know she wont approve.. why rub her nose in it?



MirrorMirror's photo
Sun 07/05/09 11:55 PM

Well, let's see... I have been talking to this guy, let's call him Bob, and I really feel like this could work. He is a few years older than me and lives on his own. I on the other hand still live with my mom, who by the way still tries to control my life even though I am 22. Ok so here's the problem... My mom hates the way I "met" him (mingle2) and I know she is going to have a fit when I want to actually see him. I told him all this because honesty is key. Now I believe he wants to just forget the whole thing. What should I do? Please give what advice you can I would appreciate it. I really like this guy so far. :(



:smile: You shouldnt have told him and you need to have a discussion with your mom about how she controls your life:smile:

iheartyew's photo
Mon 07/06/09 08:02 AM
A lot of people are saying move out. I'm a single mom working full time and I'm barely making ends meets. I'm not going to drown in finances just so some guy will consider seeing me.

Moblodite, he does have 1 kid but doesn't live at home. I also have just 1 kid. And my mom keeps her while I'm working and if I go out.

Fearandloathing, if you read the whole thread you would see that he isn't answering my messages. So now what?

Winx's photo
Mon 07/06/09 08:05 AM

A lot of people are saying move out. I'm a single mom working full time and I'm barely making ends meets. I'm not going to drown in finances just so some guy will consider seeing me.

Moblodite, he does have 1 kid but doesn't live at home. I also have just 1 kid. And my mom keeps her while I'm working and if I go out.

Fearandloathing, if you read the whole thread you would see that he isn't answering my messages. So now what?


I like what Calleigh said, "screw him. your mom wasn't going to shoot him just cause you met him on the net, in fact he never even had to meet her. was she going to escort you to the car? doubtful. he needs to grow up. good luck next time."



DamnPhule's photo
Mon 07/06/09 08:21 AM
I haven't read the whole thread and I'm not a parent but maybe it is just genuine concern on your mothers part. Consider this, with the amount of news that we here about some of the disasterous or tragic dates that take place over this or any other site, I would think that your parent is worried about it ... a different time and mind set have to be considered too. This fella that your chatting with may have reasons of his own for not answering back ... whatever they are, be it honour or trechery ... they are his reasons.

Move on ... use good judgment, your a smart girl ... your mom saw to that.

Phulishly Yours

s1owhand's photo
Mon 07/06/09 08:37 AM

A lot of people are saying move out. I'm a single mom working full time and I'm barely making ends meets. I'm not going to drown in finances just so some guy will consider seeing me.

Moblodite, he does have 1 kid but doesn't live at home. I also have just 1 kid. And my mom keeps her while I'm working and if I go out.

Fearandloathing, if you read the whole thread you would see that he isn't answering my messages. So now what?


you shouldn't have to move out to see someone. if he is scared
of momma then i'd say that saves you from wasting your time.
let him go...you aren't missing anything i don't think.

it's not you. it's him.

NEXT!!!

good luck in your continued search.

flowerforyou

yellowrose10's photo
Mon 07/06/09 08:43 AM

A lot of people are saying move out. I'm a single mom working full time and I'm barely making ends meets. I'm not going to drown in finances just so some guy will consider seeing me.

Moblodite, he does have 1 kid but doesn't live at home. I also have just 1 kid. And my mom keeps her while I'm working and if I go out.

Fearandloathing, if you read the whole thread you would see that he isn't answering my messages. So now what?


I'm not saying move out I was a single mom until my son was 3. I know it's not easy. what I am saying is that since you are living at home...your mom IMO has a right to have her say in her house....whether it's good or bad.

can you not see the guys point of view though?

no photo
Mon 07/06/09 10:12 AM

A lot of people are saying move out. I'm a single mom working full time and I'm barely making ends meets. I'm not going to drown in finances just so some guy will consider seeing me.

Moblodite, he does have 1 kid but doesn't live at home. I also have just 1 kid. And my mom keeps her while I'm working and if I go out.

Fearandloathing, if you read the whole thread you would see that he isn't answering my messages. So now what?

I hope thats not all you got from what I wrote above.

Yellowrose:flowers

yellowrose10's photo
Mon 07/06/09 10:17 AM
Moblodite....hey sunshine flowerforyou

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