It could be they are having some personal struggles they are dealing with, feelings are not mutual or they are interested in trying to pursue someone else that caught their eye.

it is always about me!

Sometimes ( not always ) they lose interest because of reasons that have nothing to do with you.

And it really is about them, even if it doesn't feel that way.

I think when relationships fail, we feel like there is something we could have done differently, even though we didn't do anything wrong. It's still not a good feeling, but nobody said life was fair. Sometimes you just have to take your lumps and move on.

I feel its any easy way out of a relationship, Because the one who says "its me not you" is not going to feel guilty about what they said.

You're giving me the it's not you it's me routine???? I invented it's not you it's me....if it's anyone it's me...

ok George it's you.....you're damn right it is.

But seriously I don't know, to spare people's feelings or give them little to no hope of getting back together....at least on the person who got dumped terms....how could you fix another person's problem. It's a ******** thing, but it happens every day just like a new born baby.

because it leaves no way for you to "answer back" or make a counter point.

if they said "im not that into you" you would say, "But, why?"... If they say "after the past couple of months I found you to be a real *******"... you would say "no I'm not", or "I was having a bad day"...

if they say, "it's not you, it's me"... what is left for you to say? It's a debating technique... or manipulation -- however you want to look at it...

I also agree, perhaps they are being honest... "I don't like you as much as I thought I did" is a bit harsh...

At least it's not an abusive statement!

Yeah they don't know what they want, and or how to be true to themselfs about what they want so there def not going to be true to the person they are trying to leave. it's called "fake people".

Just out of curiosity, in the 2 or 3 weeks leading up to the breakup, did the person do something rude, or make it apparent that they were not taking you into consideration when they did something.

I only ask, because that is also a common way to dump someone - put the onus on the other person. Almost daring the person to call them on their rude behavior and do the breaking up for them.

Typical coward's way out.

it's not you


it's not me


it's the person over there ------>

"it's not you, it's me."

this is a cop out. a politely less harsh twist on words way of making it appear it is not your fault by the sayer of such words.

what they won't say is the truth behind this less than nonthreatening verbaliztion.

which really, actually, boils down to this underlying meaning;

I want a divorce?

what?!

why?!


"I want to be with someone else. i dont feel your love anymore. there is nothing we could do that would make me as happy as starting over fresh with someone who feels like they want me. And so because i want to be happy i dont want to crush you by saying it is your fault when it is your fault that i dont find you attractive anymore for whatever reasons that got us here, i am not happy being with you but i can't tell you that because i am going to hurt you enough as it is. sorry about this. let me add the extra sympathetic layer.. you will find someone else who will make you happier.. now the codescending additional layer.. Truuust! Meeee!"


I could go but you get the point. it is never ones fault in a relationship. it takes two to love. but only one to hate.