I am a female in my 4th year of college. My boyfriend and I went to high school together, but just started getting to know each other and dating a few months ago. Recently he confessed to me that he had a crush on one of my best friends way back in 9th grade of high school, before we even knew each other. They never dated and she had already told me about it, so I didn't think much of it- it was years ago. But then he told me that right before we got together, he still liked her and was thinking about trying to date her. He never went through with it because she had a boyfriend, and then the two of us started dating. I asked him how he feels about her now that we are together and he wouldn't answer. He said that the answer doesn't matter cause it has nothing to do with our relationship. But I think it does.

I can't help but think that he would prefer to be with her over me. The 3 of us hang out together a lot, but now that I know this, I think its going to be really awkward and hard for me when we are together.

How should I react? Does it really matter? Should I let this one go?

please help.. .

Yes,

it does have something to with your relationship. He is wrong.

He needs to answer your question without hesitation or something is

up.

if what your saying is true...he TOTALLY wants your friend.

he wants a threesome

That was a good guess,

this answer might be right too

to me this is going to lead to a trust issue and if you don't have trust a relationship will not last ..either he wants to date you or your friend he can't want both are his feelings are not true for either of you ....how does your bestfriend feel about this ....i don't get why he would even tell you if he says it has nothing to do with you and him than he should have kept it to himself ...

You know you are gonna blow it, right?
The question you should be asking is : How do YOU feel about him?
The could of's, should of's, what if's are going to haunt you forever if you do not learn to let go of this obsession you have with the thought of him and your BF.

Do YOU want to continue a relationship with him? Does the time you spend together make you happy?
If not, then amputate this man from your life.
If you think you cannot get past this issue, move on.
Ultimately, the decision should be YOURS.
You are in control of your life, act accordingly.

Your boyfriend is a dumbazz.

I wouldn't presume to make a judgement or give someone advice based on that little bit of information

Yeah,


Wouldnt even be hanging out with the two together again for sure.

And, if he cant communicate freely about something like that, there is an issue.

Robin... c'mon, You can at least tell her BF is either a dumbazz or wants her to break it off with him or both.

If thats the only problem in your life your lucky, wait until you get real hard life then this will seem like a walk in the park.

I am not sure perhaps he may feel that in such an answer there is the posibility of losing you of bringing undue drama to an already tense situation. Or could it be that he himself is unsure of what it is that he wants. or could it be that he wants both and doesn't know how to say that

I don't know if I would present this question to a handful of single people on a dating site myself...but since you did suppose I will answer.

If he is still "crushing" on her, then it should be talked about. If he isn't, then it really doesn't need to be talked about. Situations are only as awkward as you make them...although his reluctance of talking about it seems to point that he is still attracted to her and probably "crushing" on her. I've always found when I threaten someone with a blade that is no less than 6 inches long I tend to get answers...and this is why no one asks me about social situations...

In life if you dont put the booty out then he goes elsewhere, its simple biology so perhaps its not so much him, the hardset thing in life is owning up to your own short falls. I know that as I have many hence single, hence no woman in her right mind needs me in her life. So learn to love you and find yourself.

op: this situation seems dangerous (emotionally) for you... I hope he is not with you, to be close to her...

my crystal ball says "noone is going to win in this one"... meaning, if you cannot communicate in a real way about the situation - you will be hurt loosing him, and he will be hurt loosing both of you...

your best friend (the female) - should make it clear what her intentions are... and let your BF know, there is no chance and it's not healthy for him to want what he cannot have...

young or old, this is a difficult emotional situation - I wish you the best of luck as you navigate these waters!!!...

Rare for a guy to stray, I found that the S word given daily was rather nice, then went to once a month, then once every seven months, I think we chaps are easy to please but when rules change guys are last to know about it.

No sure why women play about wi rules as it results in cheating as they get it elsewhere, hence your power is reduced.

So stop playing games wi guys and be you. If you dont the results will replicate into your next failed relationship.

Oh, right...cause all of us just want sex anyway...

I find it helps unless you have a problem with S Life, and if you do then perhaps thats not for this forum.

First off, is the other girl still in a relationship? If no, then here's my thoughts: I recently was seeing a guy. I didn't know him too well, but we went on a few dates, hung out at each others' places, did a lot of texting...he was a great guy. But what I didn't know was that he still had feelings for another girl I never knew. She had just gotten out of a relationship, and they started talking. Before I knew it, he told me he liked me, but he's been wanting to date this girl for a very long time.

So what am I trying to say here? There are times when someone falls into the "what would" category. "What would my life be like if I dated this person?" "What would happen if I pass up this opportunity to date this person now that they are single?" A relationship can not be solid if your partner has questions like this. If your boyfriend really cared about you, he would happily say he's with the one he wants. I do hope things get resolved.