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Topic: i keep trying but ...
stevil342001's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:05 PM
i been in a relationship on and off for almost 2 years .. and i am convinced if it didn't work then i wont work now..but i seem to be the type of person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings.. and the last time we broke up it was a very nasty situation .. i know its not going to work ..and soon i have to tell her its over..any suggestions?? without hurting her ??

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:10 PM
Sit her down. Tell her it's not working and it's not going to work.

Then quit going back for booty calls.

no photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:15 PM


..Just be honest..and if that doesn't work..tell her you're gay while wearing a dress and high heels...:laughing:

MelodyGirl's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:17 PM

i been in a relationship on and off for almost 2 years .. and i am convinced if it didn't work then i wont work now..but i seem to be the type of person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings.. and the last time we broke up it was a very nasty situation .. i know its not going to work ..and soon i have to tell her its over..any suggestions?? without hurting her ??


What I am hearing is:

- You like the drama
- You are OK with putting other people’s happiness in front of yours because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Is she willing to do the same?

Man up! Stop the roller coaster ride and take responsibility for your life and happiness. The more you waste your time on a bad situation – the longer you will NOT find happiness even if that means being single.

Break it off for good and reinvent yourself. It sounds like you got lost in this person and you don’t have a sense of “self” anymore.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. slaphead frustrated

Good luck :thumbsup:

ledi180's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:18 PM
Reality is that you ARE going to hurt her but you can do it respectfully and carefully. As stated, sit her down and calmly explain how it is and why. Hopefully if you stay calm - she'll stay calm. It's not easy but it's necessary. Then don't call, write, text, etc etc. Make a clean break.

stevil342001's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:20 PM

Reality is that you ARE going to hurt her but you can do it respectfully and carefully. As stated, sit her down and calmly explain how it is and why. Hopefully if you stay calm - she'll stay calm. It's not easy but it's necessary. Then don't call, write, text, etc etc. Make a clean break.

thanks you that's the most respectful suggestion i have heard so far

stevil342001's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:27 PM


i been in a relationship on and off for almost 2 years .. and i am convinced if it didn't work then i wont work now..but i seem to be the type of person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings.. and the last time we broke up it was a very nasty situation .. i know its not going to work ..and soon i have to tell her its over..any suggestions?? without hurting her ??


What I am hearing is:

- You like the drama
- You are OK with putting other people’s happiness in front of yours because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Is she willing to do the same?

Man up! Stop the roller coaster ride and take responsibility for your life and happiness. The more you waste your time on a bad situation – the longer you will NOT find happiness even if that means being single.


i hate drama but i am a good person it has nothing to do with manning up what it has to do with

Break it off for good and reinvent yourself. It sounds like you got lost in this person and you don’t have a sense of “self” anymore.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. slaphead frustrated

Good luck :thumbsup:



it has nothing to do with manning up..i dont need someone in my life to make my life complete what am conspired about is her 11 year old daughter it has nothing to do with drama i HATE DRAMA

misswright's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:29 PM
Stop procrastinating. You can't avoid her being hurt, you can't control her feelings, so might as well just get it over with if you know you want out. It isn't going to get any easier, for any of you. Be honest, be nice, and then be gone for good.

Goofball73's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:31 PM
Grow a sac! That is all!

willing2's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:50 PM
It's tough to give up a guaranteed piece-o-tail.
Don't let go until you have a new vine to grab hold of.:laughing: slaphead

Gossipmpm's photo
Mon 01/25/10 05:54 PM
You might hurt her

You might even hurt a little yourself

But think....................

If it has to be done

do it!!!

The hurt wont last forever:heart:

MelodyGirl's photo
Mon 01/25/10 06:16 PM
Edited by MelodyGirl on Mon 01/25/10 06:20 PM



i been in a relationship on and off for almost 2 years .. and i am convinced if it didn't work then i wont work now..but i seem to be the type of person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings.. and the last time we broke up it was a very nasty situation .. i know its not going to work ..and soon i have to tell her its over..any suggestions?? without hurting her ??


What I am hearing is:

- You like the drama
- You are OK with putting other people’s happiness in front of yours because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Is she willing to do the same?

Man up! Stop the roller coaster ride and take responsibility for your life and happiness. The more you waste your time on a bad situation – the longer you will NOT find happiness even if that means being single.


i hate drama but i am a good person it has nothing to do with manning up what it has to do with

Break it off for good and reinvent yourself. It sounds like you got lost in this person and you don’t have a sense of “self” anymore.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. slaphead frustrated

Good luck :thumbsup:



it has nothing to do with manning up..i dont need someone in my life to make my life complete what am conspired about is her 11 year old daughter it has nothing to do with drama i HATE DRAMA


You are "conspired" (plotting or scheming) or "concerned" (anxious or troubled) for her child? These are two diametrically different words for the syntax of your statement.

You say you hate drama but your actions speak volumes. Consider that your unhealthy relationship is having a negative effect on the child.

You asked for advice but yet you minimize your actions and reactions.

I have a feeling you will keep repeating the cycle and continue to complain.

No one can save you from yourself but you. If you don't handle this well, you will carry a lot of baggage to your next relationship.

Seriously, good luck. My comments are meant to help you; not put you down. flowerforyou

dnc4Him's photo
Mon 01/25/10 07:04 PM
Just keep in mind that the longer you wait the harder it will be for all concerned. Maybe that will help nudge you forward when your caring heart is holding you back.

no photo
Mon 01/25/10 07:35 PM


i been in a relationship on and off for almost 2 years .. and i am convinced if it didn't work then i wont work now..but i seem to be the type of person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings.. and the last time we broke up it was a very nasty situation .. i know its not going to work ..and soon i have to tell her its over..any suggestions?? without hurting her ??


What I am hearing is:

- You like the drama
- You are OK with putting other people’s happiness in front of yours because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Is she willing to do the same?

Man up! Stop the roller coaster ride and take responsibility for your life and happiness. The more you waste your time on a bad situation – the longer you will NOT find happiness even if that means being single.

Break it off for good and reinvent yourself. It sounds like you got lost in this person and you don’t have a sense of “self” anymore.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. slaphead frustrated

Good luck :thumbsup:



:thumbsup:

willing2's photo
Mon 01/25/10 07:39 PM
Edited by willing2 on Mon 01/25/10 07:40 PM



i been in a relationship on and off for almost 2 years .. and i am convinced if it didn't work then i wont work now..but i seem to be the type of person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings.. and the last time we broke up it was a very nasty situation .. i know its not going to work ..and soon i have to tell her its over..any suggestions?? without hurting her ??


What I am hearing is:

- You like the drama
- You are OK with putting other people’s happiness in front of yours because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Is she willing to do the same?

Man up! Stop the roller coaster ride and take responsibility for your life and happiness. The more you waste your time on a bad situation – the longer you will NOT find happiness even if that means being single.

Break it off for good and reinvent yourself. It sounds like you got lost in this person and you don’t have a sense of “self” anymore.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. slaphead frustrated

Good luck :thumbsup:



:thumbsup:

Is he insane if he's crazy about that stuff?shades

no photo
Mon 01/25/10 07:41 PM
Edited by Calleigh12 on Mon 01/25/10 07:42 PM
If I found out my bf was staying with me just to "not hurt my feelings" I'd be insulted. A pity relationship? No thanks. I suggest you take the advice the others have given you and end it- immediately. I assume your gf is an adult, therefore, she's been dumped before, if she keeps dating, she'll be dumped again.

As for her child, I'm sure the mother can explain why you left to the child, in whatever language she deems acceptable, and since children are a hell of a lot more resilient and intelligent than we give them credit for, she won't fall to pieces simply because you're no longer in her life.

Life's a journey, good luck.drinker

soufiehere's photo
Mon 01/25/10 07:57 PM

i been in a relationship on and off for almost 2 years .. and i am convinced if it didn't work then i wont work now..but i seem to be the type of person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings.. and the last time we broke up it was a very nasty situation .. i know its not going to work ..and soon i have to tell her its over..any suggestions?? without hurting her ??


You have been bouncing over this for two years.
I think she has a clue.

You could take her out for chocolate.
In any form. See's Candies kinda thingy.
Calmly explain it as you walk out.
Leave the chocolate with her.

Chocolate withdrawals can take up to 2 weeks.
I would lay low.


willing2's photo
Mon 01/25/10 08:04 PM


i been in a relationship on and off for almost 2 years .. and i am convinced if it didn't work then i wont work now..but i seem to be the type of person who doesn't want to hurt peoples feelings.. and the last time we broke up it was a very nasty situation .. i know its not going to work ..and soon i have to tell her its over..any suggestions?? without hurting her ??


You have been bouncing over this for two years.
I think she has a clue.

You could take her out for chocolate.
In any form. See's Candies kinda thingy.
Calmly explain it as you walk out.
Leave the chocolate with her.

Chocolate withdrawals can take up to 2 weeks.
I would lay low.




You said it!!:thumbsup:

Goofball73's photo
Mon 01/25/10 08:28 PM
See. This is what happens when you get neutered by a chick.:tongue: laugh

stevil342001's photo
Mon 01/25/10 09:03 PM
thanks to all of you even thought i didn't agree with you all but i did brake it off.. your advice helped me it gave me the boost i needed thanks!!!!!!!!!!

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