Little Johnny was in the classroom on a Friday afternoon, and the Teacher had a game for the kids. Okay class. Now I'm going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have Monday off," said the teacher.

"To be, or not to be. That is the question," ...said the teacher.

Little Din Don Chow at the front of the class called out .........."Shakespeare!"

Well done!" said the teacher. "You can have Monday off."

No thank you miss. I am of Vietnamese origin and it is in our culture to study as hard as we can, so I will be in here on Monday studying hard", said little Din Don Chow.

Okay," said the teacher. The next quote is....."I HAD A DREAM!"

Little Fri Som Kat also at the front yelled out "Martin Luther King!"

Well done!" said the teacher. "You can have Monday off."

No thank you miss. I am of Chinese origin and we also don't take time off school. Education is everything to us, so I will be in on Monday studying hard too, "said little Fri Som Kat.

Okay," said the teacher. Then she heard a voice from the back of the classroom..............."F*cking Asians".

"Who said that?" yelled the teacher in an angry tone.

Pauline Hanson!" yelled little Johnny....."See ya Tuesday"

A "Little Johnny" story,

Johnny gets up and goes to school, passes his mailbox on the way and you see the name on the mailbox "Godeeper"

Johnny gets to school and the principals daughters see him and runs at him trying to get a kiss, he turns and stops her "not happening"

Johnny was a mischevious boy so he got into some trouble and the principals daughter sees this happening, she walks up to him and says "Johnny if you don't take me home with you after school I'm going to tell my daddy." Johnny says "fine."

They get back to his house after school and she says "Johnny I want to see your room" He replies "But I'll get into trouble!" she returns with "But I'm going to tell my daddy!" "Fine..." says Johnny

They retire to his room and she sits on the bed and says "Now take off all of your clothes" Johnny says "No" rebuttle from the girl being, "But, I'm going to tell my daddy!" "Fine." exclaims Johnny.

She says "Now **** me!" He yelps "No!" as she rebuttles once again" But I'm going to tell my daddy" he gives in easily "fine..."


Johnnys parents return home and go up to check on Johnny. They walk into his room and see the act as the father yells out "JOHNNY RICHARD GODEEPER!" Johnny replies in an agonizing yelp "I'm trying daddy I'm trying!"

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. "Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane..."

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the
rigs."

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"


How true is that!!

One night, Little Johnny went to sleep and dreamt his Uncle Bill died. He woke up and that evening, his dad got a call saying that Uncle Bill died.

The next night, Little Johnny went to sleep and dreamt his Aunt Joy died. He woke up, and then that evening, his dad got a call saying that Aunt Joy died. He told his daddy, "Two days ago, I had a dream Uncle Bill died, and then yesterday, I had a dream Aunt Joy died.

His dad said, "that's just a coincidence."

The next morning he tells his dad, "I had a dream that my dad died."

His dad was terrified. He had the worst day at work and took every precaution. He didn't eat any of the food in case of food poisoning, and he drove slowly in case of a car wreck. When he finally got home, Little Johnny's mom asks him how his day at work was. "Much more horrible than your day I'm sure," his dad replied.

"I don't know," said his mom, "The milkman dropped dead on the front porch today!

A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Little Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.

After seeing this, the teacher asked him: "Johnny, how many times have you see a red duck?"

Little Johnny replied, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.

"Great," Little Johnny replied.

"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.

"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"

i rly hope that's my kid one day...