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| Topic: Stupid fights | |
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I need some help here. My gf gets mad at me and ignores me over stupid little things and I am not sure what to do. Here is an example. I get home from work and we eat dinner. I am acting a little goofy and decide to put the bow I got from a present a student gave me on my head. Just as a joke to make her laugh. Her birthday is next week and she mentioned before that she wanted me as a present with a bow so it was kind of joke. She laughed and wanted to take a picture. I said it wasn't her birthday and put the bow in the closet. Now she is all pissed and ignoring me.
I proceeded to do the dishes and even was taPliny to her rubbing her shoulders for 30 minutes and she kept ignoring me. Finally I ask her about it and her reaction is like I want it now. Am I dating A 5 year old or a 25 year old? |
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Honestly, You are in trouble, it is only going to get worse, the more you try to make it OK the worse whe will be, and if you give in to here and do what she wants to keep the peace, you are in even bigger trouble..
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So what exactly is a guy to do? Did I do anything actually wrong in the first place?
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LOL...is she by chance Bi-Polar? That is what my ex-wife is and when she is not on the meds that is what it starts out like...then it only gets worse...lol. Otherwise I would guess that it was not about the bow but something else, maybe you reminded her of an ex that she does not like that use to do something like that. Either way all I can say is Good Luck...
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So what exactly is a guy to do? Did I do anything actually wrong in the first place? Hmmm how about something like, " Look Honey i love you, but I dont deserve to be treated like this.." and no i cant see that you did anything wrong, for gosh sakes you dont want to spend your life walking on eggshells around your partner for the rest of your life. Believe me it is not fun. |
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Nor can I see how you did anything wrong. Maybe she felt like you were teasing her about not being able to have her present til next week? Either way, being 25 years old, she shouldn't be throwing temper tantrums in the form of the cold shoulder. It seems unnecessary to act so childish when you're both adults.
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Well 4 hours later and I am still getting the cold shoulder. I event went out for a couple of hours and she could have cared less even though I messages her. I am hoping she grows out of this. We are currently in Japan and moving to the US. She is Korean btw. Anyway if this is some way of dealing with stress from something else maybe I can understand. I can't live with it forever and we have talked about this kind of thing before.
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Agreed. I don't see that you did anything wrong. If she gets that worked up over something so trivial, then the relationship may not be worth it. I'd talk to her about it though before you bail out. Ask her why little things bother her so much. If she has no reason or no good reason, then move on. Chances are its gonna get worse. Good luck. Sounds like youa re a good catch. If shes not the right one then some other girl is gonna get lucky.
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I need some help here. My gf gets mad at me and ignores me over stupid little things and I am not sure what to do. Here is an example. I get home from work and we eat dinner. I am acting a little goofy and decide to put the bow I got from a present a student gave me on my head. Just as a joke to make her laugh. Her birthday is next week and she mentioned before that she wanted me as a present with a bow so it was kind of joke. She laughed and wanted to take a picture. I said it wasn't her birthday and put the bow in the closet. Now she is all pissed and ignoring me. I proceeded to do the dishes and even was taPliny to her rubbing her shoulders for 30 minutes and she kept ignoring me. Finally I ask her about it and her reaction is like I want it now. Am I dating A 5 year old or a 25 year old? Like you said, it is trivial, so I hope you don't throw a relationship just because of it. Don't be so quick in giving up. Isn't that what we all hope for in a partner? When everything seems to be going down the drain, one should not give up. Let's not judge her right away for this situation. Maybe she has a lot in her mind, and this incident triggered her fuse. We all have our bad days, and we can only hope our partners are patient enough to understand us when it comes. Chaz, maybe she got hurt when you denied her the simple joy of keeping that moment by taking a picture of you. Some people are really sentimental with things like that. I know you have tried placating her, so just let it go. Give her the space she needs to think things over and cool her head. Like you said, it's a stupid and trivial thing. Try to remember this and just laugh about it. You love her, she loves you. That's what is important. :) |
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I need some help here. My gf gets mad at me and ignores me over stupid little things and I am not sure what to do. Here is an example. I get home from work and we eat dinner. I am acting a little goofy and decide to put the bow I got from a present a student gave me on my head. Just as a joke to make her laugh. Her birthday is next week and she mentioned before that she wanted me as a present with a bow so it was kind of joke. She laughed and wanted to take a picture. I said it wasn't her birthday and put the bow in the closet. Now she is all pissed and ignoring me. I proceeded to do the dishes and even was taPliny to her rubbing her shoulders for 30 minutes and she kept ignoring me. Finally I ask her about it and her reaction is like I want it now. Am I dating A 5 year old or a 25 year old? Like you said, it is trivial, so I hope you don't throw a relationship just because of it. Don't be so quick in giving up. Isn't that what we all hope for in a partner? When everything seems to be going down the drain, one should not give up. Let's not judge her right away for this situation. Maybe she has a lot in her mind, and this incident triggered her fuse. We all have our bad days, and we can only hope our partners are patient enough to understand us when it comes. Chaz, maybe she got hurt when you denied her the simple joy of keeping that moment by taking a picture of you. Some people are really sentimental with things like that. I know you have tried placating her, so just let it go. Give her the space she needs to think things over and cool her head. Like you said, it's a stupid and trivial thing. Try to remember this and just laugh about it. You love her, she loves you. That's what is important. :) I think that men in general just need to know that there is a HUGE difference in how men and women react. We see something broken, it's our nature to fix it quickly and save the day. Women on the other hand, well, they sometimes don't want it fixed right then. They need to think about it for a while. |
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Well 4 hours later and I am still getting the cold shoulder. I event went out for a couple of hours and she could have cared less even though I messages her. I am hoping she grows out of this. We are currently in Japan and moving to the US. She is Korean btw. Anyway if this is some way of dealing with stress from something else maybe I can understand. I can't live with it forever and we have talked about this kind of thing before. Has this behavior gotten worse as the time to move to the US gets closer? Could she be experiencing some anxiety over a life change and trying to force an end to the relationship? If you suspect this might be the case...the only way to deal with it is by direct questions... Do you have any hesitations about moving to the US? If you want to end our relationship don't do it by being mean to me lets talk about it? I've seen this so many times...did it myself to end my 10year marriage. Open, honest, everything on the table...sounds cliche but really whats the point otherwise...just gonna waste years of your life dancing around something that can't be fixed... my $0.02 worth |
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In no win situations, I feel it is best to do nothing.
You give in to her, she will feel right, and where will the giving in stop. You don't give in to her, she will still feel right, and be pissed that you didn't give her what she wanted. Either way you're in the dog house until her emotions calm down, which depends on how much it effected her. I say, drop the subject and go on like it's no big deal. Eventually, she will calm down about it... I would highly recommend pulling the bow out on her birthday though. That might just qwell the issue all together, but don't do it before then. Stand your ground. Hope it works out for you. |
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i also agree dont cow to her honestly i did with a past girlfriend and it got way out of hand in the end. lets say birthday presents early to start and befor you know it your wardrobe has been thrown out and replaced with cloths you wouldnt normaly wear and you have to wear them. you go to get you hair cut and she chooses the cut not you and you get a shopping list for birthdays and vallentines daybut all you get back is a card for you.
now im not saying ditch this girl but i am saying scttggry81 is on to a good one with his advice. i have a new girlfriend who is very similar i gave her 2 months of her way now we are havin me intervine, she hasnt noticed yet lol but i am slowly stoppin the her way or the highway rule. stick to your guns if you love her tell her but you cant let her walk all over you |
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Everybody here seems to be giving you some genuinely decent advice, so I really don't have to say anything.
I will say this...don't spoil her so much. Kissing her butt afterward just makes her see how much control she has over you. Next time you go out to give her some space, DO NOT TEXT HER. You make yourself seem needy. Wait till she texts you. If she doesn't text, confront the problem when you get back. How are you dealing in Japan right now? |
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I assume you mean the Earthquake. We felt it here but no damage.
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Buy her chocolate. Chocolate fixes everything. LOL Oh, buy the good kind, not the cheap stuff.
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Ok it exploded again. I tried to do the laundry for her today and she yells at me saying I am too slow. She says later we need to work it out but she won't apologize. She says we should apologize together. Said I didnt do anything wrong yet she still treated me like crap. Now she is pissed again and said she doesn't like my personality because though I take emharassing pictures and stuff for her I don't like to do it. Really? What a ***** right? So I do somerging for her I don't like doing and that makes me have a bad personality.
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Ok it exploded again. I tried to do the laundry for her today and she yells at me saying I am too slow. She says later we need to work it out but she won't apologize. She says we should apologize together. Said I didnt do anything wrong yet she still treated me like crap. Now she is pissed again and said she doesn't like my personality because though I take emharassing pictures and stuff for her I don't like to do it. Really? What a ***** right? So I do somerging for her I don't like doing and that makes me have a bad personality. Let me translate - she is not comfortable taking silly pictures, but she does for fun, You are not confortable taking silly pictures, but you shut her down and say no. Double standard, she is pissed because you aren't being fair. |
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No you misunderstood. I don't like her taking silly pictures of me but I let her do it. She doesn't want me to let her do it but enjoy doing it. For example. She doesn't want me to just do the dishes. She wants me to want to do the dishes.
Anyway issue resolved and make up sex insued. |
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These stupid little fights are usually never about the immediate issue. I would bet that she is harboring resentments over broader feelings of being mistreated in some way in a general way. Unfortunately, it is time to take a close look at the big picture of how the relationship works. The OP did nothong wrong in this instance, but probably needs a serious inventory of his attitudes throughout the relationship.
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