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| Topic: Never Say 'Walk it Off' | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Sun 08/14/11 11:56 PM
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I have a confession to make ladies I’m not much of a love maker.
I can do everything else for you open up doors, pull out chairs, and hold a conversation with the best of them. I can be everything you want me to me in a boy friend except a love maker. I’m not going to lay there and caress you, moving slow while listening to Kenny G’s greatest hits, kissing on you, crying with “love you NO I love you” that’s some punk azz sh it. Don’t get me wrong I’m gentlemen but when it comes to the bed room. I only know one speed BLOW YOUR BACK OUT SPEED. I was raised by a single mother and my mom is gangster so she didn’t raise know punk. With that said being a love maker isn’t in my blood I’m a fücker. But sometimes being a fücker can get you in a whole lot of trouble. Being a fücker can damn near be dangerous. One night I was blowing my ex girl friends back out. Well the lights where off and I accidentally put it in the wrong hole. Yes I accidentally put it in the pooper. Fella’s I’m not sure if you ever made that mistake but if you ever stuck it in pooper your girl will make noises that will haunt you for the rest of your life. I know my girl was in pain because she just lay there face down, azz up barking like a seal from Sea World. I panicked I mean I never heard her make a sound like that. I tried to come with the right words to make her feel better the only thing I could come up with is what my football coach use to tell me whenever I got the wind knocked out of me in practice. I told her “WALK IT OFF”. I said Walk it off sh it happens your tough right? Well she couldn’t even respond she was in pain and furious beyond words. I knew I was in trouble the next day. I was afraid she was going to beat my azz in my sleep so I slept on the couch that night. I knew she was going to get me back for the walk it off comment I just didn’t know when. There is nothing more scarier than the unknown. That’s the thing about women they don’t forget anything you say or do. They might not bring it up right then and there most of the time they just save it and use it against you when you really piss them off. Well I was know exception she was just sitting there waiting until I completely forgot about the situation. One thing my ex girl knew about me was I hate blood. I can handle seeing it I mean I played football but touching it and seeing it, smelling it makes me faint anytime I have to give blood I pass out. Two months go by and my girl invites me over her house. She emails me on Myspace saying she wants to get her back blown out. I’m excited because I have something to look forward to after work. So I get over there and she’s already in her room butt azz naked. I wasted know time I went straight to work one thing I noticed was that it pitch dark in her room. I mean she normally has the TV or her bathroom light on but she didn’t have on any lights on at all. I didn’t care I’m fücking the hell out of this girl and she was super, super wet. I’m thinking to myself damn she must have really been horny. Two hours go by and where both exhausted we just laid there. The next morning was a morning I’ll never forget. She was already gone she had to go to work the next morning. When I woke up it was fückin blood everywhere. This mother fücker was on her period and she didn’t say anything I was wondering why she was so wet. Blood was all over my face, all over my chest, my elbows, and my legs. I never screamed so loud in my life. I looked like Carey from Prom night. I got on the phone and called her azz. “WHY THE FÜCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WHERE ON YOUR PERIOD”?" She laughed and she said "It’s only a little blood Sharieff you’re a tough guy right? Walk it off!" and she hung up on me. I was so grossed out I sat in the shower just sat in corner crying like a baby trying to clean it off of me. It was everywhere. Well I couldn’t leave these bloody azz sheets on the bed so I carried them to trash can outside. She lived in a 98% rich white neighborhood when those white folks seen a 6’3 200 pound black guy coming out of a white girls house with bloody azz sheets. They where on their i phones in six point five seconds “Hello police I think we might have another OJ on are hands." The good news is Johnny Cochran is dead and from the looks of his car this's broke. My girl had to bail me out of jail due to the misunderstanding so fellas learn from my mistake. If you ever accidentally stick your girl in pooper “DO NOT TELL HER TO WALK IT OFF”. She will make you pay!!   
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Hahaha karma **** sucks that's a bloody situation.....literally!!!!
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