We’ve been hanging around the boards for months, reading and posting, deciding who we like, and accepting there’s some we just have nothing in common with. And of course, we’ve already put everybody in various categories such as, he’s handsome, she’s pretty, they’re intelligent, they’re sweet, they’re ornery, they’re quiet, they’re loud…

We’ve even allowed ourselves to admit there are sexy people too, you know the ones, that every time we see their profile picture next to their post, even if it’s not of their face, or we see their names as a post starter and we click on them just to see what they have to say, to see how they will stir up our excitement in that way only they can.

It’s a magnetism we just can’t help, because it comes from a deep primal attraction and an urge to just say “the heck with all our obvious differences” I’ve just got to taste that, even if it’s only by way of a feeling we get in that moment, like an adrenaline rush. And how much more intense does this infatuated feeling become when the subject of our fascination actually notices us?

Do we take this opportunity to put our cards on the table right then, fearing it may be quit some time before they come around to speak to us again?

Or do we play it cool, keeping our cards close to our vests, and wait to see if they come around again, which of course could indicate they have some interest in us, right?

We’ve been hanging around the boards for months, reading and posting, deciding who we like, and accepting there’s some we just have nothing in common with. And of course, we’ve already put everybody in various categories such as, he’s handsome, she’s pretty, they’re intelligent, they’re sweet, they’re ornery, they’re quiet, they’re loud…

We’ve even allowed ourselves to admit there are sexy people too, you know the ones, that every time we see their profile picture next to their post, even if it’s not of their face, or we see their names as a post starter and we click on them just to see what they have to say, to see how they will stir up our excitement in that way only they can.

It’s a magnetism we just can’t help, because it comes from a deep primal attraction and an urge to just say “the heck with all our obvious differences” I’ve just got to taste that, even if it’s only by way of a feeling we get in that moment, like an adrenaline rush. And how much more intense does this infatuated feeling become when the subject of our fascination actually notices us?

Do we take this opportunity to put our cards on the table right then, fearing it may be quit some time before they come around to speak to us again?

Or do we play it cool, keeping our cards close to our vests, and wait to see if they come around again, which of course could indicate they have some interest in us, right?

hi , i like u

True to the point

Athena, a lot of people just click on profiles out of nosiness and sometimes they merely misclick. I don't read anything into it if someone views my profile.

I think if there's someone on here that you like you should just message them. What do you really have to lose, or do you prefer to fantasise instead of just going for what you want?

Nowadays, I logoff and go do something else.

Though I've done all those things before... and might again;
I can't see "learning" about someone on the internet.
If I don't know them... I choose not to love them.

You're going to get a lot of different responses because everybody's situation is different.

Me? I'm like navygirl, whereas it isn't going to happen. My med situation is so messed up it precludes all else. I just have to come to terms with it.

I do agree with one of the respondents here...That we often a times misclick into someone's profile...Don't see anything wrong with veiwing my profile without saying 'hey',,,,

Well, I don't know what I want right now for one thing. All of this is new to me and I'm learning and enjoying the experience of interacting with some really cool people. Dating isn't even on my mind anymore, but I am attracted to some men I'd like to know better. I wouldn't expect everybody to understand the way I am, just as I don't understand the ways of others either. But, I am of the mind that we can learn from each others experiences. It's not a matter of fantasy vs. reality, it is a matter of upbringing and a code of conduct we've been trained since childhood to respect the boundaries of. Not everyone has the same values, standards, ethics, manners... not everyone is extroverts, there are introverts also... And we all have our own way of doing things. I'm sharing my way with all of you and asking you all to share yours with me. And I really do appreciate all who comment, because I enjoy getting to know you all as the family we are here on Mingle...

I understand your situation hippie, but you have a great chance for recovery right? Won't you be able to become more active at that point? And regardless to that, you can still socialize how you like on Mingle and even date in person if you took a notion, right? I thought I would get different answers and that's what I'd like to see, those who are different from me, becuz hopefully I can learn something new.

I know what you mean. It's just the case that a lot of women go on dating sites to chat instead of looking to meet somebody. I found that very frustrating when I first tried this a few years ago. And yes, there are people like yourself that don't really know what they want or let their values and standards prevent them from agreeing to meet people that contact them on dating sites. I don't really get it entirely. It's only a date; or if you don't want to hang that label on it it's "meeting for coffee" or whatever. You meet in a public place; you take sensible precautions; people do it all the time. Of course going on a date is exciting and people get their hopes up that it's the start of something but usually it doesn't lead to anything in my experience. The problem with dragging it out too long before actually dating is that it's even more disappointing when the date doesn't go well.

I'll give you an example: Before I even started going on the internet I tried the newspaper contact ads. You listened to recorded messages and if you liked the sound of someone you left them a message with your phone number. I spoke to quite a lot of women; some of them weren't interested in meeting me and some of them were. One woman refused to chat on the phone, saying that she just prefered to meet up and that date was just awful. We were completely incompatible. It wasn't fun at all but I hadn't got to know her before the date and I had no feelings for her whatsoever. Another woman and I did chat on the phone a lot and she seemed to be genuinely interested in me. She even phoned me one night asking me if I wanted her to come over. I didn't take her up on her offer because I had aranged a date with someone else the following night. The lady said to me that I shouldn't turn her offer of a night of passion down just to be honourable but I did anyway, even though she seemed more like my type than the one that I had the date with. Anyway, the date didn't go well and I eventually did meet the one that had offered to come over but in a restaurant. Well, by this time I had developed feelings for her and even though the date went badly I was rather heartbroken when she said after giving me a bunch of lame excuses as to why she didn't want to take it any further that meeting me had made her realise that she was still in love with somebody else and she was going to go back to him.

I'm sorry to say it but these dating sites are full of time wasters. I'm not saying that they deliberately mess people about but they do and after a while you become rather jaded and skeptical. Yes, I would chat online with someone for as long as it takes to get that date but the reason I'm on dating sites is that I want to meet someone and not to have a pretend girlfriend in virtual reality.

if there is really THAT much fascination, it is not a baseless attraction to a photo

but perhaps similar tastes or ways of phrasing - a rapport of some kind

if there is that much attraction there has to something in common to be attracted to even if it is no more than a general attitude toward life

there does for me to feel any attraction anyway....for me to say "I gotta taste that"

trust photo paper doesn't taste that good