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Topic: i need either prayers or help
thumper95's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:35 PM
i have a 4 year old daughter and she is my world. i havent been able to see her since april due to her mother being like she is. she knows the only thing that she can do to hurt me is to not let me see my daughter. i pay my child support and love my daughter more than anything in the world. i have a court order to have weekends with my daughter but my ex thinks its ok to do what she wants and refuse to let me see her. i am getting no help from the state and they will not return my calls. anyone got any advice or words of wisdom? im am so about to lose my mind and do something stupid.

connorsmom1's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:42 PM
Have you tried going for custody?

Redmond2007's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:43 PM
You have to hire a lawyer.
The court does,nt take man seriously in these matters.
You have to document each weekend that she fails to obey the court order.
I,d show up there for the kids at least once with a witness.
Bring her into court and ask for total custody, then get thing straight from that vantage point.

RandomX's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:49 PM
Be Legal......Get a Lawyer and then get your kids.........

geo54's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:55 PM
ask your local police to be around when the time to get your child they will have the records to when you get her, if she late or doesn't show

thumper95's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:57 PM
ive been civil and nice as i can be in this situation. i have emails from her admiting that she dont care what the courts say i wont get my daughter. as a child i was raised the most important thing in live is your family. and my daughter is my world. its killing me not to see her. no matter how bad or tired i feel she always makes me feel better and my ex wants to keep her from me. the state i live in unless she poses a mortal threat to my child. they dont care that shes mentally unstable and a theif and a compulsive liar. i have never been in any trouble and they trust her more than they trust me. let me be late with one payment and they will lock me up. how is that fair to anyone?

geo54's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:57 PM
prayers also included

thumper95's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:58 PM
im at my wits end. i just want to see her.

daleray1606's photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:59 PM
I'll add you to & her to my prayers...

flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 08/23/07 07:59 PM
File a motion called an "order to show cause" in the court where your divorce decree was adjudicated (filed and made final). They will set a hearing ordering your ex to appear and if your ex can't prove that your allegations are false she could be held in contempt of court for violating the court's order in the divorce decree. The court will probably just give her a firm warning the first time, order some make up visits with you, but if it happens anymore she could go to jail (if what you've reported in this forum is accurate and there aren't other reasons keeping you from having visitation).

good luck

Redmond2007's photo
Thu 08/23/07 08:05 PM
Thumper, stop being a wuss!
She has not shown you any consideration and why should she.
I,m a paramedic. I caan,t tell you how many calls I,ve gone on when these domestic thing get out of hand.
If she,s this angry and agressive you,ve got to handle her in a harsh and deliberate way.
stop acting like you think this is all going to go away.
call a lawyer and get moving on this.

thumper95's photo
Thu 08/23/07 08:09 PM
like i said i have emails from her refusing all attempts i have made to meet with her and work something out. and i have where she just decided to cut off visitation period. but i dont know if the court will even belive me with that in hand. but one thing is i have some back up. everything she sends me i forward to my parents so they help keep records with me so im not completely alone. i thank you guys for the advice and the prayers. i need all i can get right now. its really hard on me.

thumper95's photo
Thu 08/23/07 08:12 PM
red i cant do what i want to do,, if i did i would not get to see my daughter for 25 years atleast. im trying to go about this in a right way, not the way my heart is telling me. if it was up to me i would have my daughter and she would never see either one of us again so she couldnt have the chance to hurt me or my angel ever again. but if i do it like i want im going to jail. so i have to do this with care.

connorsmom1's photo
Thu 08/23/07 08:14 PM
Well....i hope you can work something out....good luckflowerforyou

thumper95's photo
Thu 08/23/07 08:19 PM
thanks connersmom

lulu24's photo
Thu 08/23/07 10:07 PM
prayers for whatever is best for your child.

hotandspicey's photo
Thu 08/23/07 10:39 PM
Well, I have some experience in this department. First look at your visitation papers and see if they are signed by the judge. If they are, then 24 hours before the next scheduled visitation, provide her with notice of your intent to excersise your visitation rights. Have it hand delivered by a reliable person that you could also use as a witness, or by return receipt mail. On visitation day adhere strictly to the guidelines stated in your order. stay at the agreed meeting place if it is other than her residence for 30 minutes. Again with a reliable witness (not family) Then if she does not show, call the non-emergency police number or go personally (with your order in hand) and ask for police escort to enforce your rights

pkh's photo
Fri 08/24/07 10:20 AM
Your in my prayrs I know how difficult that can be.I agree file a notion order to show cause and maybe a temp. custody order till she understands the meaning of all this.I would also keep a journal of every call,email missed visits. etc.Good luck

no photo
Sat 08/25/07 11:59 PM

I can't imagine how frustrating this must be for you. ohwell

Hang in there. flowerforyou

Marie55's photo
Sun 08/26/07 01:23 AM
I agree with Wonder - file the legal paperwork necessary. If you take matters into your own hands it will blow up in your face, you are smart by not reacting and just going and grabbing your daughter. I know how hard it is not to see her, but do it legally, that is the only way you can win at this. Keep track of any and all conversations, keep the e-mails for evidence. Document everything you do and take it with you to court, the legal way is the only way. She is in violating the visitation order, if there is one, may take the court to get her attention. Hold on for awhile longer and give the court a chance to make her come through. Also keep your payments caught up and on time because she would certainly use that against you first thing if you were to fall behind at all.

Take care and I wish you luck. Sorry things are so hard right now. But the court system is the only route to go right now. Best wishes.

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