i manifested a feeling deep in my loins




buuut it could be a urinary track infection,so who knows.....

They make a cream for that, y'know....

Reaching for information is one that always seems to work for me too. I can just think about what I want to learn, and the book or information will appear within three days.

Okay today I was driving around with my mom and I was telling her about the deer that I saw hanging around at cat creek when I had gone down there to get some sand to practice panning for gold. While I was down there I was being closely observed by a small herd of deer.

Cat creek is very close to our town. I was wishing I could share my experience of seeing the deer with my mom. Then, I turned the corner onto the Hwy and there right next to the road were three deer. I stopped and showed them to my mom.

Now I'm not saying I "manifested" the deer, but if I had not been thinking about them, I would have never noticed them. That is what the law of attraction is all about. Everything you want is there, you just have to notice it.

I can't say what I manifested today.......but I think I have manifested, or seen the results of a manifest this week. As I've mentioned here before.......I have been dabbling into wrestling for fun and as a physical test the last year or two.

Well since I had started, I have had these thoughts in my head of what it'd be like to do that for a living or in part.....be it helping out girls that travel in dealing with potential clients for sessions (the most recent idea I had but never had the guts to ask about), coming up with creative ideas for video shoots, be them competitive matches, or more fantasy stuff, or even being in videos myself.

For a while it seemed like all of that was a pipe dream, and I had been questioning just what I was doing, where my priorities were after having spent so much on all this....and thinking about where I could be with money if I had spent less even though getting out has had its' benefits.

But I guess in my subconscious mind having that small shred of hope somewhere has actually paid off, cause now everything has changed after seeing a woman this past week. I hadn't anticipated anything to come of it beyond just a typical session like the others but.....not only did we get into the idea of doing work on her site to help girls out as they travel (which was something I was hoping maybe to do for an in at some point), but....we actually got it planned now to do some shooting together when she comes back here. I am gonna talk to the next woman I see this week upcoming about arranging a shoot with her too perhaps if she is onboard with it.

I really can't believe this is happening but it is. This may very well be my big break, it's a huge opportunity for me. I don't know where this is gonna take me but I feel more motivated and inspired than I have in a long long time. Makes me wanna push myself to get into a better position too.....from learning to drive to get around easy without expenses (something that prevented me from going back to see this woman again last night to possibly film a shoot she was to do with another guy), to getting reacquainted to using a camera again after several years not.....I just have a huge push of motivation right now that I haven't had a lot of in the past.

It's really true isn't it? If you want something badly enough.....the universe will help you make it happen somehow. I know I had noticed that with this wrestling stuff even when it's been challenging to arrange, I've found a way to make it happen if I really wanted to do it. It's all about that energy isn't it? Having that passion for something. You push for it, you believe it, you will get where you wish to be....

So yeah.....this week may well be the defining moment in my life where everything really starts to change....

Wow, what happened just now, AMAZING!
According to The Power, I am truly changing my views and feelings about money. One thing you can do i.e. is imagine you got a wad of money and you give everyone you see 100 dollars. Without expecting anything in return, just out of Love, and imagine how they'd react, also the grumpy git or the winging woman. And I regularly do that, and da**, does that feel good!

Just now I got a letter in, the annual bill from my utility comp. I knew I'd paid a bit too much and expected to get some 70 euros back, but it's a lot more than that, I can't believe it!

This book really works wonders if you can apply the theory.