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| Topic: insecurity,jealousy,controlling and untrustworthy relations | |
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what i wanted to discuss was not really how people become insecurity,jealous and controlling, but how people get out of feeling that way with their partner.... i know that people say that "once you lose trust, you cant get it back" But what if you want that trust back, what if the person that hurt you is doing everything to show you they will do anything for you to just forgive them and love them again...and you see they are giving you their 100% all ....How now does the victim get over the pain,the constant second guessing their spouse or just being mad at them for no reason... or even the cheater, how do they get over the feeling that their spouse is going to do it back to them?
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Edited by
NorCalSwe
on
Wed 03/19/14 01:51 PM
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The short answer is if you decided to stay with them, then time will help and you can forgive, but you won't forget. Trust is very to hard gain back, once it's been lost, and it is a day by day struggle with doubt.
The longer answer would start with "it's complicated" |
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what i wanted to discuss was not really how people become insecurity,jealous and controlling, but how people get out of feeling that way with their partner.... i know that people say that "once you lose trust, you cant get it back" But what if you want that trust back, what if the person that hurt you is doing everything to show you they will do anything for you to just forgive them and love them again...and you see they are giving you their 100% all ....How now does the victim get over the pain,the constant second guessing their spouse or just being mad at them for no reason... or even the cheater, how do they get over the feeling that their spouse is going to do it back to them? then your being stupid and deserve to get walked on and used... have some self respect, don't let anyone use you like that and find someone that treats you like the wonderful lady you are... a lot of people let the cheater make them think it was the spouses fault... don't let that happen either |
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what i wanted to discuss was not really how people become insecurity,jealous and controlling, but how people get out of feeling that way with their partner.... i know that people say that "once you lose trust, you cant get it back" But what if you want that trust back, what if the person that hurt you is doing everything to show you they will do anything for you to just forgive them and love them again...and you see they are giving you their 100% all ....How now does the victim get over the pain,the constant second guessing their spouse or just being mad at them for no reason... or even the cheater, how do they get over the feeling that their spouse is going to do it back to them? They don't |
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Go on the Jeremy Kyle show with them. He shouts at you for a bit and then brings on this guy that he calls "the genius" to do the good cop thing. It really works. Well, not always but I'm weaning myself off my gambling addiction by betting on lie detector and DNA tests.
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This saying comes to mind..."Screw me once, shame on you...screw me twice, shame on me!" Sounds like a serious 2nd chance Natalie. I use to give 2nd chances...not anymore.
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what i wanted to discuss was not really how people become insecurity,jealous and controlling, but how people get out of feeling that way with their partner.... i know that people say that "once you lose trust, you cant get it back" But what if you want that trust back, what if the person that hurt you is doing everything to show you they will do anything for you to just forgive them and love them again...and you see they are giving you their 100% all ....How now does the victim get over the pain,the constant second guessing their spouse or just being mad at them for no reason... or even the cheater, how do they get over the feeling that their spouse is going to do it back to them? Its a slippery slope for sure.I have been where your at but I found myself with that little self doubt voice in my head and even though I wanted to believe, I was always considering what she saying was a lie so eventually I left. I hope it works out better for you, best wishes. |
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You know how in school if you got caught cheating, the teacher just tore your test paper up and that was it...Something like that.
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You know how in school if you got caught cheating, the teacher just tore your test paper up and that was it...Something like that. Ditto.... And as I get older I have no issue telling someone to hit the road.... Can't say I have ever done the second chance just put up with it longer then I should have.... Once the trust is gone for me it is gone....I may forgive them and move on but forget nay ....just learn there is someone better out there.. |
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Hmm.. how to trust the untrustworthy..
. well first you have to decide if you want to start trusting them again... and if you answer yourself yes.... . then you need to truly forgive them.. for the error of their way.. .. then you must give yourself over to trusting them again... . let their past mistakes. be the water that runs underneath the bridge... . .phD.. that's all I got to say about that... |
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what i wanted to discuss was not really how people become insecurity,jealous and controlling, but how people get out of feeling that way with their partner.... i know that people say that "once you lose trust, you cant get it back" But what if you want that trust back, what if the person that hurt you is doing everything to show you they will do anything for you to just forgive them and love them again...and you see they are giving you their 100% all ....How now does the victim get over the pain,the constant second guessing their spouse or just being mad at them for no reason... or even the cheater, how do they get over the feeling that their spouse is going to do it back to them? then your being stupid and deserve to get walked on and used... have some self respect, don't let anyone use you like that and find someone that treats you like the wonderful lady you are... a lot of people let the cheater make them think it was the spouses fault... don't let that happen either If it works out great, but it may very well not. Learn from the experience, if possible, and leave, a smarter more powerful potential partner, to someone else. if?... "if" the rabbit didn't stop to crap, the wolf wouldn't have caught it... i don't don't really care one way or the other, but once someone cheats, it's not going to stop there... you can sugar coat it all you want, but a cheat is a cheat is a cheat, no matter what... was it an accident they cheated? no, they knew ... |
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Edited by
vanaheim
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Thu 03/20/14 02:54 AM
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Jesus Natalie, you're fricken gorgeous, where has your self confidence gone?
Stop losing yourself in this guy or anyone. Be conscious of you, and consider looking out for you to be looking out for the ones you care about. Why? Because that's what the only people who really care about you, care about. This guy sounds all wrong. All wrong. ie. what i wanted to discuss was not really how people become insecurity,jealous and controlling, but how people get out of feeling that way with their partner they leave that wrong person, that clearly wrong person. It's about serendipitous compatability, so clearly the wrong personality for you. Put the big girl panties on and realize, there is no other way but to bite a bullet when you want to play sherriff in your life and you should, because everyone else who claims to is a liar coming out of the gate. Put it another way, a horrible person with partner A is a wonderful person to partner B, purely because partner B was right for them and partner A was wrong for them, yet their personality is the same with both. They just react to each other differently. It's about the mix, not the individuals. It was always only about the mix not the individuals. |
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