Not sure how well this is going to go but got out of a bad break up is it normal to be scared all the time about starting over new with everything. Rebuilding a new and trust worthy relationship etc.

The hard thing about breakups is you tend to have built a mental framework with your partner, now they're no longer there and that really throws you.

Time bud, takes time to settle back down to earth in a calm and relaxed way, when your personal situation at rest is completely changed from how it used to be at rest with someone else.

What helps is just try to remember that you began this life completely alone and then met your mother, met your schoolfriends, met your girlfriends. Alone is not a broken state. It is your natural state. You should be perfectly well adjusted and healthy when completely alone, and then every person that enters your life from there is a bonus, not an entitlement.

This puts you back in the right frame of mind to meet new people and start over.

Breakups are significant changes, and any bad breakup is even more stressful. Fear is a natural response to stress, and the fact that you can identify it as fear and not just shift into being angry shows emotional maturity. It sounds like you have experienced emotional trauma and you are hurt.

My encouragement for you is to be gentle with yourself. Honour your feelings, including the fear, by acknowledging all of your emotions and naming them without judging yourself. Please try to take some time for yourself everyday to just breathe deeply and consider how many ways you are a gift to those around you.

yes it is normal to be a little cautious but that is not necessarily a bad thing. just remember that not all women are going to like the one who you did not get along with

Perfectly normal!
I think it's abnormal to feel 100% at ease and jumping in with both feet into a relationship.

That's a good way of looking at things thanks yall

I try to look at it as embarking on a new adventure. Probably it's going to be a bit scarey but also exciting. I read something recently where a musician said that he felt that you should be a bit nervous if you're going to give a good performance.

Yeah its hard moving forward but as time passes it will get better

Thing is, you aren't going to be that keen when you meet someone new if you are still hung up on someone else. I mean, not as keen as you would be when you genuinely want a new person in your life.

I've gone through different stages with it. When I started dating again I kept making comparisons with my ex and did things like asking how the new girlfriend felt about things that had led to arguments that I had had with my ex and wanted to avoid having again. I also dated a woman who wasn't ready for anything serious and that was kind of alright in a way but still a bummer when it didn't work out.

I met another one after that and am just getting over that now. I've dated a couple of women recently and wasn't all that into them and that's partly because it's not that long since my last girlfriend and partly she was just more my sort of girl than they were. I'm open to meeting someone new and it's just that I'm not a dating n00b anymore and I have a better idea of what my type is and don't bother pursuing ones that really aren't.