The secret to rearing happy children? Don't make their happiness your greatest concern.

Parents everywhere are proud to say it: I just want my kids to be happy!

But what millions of well-intentioned moms and dads don't know is that making our children's happiness the most important thing often has the opposite effect --��hurting the kids, and hurting us.

It's no wonder that rates of youth worry, anxiety, and depression have been on the rise during the past twenty-five years, since parents widely began saying, and believing, that their children's happiness was the most important thing.


When parents pledge allegiance to the happiness of their offspring:

Too many kids...

Believe that having fun or getting their way are the most important things in life.

Don't know how to handle difficult feelings like sadness, hurt, and anger.

Operate as if they're the center of the universe.

•Crumple easily in the face of tough challenges or disappointments.
•Feel guilty or ashamed when they're not happy "enough."



Too many parents...

Overshield their kids from experiences that build resilience.

Downplay the importance of moral and ethical behavior.

Exhaust or neglect themselves just to keep the kids happy.

Confuse their kids with mixed messages about what they expect from them.

Feel unnecessary guilt or shame when their children aren't happy "enough."



from http://www.mykidshappiness.com/home.cfm





I think this applies to alot of grown 'kids' too, who have come to expect that whatever makes us 'happy' should therefore make our family happy for us.

The secret to rearing happy children? Don't make their happiness your greatest concern.

Parents everywhere are proud to say it: I just want my kids to be happy!

But what millions of well-intentioned moms and dads don't know is that making our children's happiness the most important thing often has the opposite effect --��hurting the kids, and hurting us.

It's no wonder that rates of youth worry, anxiety, and depression have been on the rise during the past twenty-five years, since parents widely began saying, and believing, that their children's happiness was the most important thing.


When parents pledge allegiance to the happiness of their offspring:

Too many kids...

Believe that having fun or getting their way are the most important things in life.

Don't know how to handle difficult feelings like sadness, hurt, and anger.

Operate as if they're the center of the universe.

•Crumple easily in the face of tough challenges or disappointments.
•Feel guilty or ashamed when they're not happy "enough."



Too many parents...

Overshield their kids from experiences that build resilience.

Downplay the importance of moral and ethical behavior.

Exhaust or neglect themselves just to keep the kids happy.

Confuse their kids with mixed messages about what they expect from them.

Feel unnecessary guilt or shame when their children aren't happy "enough."



from http://www.mykidshappiness.com/home.cfm





I think this applies to alot of grown 'kids' too, who have come to expect that whatever makes us 'happy' should therefore make our family happy for us.