Topic: Need a good laugh? This should help
Sojourning_Soul's photo
Mon 09/29/14 10:21 AM
Edited by Sojourning_Soul on Mon 09/29/14 10:21 AM

Eric Holder Takes $77 Million Job With JPMorgan Chase

Just after announcing his resignation as U.S. attorney general, Eric Holder has accepted a top job with Wall Street finance giant JPMorgan Chase.

Starting in early November, Holder will serve as JPMorgan Chase's chief compliance officer, where his responsibilities will include lobbying Congress on the company'��s behalf and ensuring it "gets the best deal possible" from any new proposed financial regulations. Holder will also fetch morning coffee and breakfast orders for CEO Jamie Dimon and board members.

For his efforts, Holder will earn an annual salary of $77 million plus bonuses for a job well done.

http://dailycurrant.com/2014/09/26/eric-holder-takes-77-million-job-with-jpmorgan-chase/

Conrad_73's photo
Mon 09/29/14 10:28 AM
pitchfork

Sojourning_Soul's photo
Mon 09/29/14 11:00 AM
Edited by Sojourning_Soul on Mon 09/29/14 11:05 AM

Lerner will probably end up at Goldman Sachs.... once the Dems can successfully sweep her crimes under the legislative table

Holder will probably pardon her as an exiting act.... or grant her immunity without testifying before congress

National Security......you know the drill

no photo
Mon 09/29/14 11:21 AM
"I will also hold myself as president to a new standard of openness .... Let me say it as simply as I can: Transparency and the rule of law will be the touchstones of this presidency" -Barack Obama



no photo
Mon 09/29/14 09:47 PM
ahhh hahahahahahahah... knew it would be a book tour, Or slip on a pebble

race bait law suits... or sometin like this

good luck \Jamie Diamond only you could have come up

with this pap....

chokin with laughter and disqust


no photo
Mon 09/29/14 10:47 PM

pitchfork


col.

like pitchforks too

whats the matter?

spill it Col. set us all straight

Conrad_73's photo
Tue 09/30/14 01:45 AM


pitchfork


col.

like pitchforks too

whats the matter?

spill it Col. set us all straight

you really want to?rofl


About

The Daily Currant is an English language online satirical newspaper that covers global politics, business, technology, entertainment, science, health and media. It is accessible from over 190 countries worldwide - now including South Sudan.

Our mission is to ridicule the timid ignorance which obstructs our progress, and promote intelligence - which presses forward.



Q. Are your news stories real?

A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world

Q. Who are your influences?

A. Bat for Lashes, Dave Brubeck, Regina Spektor and Jeff Buckley.

Q. What is the origin of the name "The Daily Currant ?

A. The name is a play on words. In English the words courant, current, and currant are often pronounced identically.

Courant is a Dutch loan word that for a time was a popular name for newspapers. The UK's The Daily Courant was the first newspaper in the English langauge, and The Hartford Courant is the oldest American newspaper still in publication.
Current as an adjective means "Belonging to the present time; happening or being used or done now" and is often used in the context of news as in "current affairs" or "current events". As a noun current may refer literally to an electrical current, and metaphorically to technology. Or literally to ocean currents and metaphorically to strong slowly changing trends in society.
Currant is a type of fruit known scientifically as Ribes which produce edible sour berries. The distinctive color of redcurrants (Ribes rubrum) lends the newspaper its color scheme.

The name is thus intended to sound like a newspaper, but is spelled like the fruit in a subtle reference to the newspaper's satirical nature.



Q. Your motto is "cauta est et ab illis incipit uxor". What does this mean?

A. The motto is a quote from Juvenal's Satire VI. The phrase literally means "the wife plans ahead and begins with them." The line directly preceding it is the much more famous "quis custodiet ipsos
custodes" or "who watches the watchers?" The motto is thus a tongue-in-cheek reference to both The Daily Currant's mission to hold the powerful to account and its satirical nature.

http://dailycurrant.com/about/:laughing: :laughing:

Sojourning_Soul's photo
Tue 09/30/14 06:06 AM
Edited by Sojourning_Soul on Tue 09/30/14 06:12 AM

Easy on the guy Con.......he's tryin, and he sure has a better grasp than most of the libs even in his confusion

In truth, there's probably more truth than fiction in the OP because as we know, DC is a revolving door to Wall Street and K street

All the kings men end up there after they get thru screwing the people in their political careers..... and I do mean careers!

Term Limits! NO CAREER POLITICIANS

WHAT OTHER JOB WILL GIVE YOU FULL PAY AND RETIREMENT BENEFITS AFTER ONLY 2 TERMS? (one in the case of the POTUS.... no matter how badly they screw things up!)


no photo
Tue 09/30/14 09:52 AM
i did not post the article Col.

just commenting on how

it sounds just like I

would have imagined!

keep on decodin the satire.

yer goood at it Col.

and yeah I work at 2 biz.s

so a lot of times I ask myself..

what am I doin??? out loud.

the clipboard is fast becoming

my best friend again.

so I can use the comic relief..