Arriving home, a husband was met by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained,
"Ihe Chemist.
He insulted me this morning on the phone.
I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
The husband drove down to confront the Chemist to demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the Chemist said
"Now, just a minute mate, hear my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late.
Without breakfast I hurried out to the car, to realize I'd locked the house with house and car keys inside.
I had to break a window to get my keys."
"Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.
About three streets from the store, I had a flat tire."
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up.
I started waiting on these people,
All the time the damn phone never stopped ringing."
"Then I had to break open a bag of quarters against the cash register drawer to give change, and they spilled all over the floor
I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still friggin' ringing.
When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer,
which made me stagger back against a showcase with bottles of expensive perfumes on it.
Half of them hit the floor and broke."
"Meanwhile, the phone is still fekkin' ringing with no let up,
and I finally got to answer it.
It was your wife.
She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
And believe me, mate, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."