I used to consider any unfortunate things that happens to me as a bad event but later realized that life's most unfortunate events can be a blessing in disguise, even if you have a deep cut of heart break, it doesn't matter how deep it cuts you but what matters is how long you allow it to hurt you, the challenge is how to suffer hit and learn from it cause experience is the best teacher.

Absolutely.
Life's experiences are all stepping-stones.
Miss too many and you never see the other side.

As for relationships, I think the harder they
are to get over, chances are you did it right.

You invested heavily.
If you see the other has not, well, hit the
next stone.
You will get there, when it is right.

That's good.
That's called judgment.
It's why you don't touch that pretty colored hot red thing on the stove more than once.
Judgments of "bad" and "good," labeling and categorizing things, are useful for your every day life. It can easily be abused though.


Personally, I think it's more important to realize no matter what happens to you, no matter what choice you make, no matter what experience you have, there are going to be positive and negative consequences, long term, short term, and interacting in unforeseen ways with past experience, and it's all important and relevant.

Ignoring one and chasing/denying the other (bad or good) is going to lead to really bad habits in the long term.


Sure it matters how deep it cuts. Especially if you are going to "choose" how long you allow it to hurt you.

Maybe you're special but most people can't just switch off their emotions and pain.
If they/you are cut "really deep" but then "choose" to pretend it doesn't/shouldn't hurt, or only "should" hurt as long as a "shallow" wound since depth doesn't matter, then you might not ultimately deal with the pain at all, just rationalize how it doesn't hurt because you "choose" for it not too, and then end up sublimating the pain, refusing to deal with it in any healthy manner, and develop even more bad habits that can inhibit or hurt your future relationships because you never get over anything, or start using people as a means to prove you aren't really hurting.


Experience is a constant as long as you are alive.
If you exist, you are being acted upon by the world and experiencing something. No matter how small the experience it is changing you to some degree. Cumulative change, compound experience interest.
Experience isn't a teacher, it's a constant variable, a constant teacher.

"Experience" is just life throwing crap against the wall and you get to choose what you believe sticks and feel profound about yourself.

IME a lot of people that talk about "learning from your experience" (as it relates to this thread and website) really mean "you get to pick and choose what affirmations you wish to rationalize about yourself to support your self image, make yourself feel important, and how you want others to perceive you."

IME when people "choose" which lessons they've learned from heartache and pain and life traumas they tend to correspond with whatever they've seen from t.v., school, or read from a magazine about what they're "supposed" to learn, and if you hang out with them for any length of time and experience their natural behavior and interaction you figure out the only thing they learned is how to manipulate their experiences into justifying their behavior and inconsistent beliefs.

sometimes you don't know what 'good' things might come from something bad.
a few years ago my brother and his then girlfriend were hospitalized with severe food poisoning. she got better in a couple of hours, he didn't and they had to do some scans to determine the problem.
the scans revealed an incidental finding unrelated to the food poisoning. he had a tumor in his lower back in the right hip area.
his food poisoning turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
the tumor was asymptomatic. it urned out to be cancerous and would have continued to grow if left untreated. because it was found in time and operable, we are blessed to say after 7 years of treatment or check ups my brother is cancer free.

you never know what miracle is waiting for you ahead.
having experienced a deep hurt sometimes helps us better appreciate the happy times that later come