Pay attention, there will be a quiz & hate filled comments later:

Activity Partner: You bike around the Central Park reservoir every Thursday & want to find someone to do it with you. You are a member of some organization that gives you passes/tickets to some kind of event monthly & want someone (of the opposite sex)to go with you. Those are ACTIVITIES. There is no expectation of romance/sex/dinner
etc. Just two people meeting at the site & doing/seeing the activity or event. Could it lead to dating? Yes, BUT that's not what this "looking for" title is meant for.

Intimate Encounter: Sex, plain & simple. Ladies, if you respond to this there will be no dinner & a movie, probably not even the stereotypical meeting at a Starbucks. Men, the same (sounds ideal right LOL). You will text or phone to exchange the necessary info: STD status/tests, taboos (acts, positions, # of people involved), hosting/location. Whether it will be ongoing is discussed AFTER when both parties know if they want to have sex with each other again (just 'cuz it was good for one doesn't mean it was good
for both). There is no expectation of romance/activities outside of sex, or even that you're going to get a ride home (if you traveled to them). You are responsible for your own safety, both physically & emotionally. Ladies, you can only feel disappointment when you imagined more, the men don't have this issue, if they say they want sex, they want sex, not dating, friendship, etc.

Dating: Always can be confused with Activity Partner - you do the first meet up casual & quick & then decide whether you want to spend more than 30 minutes with this person, doing whatever. Very tricky if one party does not think the other is sexually attractive, but still likes their personality. Therefore they are willing to go to dinner & a movie or whatever but there will be no physical progression of intimacy as the dates continue kissing/being alone together/sex). Ladies & Men - get the discussion out of the way ASAP if you have "feelings" towards the other. Again, you can't be disappointed when both parties are on the same page with what they feel about the other person. Men, let the women know if you are NOT okay with "just friends", believe me, we won't suddenly change our minds & want your body 10 dates in, if we didn't after date #1. Ladies, men get tired & frustrated (& confused easily LOL!), when we act one way & say another. It makes it harder for them to trust their own feelings much less decode another's, so just tell the guy the truth (do it over text if you are afraid he will whine/cry/get angry). Men, DON'T have sex with her if you are not going to continue "dating" her afterwards.

Additional info: FWB is NOT dating. It is a confusing no man's land built on quicksand & filled with steel jaw traps for both genders.

Hope this helps people out: the more you know... "

Reposted here at moderator's instructions, so I don't know why the computer did not space it out as I originally typed it out (full sentences are broken into 2 lines etc...)

Thank you for telling us. I would have never known

If there's no expectation of dinner, I'm not interested.

IDK, if the evening's just about sex, a full stomach is not ideal LOL!

I do think that it's easier to talk to someone over a meal though...if you do stall in conversation you can always talk about the food?

Men, DON'T have sex with her if you are not going to continue "dating" her afterwards.

...or else?!!
Pump and Dump Prohibited?
what if the experience was... horrible?
am i supposed to go on another date, spending 5 minutes explaining that i want to end it right there?


But previously you stated that simply texting me is okay.
so just tell the guy the truth (do it over text if you are afraid he will whine/cry/get angry)
I smell a double standard in here...

Lots of people use these labels and try to define them.
Sometimes serious, sometimes in an attempt at humor.
I don't think these things help anyone and cause more harm than anything.

Because ultimately what you are doing is saying labeling is acceptable.
And saying, by trying to enforce absolute definitions of subjective relationship labels and expectations, the "right" way is for the label to define/judge the people in the relationship, rather than how the people interact define the relationship, with a person being judged on their own merits as opposed to how well they live up to a one sided relationship label definition.

When you use labels to define the people in the relationship you end up falling for people that know how to manipulate your perceptions, that tell you they are looking for a "relationship" because they know what it means to you, but they have no intention of living up to it. They manipulate your perceptions in order to make sure you see their behavior as living up to what you want to see based on your label. An you manipulate your perspective to put their behavior in the box that you've defined the relationship to be, avoiding actual reality, because it means you get what you want.

Labels should be applied in hindsight to whatever relationship developed, for the sake of communication, not to define any kind of relationship path or what you want it to be.
And I only say "should" because the harm to doing so far exceeds any benefit.

^ You seem to be speaking English but I rarely understand your posts.

OP, it's interesting what you wrote about physical attraction. I was just thinking about that last night:

"Men, let the women know if you are NOT okay with 'just friends', believe me, we won't suddenly change our minds & want your body 10 dates in, if we didn't after date #1."

That is so true. I know right away if I like someone right from the first impression. I have ended up hurting men by giving them a chance anyway when I knew that I wasn't into them. I refuse to date men I find unattractive any more in the hopes that he will change my mind later as I fall madly in love with his hidden astounding personality which will emerge miraculously after 50 dates. What actually happened was that I ended up miserable, feeling an emptiness, and then dumped them and broke their heart. I know what I want and like. Don't force me into crappy relationships with unattractive men, Mom.

yes this would be why I went on five or was it six ...errr eight first dates last year. I don't believe in stringing a man along just for his company..if I am not attracted to him at initial meeting ...it will not get better

Amen

Seriously, am I nuts? I don't understand his posts. It's like either he talks in circles, contradicts himself or takes both sides. And I keep re-reading and still don't get him.