With flair and mystique
She tailors her physique
Airbrush smudging and streaks
Though the image... still bleak

North of the buckle
Center of his chuckle
Fun-house mirror may shrink
Abs normal clearer in a blink

At the bottom of his chest
'Neath the hem of the vest
Family jewels... hidden treasure
Multiplying system of measure

Below her head in the cloud
Corn fed... well endowed
Naturally double D?
Plastic surgery tomfoolery?

Twist for me your history
What's fun without mystery
With spit polish it for me
We all see what we wanna see

Oh the human vanity!