I have had both physical and mentally draining jobs and for me the mental drain is far worse. I would rather have a combination of both physical and a desk job but I am still looking for that perfect job

I have over the years done the trio.

While I do not discount how and extremely physically taxing job can drain the body and make you feel like you have been drawn through a knot hole where you have drained your mental strength also to fight through the sometimes excruciating pain and keep doing what Physical jobs demand I still say I would rather run a jack hammer on an asphalt road or buck 80 pound hay bails with rattle snakes crawling out of them in a hundred degree heat all day than work in some of the high stress "icy" office situations I have also done. At least on a physical job when you show you can do the "work" you get a little respect from your coworkers and you usually take home a sizeable paycheck that gets you even more respect, that rarely exists in and office type job. Even if you are really good at it and are the "boss".

I agree the absolute absence of empathy for each other in your ex relationship OP is disheartening. It tends to be a vicious cycle where what may have actually had a chance of turning to understanding through good communication just seemed to sink to more degradation of each other.

I will say even joking that when a person see's the partner, the other parent of your children, of being reduced to a beer maid flunky for someone who is vegging on the Lazy Boy after a work shift like that should allows you to be off duty probably had a lot to do with the lack of empathy. Did you ever tell her how much your love made visible by working like a mule made you hurt physically and mentally? Did you take her out on the job site in the heat, and the sun, and the dust? Did you ever go work in the office and put up with the BS there? I know you have done a lot of the Daddy and Homemaker stuff before and since, maybe a wee bit more than your share; granted but was it a failure to communicate or did you like being the martyr? Or did you just suck it up and tough guy through the day and have an attitude of resentment that was not even thinly veiled like the generation before you and around you? You could and I think have had a career change since? If things were so bad why did you not change what made you feel used? Which is exactly the same advice I would have given your Ex if she whined about how bad it was in the office. I am pretty sure if I could work construction and unloading retail trucks ect. that gives me the empathy I have for men she could.