Apart from the obvious!!
Someone's picture appeals to you. So we crossed that bridge.

Now what makes you get in touch with one attractive person and not with another?

-Is it their words (literally),
- Is it the general feel of their text?
- Is it something they say they do?
- Are it similarities?? (in interests, personality etc)

REASON I ASK ... I find my interest peaks when I read that someone is very much like me.
But I don't think this means someone is a suitable partner at all, more a very suitable friend.

So ... what makes you contact one attractive person and not the other?

This comment also reflects narcissitic tendencies option two buy a mirror and gaze accordingly.... lol

it really is a combination of those that creates the urge to say hi. i got a giggle from something she wrote and i just had to answer that question she asked. but mostly it is the lack of negatives. we all know scammers won't read and avoid you because you call them out. and a list of i don'ts or i hates is a sure fire way to get me to click next

You know, I'm thinking maybe you should do that yourself? And find out why you always have to post negative things and always try to knock other people. That's not really indicative of someone who's happy, loving and caring. And not really appealing either.

Yes, the negatives have the same effect on me.

But even when someone doesn't do that, many write the same things, i.e.
"I like being active, but also enjoy a quiet evening"
and
"I like chitchat, but also up for in depth conversation with a glass of wine."

That all got to be rather bland, as 9 out of 10 say that sort of thing. It's boring. And contrary to what people think (I think ) it doesn't say anything about who they are. I mean, most have one tendency: either more quiet and calm or lively and active.

You mean we're not just supposed to look at the pictures ?.. they actually say stuff?.. well I guess I could try reading there profile.. .. I kind of like my way!.. I just look at there pictures... because if they're very attractive and then when I go meet them ...and they turn out to be as dumb as a stick.. I can always just put my finger up to their lips and say SHhhh no no Mon Cheri do not speak!!! let me just gaze upon your beauty..shhhhhh. . Just sit there and do not speak a word..
No no Mon Cheri. I do not want you to strain that pretty little brain of yours..

Okay, so the picture drew me in, that's usually done through either a good photograph, or one that makes me go "what is going on in that picture?"

Now a "good picture" will have to have a "good story" to go along with it. I'm going to need to read something in their profile that makes me smile to myself and laugh. I can't tell you what that may be until I read it, but it has to be there. The combination will definitely get a note from me, unless....

There are certain clues in a profile that will always make me say "fake" and move on. Is it filled out correctly? Did someone type their synopsis in the "interests" area? Are the descriptions (eyes, hair, children...) all set at their defaults or "no answer?" Do these things match each other? Basically, did the person take the time to show that they are truly going to put out an effort. Also, how long since they've shown up. If they haven't been here in "over a month" they aren't coming back so no point in sending a note that won't be read.

Now then a picture that makes me say "what is going on?" will always get a response from me. I don't care if they haven't been on since 1982 (which would be a pretty good trick), something that sparks my curiosity like that, deserves to be acknowledged.

Different things at different times based on different moods and different perspectives and different intent.

I mean I can have a bad nights sleep and wake up at 4 a.m. and
maybe I go online and check email and get a notice I have a message.
I sign into a dating site and it's an email from a scammer.
But while I'm there I troll profiles since the message was a bust.

But I'm tired, maybe cranky, so I see attractive women and just gloss over their profiles and reject them all, too tired to write, finding fault in what they say, hold minor problems as something major, just don't want to take the time, or I signed on with absolutely no intent to contact, just look at profiles of smiley women to kill time until the hour I'm supposed to get up arrives.

Then I get ready, go do work, and then something good happens to me, I get caffeine, I have a good day, I come home happy, go check email again, get a message notice, sign onto the dating site, see another email from a scammer, but while I'm there I start scrolling profiles, see someone I really like and send them a message.

What would you attribute to me writing to them but not the same or other attractive people I saw that morning?

Am I compensating for having rejected people earlier?
Am I overtired from waking up too early but have the time and don't want to go to bed?
Am I bored?
Is it the caffeine?

Is it the good thing that happened making me happy and energetic?
Did my subconscious evaluate profiles and when I went back I was primed to more mindfully and consciously evaluate them?

Did the good thing that happened just make me wistful or cause self pity wanting me to have someone to share it with so I look to hurry up and find someone to share my life with?

Or do you really believe all the motivation is in the profiles I read?


IMO profiles don't really matter.

What matters is your intent, perspective, desires, mood, motivation.

What "makes" a person write another is not the profile or what the profile says.
A persons profile is just used as an excuse to write, not the motivation.

It's your own personal desires, bias, wants, mood, that determines whether or not you write. What they say is about 1% of the equation.
You can interpret a profile however you want to prove whatever you want to justify whatever you want to do.

So

I feel like it.

So basically all you need is someone to be pretty, just sit there and shut up
Then why does your profile say "Turn my brain on first"? Clearly that is not a requirement?

Thank you.

For me it's after I have been speaking to them on the forums.
To be honest most of the time it's when I have click their name by mistake I think oh crap they are going to think I have been checking them out so I make the most if it and look.
Other times it's when someone suggest it.
I find chatting to them you find out a lot more about them .
I guess I should do a lot more checking them out. You can tell a scammer in the first message because they all say the same stuff.

Well...
Since the interwebz is a visual place,
obviously, looks play a key role in attraction.

It's kind of hard to get to know a person / personality in a two dimensional world. However, words posted, and words by private email, can be a resource for learning a person's "personality".

Mostly it was a sense of humor and a feeling of a vibrant personality behind the words.

I say was because I do not think any longer about attraction in terms of communications sent and received via the internet.

I've been doing this so long that I have learned to stop looking at the picture first. Read what they have to say about themselves first. It gives me a look into who and what they are first. There're a lot of beautiful women out there. But are they as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside? I read profiles. If you have nothing in it, I move on to the next one. No matter how pretty the picture is.

Looks mean nothing to me..literally..I think I learned
real young that the package is rarely represented by
how the package looks.

So, 2 things for me..sympathy and humor.
Humor because it tells me what makes us laugh is the
same premise, we think the same way and think the
same things are humorous.

Sympathy I figured out after analyzing a life's worth
of experience of what caught my attention.

I might hear they have had a bad time and feel..something.
Weird but effective :-)

Great questions Crystal...
I do have to say though looks is so far down on my list of things. I look at the person themselves what they have written. If I am lucky enough that they are posters I feel like I hit the jackpot since I can find out even more about the person.
I look for the person to be consistent, and who they say they are.
I also like to go to phone pretty quickly. I like the voice inflections I find that I can learn a lot about how the person express's themselves in the oral context. Does it match what they post, have on their profile, and what we have chatted about in emails.

Doesn't take me long to say yeah I am interested to learn more or nay so not going there...

I honestly didn't look at Pancho's profile for about 3 weeks.

Me I think the reality of said person and how much they intrigue me.

for me it's really two things.

first it's a sense of their wit, preferably humorous. Most often I read someones profile based off of a one-liner they posted that made me laugh.

second is when I get the sense that the other person is true to and comfortable with themselves and not 'putting on a show' it's obvious they are who they are with a 'take it or leave it' attitude, they are happy with themselves generally. But lacking an inflated ego at the same-time

It's also about age and where a man lives.

They have to sound sincere to me and with some of the same interests.

Well I will be perfectly honest

Looks are a huge thing

Oh sorry I do like good looking men

not to say I very much need more then that

It a package deal

Good looking and make me happy