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| Topic: 80/20 rule | |
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I read something in a profile once, that stuck ---
"The grass is always greener, where you water it" I have always tried, while in a relationship, to appreciate the good and understand that there is never anything perfect. As long as the good out weighs the bad - it's all good - in my book. My ex-husband became a drug addict and would not seek help. My ex-boyfriend chose sports over a relationship. In both relationships - the percentages flipped 80% bad 20% good ...so to speak. It would truly be a blessing if I could find someone where it was even 70-30.  I think you make a very good point - and one everyone should keep in mind while actually in a relationship. Focus on the good!!! :) Work on the gaps. Remember to be happy. |
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I have two thoughts on second marriages the first is I would think divorce would be easier and more acceptable once one has already done it the second though, is that a person might work harder because they dont want to be twice divorced,, particularly when the second marriage was a relationship they gave up the first marriage for I agree more with your second thought, but not out of a person's concern of a possible second divorce, but more the effort I believe someone previously married would put in to maintain the relationship to make it work, being less likely to give up on it. Yet, I once chatted with a woman that was just going through her third divorce, talking about divorce which I had recently gone through, and her comment was, that it seemed no matter how hard she felt she had tried in her later marriages, they still failed. It makes you wonder whether it matters how hard you work at your marriage, divorce just comes down to both partners having made a bad choice to begin with. |
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I read something in a profile once, that stuck --- "The grass is always greener, where you water it" I have always tried, while in a relationship, to appreciate the good and understand that there is never anything perfect. As long as the good out weighs the bad - it's all good - in my book. My ex-husband became a drug addict and would not seek help. My ex-boyfriend chose sports over a relationship. In both relationships - the percentages flipped 80% bad 20% good ...so to speak. It would truly be a blessing if I could find someone where it was even 70-30. I think you make a very good point - and one everyone should keep in mind while actually in a relationship. Focus on the good!!! :) Work on the gaps. Remember to be happy. Come on inni,men need to watch a little sports once in awhile...but also can do things with women to balance things out for fairness,you know...a little give take... 
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^^
 On second thought,maybe I don't know what I'm talking about... Scratch That... 
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80/ 20 rule?? I thought it was "what's hers is hers, and what's his is hers all so."  Shhhh! Don't give the women any ideas.  It always work to us, he once said "Happy wife happy life" laugh;
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80/ 20 rule?? I thought it was "what's hers is hers, and what's his is hers all so." nah, whats our is ours,, when it comes to marriage,,,at least it should be |
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Edited by
sybariticguy
on
Mon 12/12/16 04:29 AM
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I have two thoughts on second marriages the first is I would think divorce would be easier and more acceptable once one has already done it the second though, is that a person might work harder because they dont want to be twice divorced,, particularly when the second marriage was a relationship they gave up the first marriage for I agree more with your second thought, but not out of a person's concern of a possible second divorce, but more the effort I believe someone previously married would put in to maintain the relationship to make it work, being less likely to give up on it. Yet, I once chatted with a woman that was just going through her third divorce, talking about divorce which I had recently gone through, and her comment was, that it seemed no matter how hard she felt she had tried in her later marriages, they still failed. It makes you wonder whether it matters how hard you work at your marriage, divorce just comes down to both partners having made a bad choice to begin with. As long as we use words such as failed we make an assumption and a judgement that is not necessarily true as relationships can simply run their course, people have differential needs that change over time, and a myriad of other reasons and only hurt people with a judgement rather than an understanding that relationships do not necessarily last " forever and still be healthy. We live with an illusion of "forever" forgetting that the average person is now married three times so it is inaccurate to refer to relations that end as failures for much is lost and denied in not simply assessing what were the reasons and issues that precipitated a needed divorce |
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