In society, how human beings, not all of coarse, tend to consent, two or more consenting adults agree to a one night affairs.
1. How can you separate the feelings from the act, physical intimacy happen and we forget it the following day.
2. Can we turn off our feelings.
3. Why do we go through this type of action.
4. Does affect our feelings.
5. What is the purpose.
6. Does it make us less human.

I am not the type that agree with this, I myself need to feel love and give love if I am going to be intimate with my partner. Maybe this is why I find this type of affair difficult to understand.

Let's not include prostitution, just average human beings.

Like I being saying it lately, "trolls" are welcome.

I think you'll find that the answer to most of the questions you've asked within this post is alcohol.

When I was younger , I feel like the quest for immediate gratification could rule out everything else.

I had a one nighter ONCE and it wasn't a matter of turning off my feelings because I did not know enough about him to really feel for him in the first place.

It was nothing to do with 'love', just a craving in that moment, like chocolate.

That experience did not cause me to develop feelings either, probably again because I did not know much about the person to feel ABOUT.

The main thing I 'felt' was regret and fear, because I realized the significance of the fact that I knew so little about him. By extension, that meant I knew little about his life and who else my choice may have impacted (a significant other or spouse,,for example). I was 'safe' so pregnancy and disease at least were not a concern.


I think our flaws are all part of being human, our free will, and our choice to pursue pleasure for the flesh above all else are part of those flaws, imho.

MsHarmony, very brave of you, thank you.

By not idealizing sex and overloading it with emotional fulfillment and actualization of my ego?


No. We do have limited control over what we associate them with and to what degree, although if you don't want to work at it, then it'll happen naturally in ways you think you might not like.


...Which type of action?
One night stands? Short term gratification.
Try to separate the feelings from the act? Consequences avoidance.
Try to turn off our feelings? Decrease stress.


...yes?


Pleasure, relieve stress, fulfill identity, social status, simplistically fulfill biological imperative without long term cost, titillation, boredom, social bonding, role fulfillment.

Whatever purpose you want it to have.


No.

Interesting points, CireTom, it really make me wonder. .

I guess I am the odd ball

When I was in my teens, I had a one night stand.. most every week.. as many as I could.. for a few years


I ain't complaining.. or over analyzing it either... it was a great run :)

Sounds like a typical ' I'm a Gentleman, come and get me' topic.

Hmmm.. you go to the bar you meet somebody have a good time.. you don't want the connection to..end..
It's hot it's Electric...soo..you end up spending the night...it's hot it's Electric....the next morning. .you wake. .say your goodbyes. . Leave feeling happy and satisfied...if it goes further great !!if not great..one night of pleasure...it's good for the mind and body...yup...just don't make a habitat.of it..no.no..

Joe, you're such a cynic lol

very well said maam :)

We can talk extensively about this "taboo" topic...1 + night or morning affair!

Some time ago;specially men;were looking for this type of "moments" by opportunity; "accident" or just for have some fun. But; from some years to today; also many women are looking this type of "fun". Human beings consider this kind of experience as normal with no attachments or feelings involved.

Many men and women don't accept this type of "moments" and they don't practice that. But many others...yes. Do we have all kind of risks and dangers? yes; but this is another topic.

Now that I can see that we are open on this topic, by the way, thank you for the replies. I can add that at some point in my life I joint the one night stand club. But soon enough find it not my cup of tea. Few times in my life, even for the female clearly knowing that I was married, they wanted a one night stand. But my feelings directed me to walk away. Everytime I think about this, I wonder if it was the right thing to do. Also the feeling of rejection on the other side. But this is also a topic for another tread, .

so, what are you telling us.. you're a chick magnet?

men cause some part of this

Both sides do... men like sex.. and " newsflash".... so do women.

And sometimes love has nothing to do with it.. at all... it is sex they both want.. with each other.. and then that's that.

its not a man thing.. not a woman thing.. it is both a man & woman thing.

Sex... been happening forever.

It does not take a Rocket Scientists to understand that my last post before this one, is my own experience.
What I will like to read, if possible, more brave women posting in here the own side of view. It is a two sided coin,
So far MsHarmony is the only brave one to post something significant here.

I think this has to be looked at from more than one conceptual point of view. Not only are there more than one kind of ONS's, there are many reasons why people do it on purpose, and those reasons change with experience and growth.

And how I think of people who participate in such, varies a lot as well.

For many of us, certainly with me, there are many negative emotional memories associated with this. At the same time, I look back on my youth, during which time I discovered that I wanted nothing to do with such behavior, and I realize that it is a fairly common part of people's learning process, especially depending on the times each person came of age during.

I have known too many people for whom the One Nighter was an act of anything from revenge, to rebellion in general, to an expression of how much they actually hated the opposite sex. Hence my own intense negative associations. Some others have indulged in it for simple sexual fun, some even as a way to "collect" sexual conquests (I met a pair of girls in college who had decided to compete to see which could bed the most men in the shortest time, for example).

In answer to the OP questions, I would say in particular, that no, it doesn't CAUSE someone to become less human. I would say instead, that ALL behaviors that people repeatedly participate in, serve to REVEAL WHAT KIND OF HUMAN THAT THEY ARE. And I concluded that I did not want to be in a world that was populated by a large number of such people, myself.

hhhmmm...what differentiates humans from animals is that we have feelings and we have the free will to do what we want. now i am trying to be brave and speak my thoughts about this as to how i feel about having intimacy without feelings and just forget about the person after the deed is done. i am not judging those who do and honestly i dont know if i could consider doing something like this, but knowing myself if and when ill be able to do it it will be for a very emotional deep reason ...something that i will only do with a person i have very strong connection with...someone who i dont plan to forget after a night. So my question would be if youre not drunk and you know what youre doing and you find another person attractive how do you switch off the feeling of "i wouldnt care less if i ever see this person again " coz for me the only feeling it would leave would be the feeling of emptiness and being used on both sides.

and not trying to be a man magnet too lol just feeling curious about all this