Forewarning: This post will be quite lengthy...you have been warned!

I have seen a few posts on here with subject titles like “Look at my profile...would you date me?”, “How come I'm not getting any email responses” and “I suck...nobody likes me”. While the point of most of these posts is to get a temporary ego boost from others who are nice enough to say you are fine just the way you are, the boost is indeed only temporary. A day or so later the individual goes back into their depression when they see an empty mailbox and is back to square one.

I want to offer my two cents on how to improve your profile and hopefully increase the number of people who view you. I will preface this topic by saying I am NOT an expert nor do I claim to be. I have only been on this particular site for 9 days but I have viewed a couple hundred profiles and I am a member of six other free dating sites. What I will list below is not THE way but A way. Please understand the difference. It may work for some and not for others but I hope I am able to ignite a spark inside you to take some action instead of sitting there hoping and praying for someone to respond.

First, the number one thing people first look at is your picture. This will determine whether a person decides to read your profile or move on to another one. If you do not post a photo you will get very few views or responses, plain and simple. Your photo should be clear and close enough to see your face and eyes. Do not have a photo of you with your friends as your main profile photo. People will not be able to tell which one is you. Do not put up a pixelated, blurry, sideways or upside down picture where others cannot tell what your face looks like. Do not have something other than you as your main profile picture (i.e. Animal, nature scene, anime, etc.) Veterans on this site do some of these things but they have been here awhile and people know who they are. Have at least four but no more than six pictures. This is just my opinion. One picture doesn't really show much and sixteen is way too many especially if they are the same view with a slightly different pose. Show yourself doing what you love (your passion), with/without glasses or hat, a face shot, a full body shot, with a pet, etc. For women, keep the Playboy and Hustler photo spreads to a minimum. Guys, you should keep the shirtless ab shots and muscle flexes to a minimum as well.

Second is your profile heading. I would go with something that stands out a little and uses humor. Don't put, “Where are all the real men/women?” or “Liars, Cheaters and Deadbeats need not apply”. You instantly turn off a good portion of your viewers with negativity.

Third, when filling out your stats, be honest. Give an accurate view of what you look like physically. Don't lie about age, height, weight, etc. If you are a heavyset individual, then choose that description rather than “average” or “a few extra pounds”. One hundred pounds overweight is not a few extra pounds.

Fourth, your profile summary. This is the meat and potatoes of your profile and will ultimately determine if someone sends you a response or not. Do not use negativity towards others or yourself. Do not say you are looking for an honest, loyal and nice man/woman. That is a given. Do you think someone is going to respond saying they are a lair, cheater and total deadbeat? Leave it out of your profile. Really express yourself through your profile. Do NOT start your profile with “I really don't know what to say...” or “This is so hard. I don't know what to write about myself...” Yes you do. You know yourself better than anyone else so take some time and use a Word type document to outline some ideas. Write out a rough draft, read it over and revise. Have a family member or friend take a look at it and give an honest opinion. Look at the profile from the point of view of the opposite sex. If this was a woman/man with the same exact profile, would you respond? Humor is probably the best way to show off your personality. Look at the member geektothetenth for an excellent example of this.

Fifth, check your spelling, grammar and punctuation. Use the Word document to double check this. The same goes with long ass run on sentences.

Sixth, no yelling and keep the slang to a minimum. Typing in all caps indicates you are yelling. TyPiNg LiKe ThiZ is not cool or cute. Don't type in Ebonics either. You don't look cool, you look uneducated.

Seventh, when putting limitations for who can respond, leave the distance open. Just because someone does not live in a 100 mile radius of you doesn't mean they aren't worth getting to know.

Eighth, very few individuals can just post their picture without a summary and get responses. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it is a waste of time if you find out three emails later that the person is a drinker, smoker, raver, etc (i.e. something you are not looking for).

Lastly, duplicate and post your completed profile on several of the other free dating sites. Some are better than others and your response rate will vary. One response back from another site is one more you would not have received if you didn't put your profile up.

That about covers it from my perspective. Again, I am posting this based on what I have seen on other profiles, other free dating sites and on the responses I have received from my own profile. I don't claim that my profile is the “best” but it stands out for some people and they do respond to it.

Hopefully this helps some of you and please feel free to add to the list. I personally feel we should be helping each other here as we all basically have the same goal: to meet people. This could be in the form of friendship, online pals and/or long term partners. I stress that if someone starts interacting with you and only wants to be friends, do not discard them. Friends are still great to have and you never know if that person might know someone who is compatible with you.

I want to close with this comment: You are a total package. You are not solely your looks or personality or intelligence. Some will judge you on one or the other but it will take time for someone to get the big picture of who you really are. Just do your best to let that inner beauty really shine. Contrary to what you might think, there is someone out there for you. It won't happen overnight but if you take action, respond to those interested in you, use the mutual match function, send emails to those you are interested in and post on the forums, then you will increase your odds of finding someone.

Good luck to you all.

No warning needs..all I had to use was the scroll bar to see how long it was.

wow

*sings* too much time on my hands yeah! ta ta ta ta too much time on my hands!

Deleted comments...

Why would you take the time to write ALL that you wrote on here just to say this????????????????????? First you offer advice, and then you want to take it away???????????????? WTF??????????????????????????????????? Who cares what others think. We all have differences of opinions. This is just your helpful hints. Personally, I thought it was kind of long. But, I really think You think, you might be helping pppl. Well, good luck to you tooo.

Don't let negative comments control your actions. Another helpful hint.

Thanks, blizzee. Should use my own advice, huh?

Personally I think it could help those people who are constantly saying no one responds to their profile. Just my opinion.

<--- posting a sexy picture of this stud gets good results =)

lol only kidding

Bryguy,
Thank you I thought it was great info. Thanks for sharing!!

Thanks, heart4real. Hopefully it helps someone out. I know there are a lot of people on here having problems meeting others and don't how to improve their chances.

I was going to email you to tell you that I love the dogs, thats all.....

but you have set it to non-smokers as well.


waves goodbye and have a Merry Christmas dude...

There are some good tips in this post, worth reading, thanks.

Thanks, Noden. The dogs you see in my profile pics aren't mine but were all rescued and stay at the kennel I work at. The wolf-hybrid was left for dead out in the middle of nowhere chained to a tree. She is recovering quickly and is a beautiful girl.

Thank you so much for letting me know this as I too have animals that people didn't want or tried to hurt, when they were babies, 3 cats plus I go out of my way to protect all that I can...welcome to JSH, and hope you find what your looking for....

Do not have a photo of you with your friends as your main profile photo. People will not be able to tell which one is you.

Barguy, which character are you, in your photo

Im just here for the conversation. Im guilty of posting multiple people pics on my profile. But I think I have enough of just me that you can look at the rest and know who I am. And if you like it great, if you dont, whatever.

My post is for those new to this site and say they are having problems getting a response. I don't claim for it to be the "law" or set in stone. It is only my point of view based on the hundreds of profiles I have viewed. At least your photos show you in a different pose for each picture. I have seen one profile where there were sixteen pictures of the same basic pose and her head was turned slightly different in each one.

I think its some great advice, and I agree with alot of stupid things people say on their profile. Especially the profiles that say they are looking for a smart, successful, educated, well manered tall dark and athletic man.

Oh excuse me. But is anybody looking for a fat short bald stupid bum without a job, that would probably be more diffucult to find

I never really gave it that much thought, but you make some good points. Hopefully your advice will help the people that don't understand why they aren't making friends here!!