I prefer to meet someone in person rather than chatting online for weeks. The aspect of being able to see their face and body language tells me a lot more than a text response.

If that's working for you, great...

Myself, I have found that a bit of in-depth chat on line here generally reveals either they lied, or we actually have nothing in common, or they hold views I just can't support (and therefore are against mine)..

Saved me the trouble of showering, dressing, and driving to meet them, to find that out...

It's a shame that every woman says their phones don't work for making phone calls. They have no idea how to use phones anyway. There's something seriously wrong with lying about it. They are probably guys posing as women as a scam.

If the chat feels good and there seems to be a click I rather meet soon.
I've been there that I chatted a little longer due to him living further away and not being able to come over sooner. Then we met and it was horrible. Worst date ever even though while chatting it seemed so promising.
You best find out for real as chat can paint a picture that doesn't match reality. Some things you cannot get from chat.

A few post have been deleted. We ask that all keep it civil when responding or move one..



Forum Admin
Kristi

It does depend on the distance. If they are within an easy driving distance, 1 to 2 weeks. If it is a considerable distance, say more than 50 miles, it may be a month or more before I am in that area again. I generally prefer sooner than later!

I've had quite extensive discussions online and never met.
I have no issue with messaging (I'm using a home pc with a keyboard and mouse).

Those long discussions were not getting me any real-world results so I decided to change my game.
After a few short messages my current gf and I set up a meet.
The real-world interaction told me more about her than I could ever gleen from never-ending messaging.

Messaging (chats) are scripted. You have time to think about and prepare a response.
In person is often unscripted, natural and revealing.
It was the unscripted person she is that caused me to want to be in a relationship with her.
Our online messaging was ho-hum but in person we are electrifying.

If yer just looking for a penpal or chat buddy online interaction is fine but if you are wanting a real-life face to face relationship - stop chatting and go meet them.

Choose Wisely...

OT: I am mute so I don't talk on the phone... at least that is my story and I am sticking to it...

If they can't do better than repeated 2-3 words/ one line when they DO have "time to think about and prepare a response", I don;t think they will be any better in person..
At least not the times I have gone against my better judgement because some guy whined about not liking typing, or he "does better in person"...not been my experience.
On the phone..it was just a bunch of "uh huh...yeah....", no real contribution to the conversation...I kept having to ask things about him to keep it going (just like on line)....and, the few that pushed to meet right away, for the same reason don;t like to type, do better in person), same thing..just as dull and boring as on line..

If someone's experiences have been different, I am happy for you.
But if you can't hold up your end of the conversation online...I'm not going to shower, dress, and drive to somewhere on the odd chance that you *might* be better in person, because the several times I have done that it wasn't the case..

If they can't put forth some effort (NOT just "uh huh...yeah" and 2-3 word replies, asking nothing about me at all, making me keep the conversation going) , and be just as interested in learning about and getting to know *me* as I am *them*...sorry..nope..not gonna waste my time and moeny.

I prefer to chat online first to see if there are common interests. It is hard giving my phone number to just anyone.

Oh, I can certainly see your point and I have experienced the same after having a very long messaging history. They are wonderful conversationalists online but you meet in person and they go mute and distracted.
Or you talk on the phone and they yak yer head off talking about themselves and you meet and there's nothing to say and distracted from your contribution.
If I allowed my past experiences to jade all potential experiences I might as well have stopped looking.
I took a chance - this time it worked.
I took a chance because I realize even if 9 out of 10 are unworthy, that 10th one is worth it.
I took a chance because I realize everyone is different.
I took a chance because I wasn't ready to give up looking.
So I was inconvienced 9 times out of 10, I still removed 9 unworthy candidates from my search.
The 10 I chose to meet doesn't count the 200 or so I dismissed without meeting.
Choosing wisely involves many factors and since everyone is different our methods are different.

All I am saying is if the tool you're using isn't getting you the results yer seeking, use the tool another way or find a different tool that works for you.

I don't like to chat online at all, My only interest is local so half an hour over a coffee let's me see they are real and if we can meet again or say goodbye

I respect your different experience, however, as I am neither Jesus nor Buddha, and...after the first 265 (metaphorically speaking) that are like that...no reasonable person would think the 266th guy who acts exactly the same as the first 265 would be different..as we thought that about the 65th, 110th, and 265th one..

There's nothing wrong with requiring and wanting someone to show some interest and effort...
You message me, have a blank profile, and can't tell me one thing about *my* profile that you like, and feel we share in common...that you found interesting enough to message me?
Pass...

P.S..I was not looking for "advice", thank you..
I expected the same with my late husband initially, as well as the guy before him, and...it served me well and led to 2 wonderful long terms with intelligent and articulate guys.

As opposed to my ex in the 80's who lied about sharing any of my interests/ ideology (because he stated years later I was cute and the sex was good), and had absolutely no interest in any of the things *I* did, and was far from a good conversationalist.

P.P.S..If someone is so lazy they have ~ask me~ where I live..if they are too lazy to have read even *that* much....it's not my job to tell them that..
I say "It's on my profile...right above my picture"..
I ALWAYS check where someone lives BEFORE I message them..to see if it is too far away...I would assume any intelligent person would do the same..

People that are in a rush to meet scare me.

Email today reflects the use of smart phones and an inability to actually make understandable communications. I can't read your mind and understand when you make a one or two word statements.

I find that many, when they talk on the phone, just babble and can't actually say anything useful. A phone conversation over 10 - 15 minutes most of the time is just you listening to yourself talk. Often times it is the same when meeting in person. I want to learn about you and share my thoughts but often times it is like listening to someone in the bar telling stories, all BS and no substance. There is nothing wrong with spending time with someone yet not constantly talking; sometimes silence is golden!!

I meet them in exactly that second... I just appear, instantaneously. or I might wait 110 years. It depends on what I feel like at the time.

It's a shame that some guys here generalize and make assumptions about women. There's something seriously wrong with it. There are probably women posing as guys as a scam too.

Yeaah thats right