Topic: living relationship vs marriage
Mike's photo
Fri 11/11/22 11:06 AM
why people should get married then divorce rather stay together forever

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Fri 11/11/22 11:41 AM
TP
Means license and without license.. both driving should be legal..
Western Material

no photo
Mon 11/28/22 02:59 AM
why people should get married then divorce rather stay together forever

fully agree... open marriage is far better

JulieABush's photo
Mon 11/28/22 03:19 AM
The way I see it is that HollyWood and the media have screwed up both. If you can’t be loyal to any of the two then you shouldn’t be in them period.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 11/28/22 03:34 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Mon 11/28/22 03:37 AM
In a way it shouldn't make much of a difference aside from legal matters.
But then... most people come with a past and many haven't worked through that properly.
Many men say they don't want to get married again because they never healed from a past relationship and they don't ever want to get that involved again. This does mean they aren't fully committing anymore, too risky so they keep an exit door open. This will then affect your 'just stay loyal and together forever'.
Too many men get involved without truly committing but only because it is easier. Free sex, company so no more loneliness, someone who cooks & cleans, etc. All without him really committing to the woman who usually does fully commit and is unaware he's not fully in it.

So when it comes to getting married you could deduct both are equally involved otherwise they -esp the man- wouldn't take that step.

People with a healed and thus open heart have no issue with committing and making this official as they're not thinking about "if it doesn't work out again, bladibla..."
They love themselves, the other, and intent to stay together forever.

Being loyal, capable of a healthy relationship, staying together forever, means you got to be willing to take a risk. With a healed and open heart you don't focus on the risk but on love, sharing, committing, forever, etc. Then marriage is an option too.

Duttoneer's photo
Tue 11/29/22 03:18 AM

Certainly later in life you must consider your financial situation before you marry, and both agree up on keeping any personal assets, etc, with a legal prenup. I am not entirely convinced that just living together here in the UK means no legal commitments. For example, it's not so easy to evict someone from your home, so maybe a pre living together legal agreement is needed for the same reason. Relationships do fail, and it is far better to ensure a legal agreement is in place in that event, before marriage or moving in together.

Some couples that have decided to marry, live together before they marry, maybe that is a good idea to avoid discovering something you didn't already know.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 11/29/22 08:49 AM
If you Choose Wisely the marriage question works itself out.

The main problem is the fact many people Choose Poorly when choosing their partners.

While the fantasy is sweet, it usually wears off and reality sets in. Always try to look past the fantasy and see the reality of the person you are infatuated with.

Realize all people change as they live. Expecting someone to NOT change over time is a delusion.
Not seeing the changes is an illusion.

Realize while the other person is changing, so are you.

Use active, respectful communication to assist you both in accepting these changes.
Try to remember, if you loved them when you met them, they obviously were something special to you. If that love fades over time with you...its you that changed them into someone unworthy.

If you only thought you loved them when you met them and you see thru their deception eventually, you really only have yourself to blame for not choosing wisely in the first place. End the relationship before your passions cause you to do something you will regret.

Sometimes, people who were in love change so much they are no longer in love. End the relationship with respect. After-all you DID love them at one time.

Ask yourself if you Really see them or are you seeing who you want to see.

no photo
Tue 11/29/22 09:07 AM
Always try to look past the fantasy and see the reality of the person you are infatuated with.

I did, and therefore I've never been married.

Toodygirl5's photo
Fri 12/02/22 11:56 AM
Different reasons couples get divorced!

Two major reasons are infidelity and or Finances.

Duttoneer's photo
Sat 12/03/22 12:34 AM

Another reason is people change. An old friend said to me, his wife spent their complete married life changing him, and when they divorced she said to him he was not the man she married. laugh

Gia's photo
Sat 12/03/22 01:59 AM
It’s a personal choice. I was in a 32 year relationship, not married on paper, but after 4 kids and living with him for 30 years we’re husband/wife in every other way, but legally.

If he wouldn’t have died on me I’m sure I would have grew old with him. My sisters both have had 40+ years relationships, not legally married. Same all my cousins.


SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sat 12/03/22 02:16 AM

Different reasons couples get divorced!

Two major reasons are infidelity and or Finances.

I'm sure for some that will be the case, but in spite of knowing many divorced people I've never come across it.
It is almost always simply growing apart.

The outcome of a research done concerning reasons for breaking up / divorces was,
- NR1 lack of intimacy and/or love. 47% said lack of love.

- Communication problems, 44%. Women stating the man wasn't a 'talker' and this eventually led to breaking up

- Lack of respect & trust. Saying trust is beyond repair.

- Simply having grown apart and wanting different things in and out of life.


I recognise that for sure. Nrs 1, 2, 3, led to nr 4.
Broken trust doesn't mean 'infidelity' btw. Plenty of other ways that trust can be irreparably damaged.

Duttoneer's photo
Sun 12/04/22 07:36 AM

Topic: living relationship vs marriage


To marry here in the UK especially for the first time really is a main event in your life. When your family and friends attend the religious/legal ceremony to witness and see you both marry. To live together is something you can do without ceremony, it can be a big decision or it can be a more casual one. In my opinion, deciding to marry someone is a much bigger and a more stressful step to take than in deciding to live together.

We know from government statistics nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce in the UK, but we don't know how many living together relationships fail. My guess would be it's a lot more than 50% because of the more casual nature of many livein relationships.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 12/05/22 02:55 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Mon 12/05/22 02:57 AM
These days many go for registered partnership which legally is pretty much the same as marriage and offers the same advantages. You also get a similar ceremony at city hall as you get with marriage. There have to be witnesses too.

My daughter went for this, and it's an option many others choose too.

I think a legally binding relationship occurs more often again these days, either registered partnership or marriage.

There was a decline in marriages in the 70s-80s when it was seen as old-fashioned and not necessary to get married. A sense of rebelliousness concerning the old way.
I feel that rebel thing has gone, even though some don't find it necessary to get married. The option of registered partnership has closed that gap as many do go for that to have all legal aspects covered. For instance when buying a house.
It offers insurance that if one partner passes away the other isn't screwed over and has to sell the property. Things like that. It is also easier and cheaper to dissolve if things don't work out.
And at the same time it offers the ceremony at town hall, rings and so on.