Behind The Wall


Last night I heard the screaming
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won’t do no good to call
The police
Always come late
If they come at all

And when they arrive
They say they can’t interfere
With domestic affairs
Between a man and his wife
And as they walk out the door
The tears well up in her eyes

Last night I heard the screaming
Then a silence that chilled my soul
I prayed that I was dreaming
When I saw the ambulance in the road

And the policeman said
’I’m here to keep the peace
Will the crowd disperse
I think we all could use some sleep’

song and lyrics by tracy chapman

Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States

In recent years, an intimate partner killed approximately 33% of female murder victims and 4% of male murder victims.According to the U.S. Department of Justice, between 1998 and 2002:

Of the almost 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members, 49% of these were crimes against spouses.
84% of spouse abuse victims were females, and 86% of victims of dating partner abuse at were female.
Males were 83% of spouse murderers and 75% of dating partner murderers
50% of offenders in state prison for spousal abuse had killed their victims. Wives were more likely than husbands to be killed by their spouses: wives were about half of all spouses in the population in 2002, but 81% of all persons killed by their spouse.

stats provided by the american barr association

I know I joke around out here a lot but this is a serious issue that is happening right now and YOU can make a difference. if you see, hear or wittness crime, report it....
Stop the maddness Stop the violence....

By commenting on this post you are saying I will help to stop violent crime...

bless you
shoes

Ps please tell everyone about this .. I want this to be the thread that never dies ...

BTDT survived to live a fulfilled and happy life. Thanks for standing up and speaking about this issue that is all too often shoved under the rug.

im with ya shoes

I allways report crime!


Tracy Chapman really writes and sings some good music!

I'm here for ya dear

by the way any cell phones that you have that you don't use can be donated to the Battered womens shelter in your area, these are given to women who have issues in their home, and 911 is always accessable on them.....

Please do this.... it could save a life.

also, according to the American Psychological Association almost 1 in 3 adult women have been victims of domestic violence

25% of the female population WILL be abused sometime during their lifetime

and up to 35% of women visiting e.r's are abuse victims.

thank you so much for the stats .. I really want to educate people on this and thought I could use this forum ..

sure. it's a bigger problem than many people realize. you're doing a good thing letting people know.

Shoes--

I have the unfortunate position of interviewing the abusers many times. People who have been arrested for domestic violence so many times that it becomes a felony. Yes, it is not automatically a felony in my state.

I seethe when I hear them say, "She got on my case. She made me hit her, she knows what sets me off. I was high, she loves me". And the saddest, most poignant of all... "She is getting the money to bail me out".

I used to work in a battered women's shelter. I saw the damage it caused in the women, in the children, and the worst, the women's inability to parent her children because she was herself so broken.

There was an Amish women there with her five children when I first started. She would come into the staff office and tell on her kids. She was not allowed, as the woman, to dole out discipline. She had to start over, in every way. She had to assimilate, parent, learn how to be both mother and father, get her GED, work, everything. But she did it, after over a year of work.

I believe all of us who can, in any way, at any time, provide a resource to these workers who give their experise and guidance, or to these women themselves... are to be honored. I donate all my work clothes to this shelter in the hopes they might fit for an interview or new job, and drive an hour to do it. They accept toys, furniture, diapers, and more.

Call your local hotline to ask about yours.

I donate all my clothes and even have a hair dresser friend and we give woman a spa day on us .. this is to pamper and love those that are facing really extreme circumstances in getting back to at the very least feeling human.. I know that people don't take me that serious and I joke a lot out here but this is the perfect place to educate people.. that sad thing has you can see people would rather say if the person in the pic above is hot .. then take the time to save a life ....

Well, the person in the pic above me is very hot... inside and out.

I think what is important to keep in mind is that there are a lot of "lurkers" who might be reading this, and just don't post because they have nothing to add, but are getting the message. If you're out there... let us know. Insert a smiley face or whatever!

true I had not thought that even if they read it then maybe it will stimulate some thought I should of titled it BOOBS AND BEER AND HOT GUYS LOL

it's something you hear a lot about growing up, but it never hits home until age 18 or so, and then you start experiencing it yourself as you have friends who wind up in abusive relationships. It's amazing that in the world today there are so many "supposedly" civil people, mostly men, who still think that frustration should be taken out on another person by disparaging them or physically abusing them. Personally, I'm proud to have helped multiple friends out of abusive relationships.

Well... we can hope that those who are joking around will take the time to check out other areas.

But... "True Dat, Shortie", in:re the proffered name option

Sox ,
Thank you for always always doing the right thing.. I really respect you ... and I even used punctuation.

I appreciate your respect. Trust me, it's mutual. As for the grammar, I think when the post concerns an important topic that you're trying to bring to light, I can definitely let the punctuation slide.

But back to the topic, does anyone have an idea of why women stay in such bad and abusive relationships? It's mind boggling to think how it's possible to rationalize such a situation. I'm not saying that it's easy to say anything about it, since obviously it's an embarrassing thing to admit, but I can't imagine being in a situation like that and letting things continue.

PS- Not antagonism, just an honest question.

I heard a quote once that hit me so hard I never forgot it...


Anger is a weak person's imitation of strength.

The weak person in abusive relationships is not the person who is abused. It is the person who feels they have the right to show anger, or fear, physically or otherwise abusively.

Absolutely. Too weak to handle setbacks, too weak to see things in a rational matter, too weak to understand compassion, too weak to respect anyone besides themselves, and too weak to accept that people make mistakes, and sometimes that person is them and it's simply their fault.

Sox I think I can take this one

It starts off slowly , the drama , the yelling , it is sneaky , the insane jealousy, the accusations,the unpredictability mixed with a calmness , undying love , he has finally changed, then the blow up , each one of these cycles taking a little piece of your very soul, the manipulations, the lies - not just to yourself, to your friends and family, it is just not that bad ,
the denile .. I am not a battered woman , it is just not that bad other people have it worse, oh you try to leave but he has threatened to kill you or himself or the kids, you are isolated away from the very suport system that could help you ,, they are all against him ,, the public looks at you and looks away when you walk thru the store with a black eye , they really don't want to know-- then there was the time that you really did get hurt and sought treatment and the nurse ask you what did he hit you with a stupid stick? the flowers come and the gifts and the I am sorry I will change,, you look in the mirror and don't even know that girl anymore her eyes are that of a shell shocked victim but the war wages in her own home, her innocence is gone , she is just trying to survive, he has control over all the money , and by this time you don't even know who you are and are terrified to make decisions because any decision you have tried to make just means another beating.. are you with me here Sox?