Longing




I long to be there for you..
I cant take the days we are so far away....
I missed being able to hold you...
I suffer for my own needs to give you life
I bleed ...constantly in pain, my soul weeps ...
How could I have let go so soon,so young....so smoothly in ease,
taken by the fears I live?
Nothing equals to having you,
to be near you ...
I bleed..
My eyes see satan standing
in my darkness of aggression..
forbidden. I feel away
from God, I stay..
content in the darkness ..
judge me not
or you will eat the very fruit I can not eat....
Souls desire nothing sane along the road of shame.....
to breathe?
I can not bear the blessing,
for I weep with despair...
I live for no one but myself ....
inflicting stains of mistaken good health.
The fear to follow..
to stay awake ...
my only retirement is falling in guilt...
Take me away
I pray everyday ..
no use for my deprived life is shameful ..
unpure ..
obediance be still...
Kings gain the soldiers ...
Servants gain spirits in the light
I am not taken, but forsaken in truth...
my son only begins as I long to end ....

Quitecontrary 8/30/2009
this is written by my child, a tormented woman, mother, in deepest despair.

That is deep

Thank you, I will share responses. I wonder what will draw her up out of...

This breaks my heart ... and I wonder why it is that she cannot see her own greatness beyond the things she has or has not done in her past ...

Why she feels the need to live small and to punish herself over and over again.

Why who she is ... isn't enough - for 'her'...

These feelings seem to be epidemic in our western society ... I see it often in the people I treat

Thank you for sharing this (((((Sharris))))) ... she speaks for many! ... I hope she finds her way gently on her path in love and light

So very deep...I can only hope a ray of light will shine on her and draw out the beauty and greatness of her soul, that is hidden within...

I send My Love
Reminding your ((Angel))) she is so worthy
Beautiful and most of all empowering...
Let the light shine its grace upon you
Let the child of long ago,,,escape what holds
Praise the voice of laughter
Love & Light
From my heart to yours
Love & blessings

thank you, I share the responses to her thoughts. She does appreciate. It is a journey..I love you. I am moving back to OK to be with all my grands and Kitty's greats as well. I wish I could go through CA to see you..actually I would welcome a cuppa with anyone on the way..

My deepest regret was not making plans to see you when Daniel and I were in Washington,,,

I send you strength my lovely
Tell your Angel,,
that when the Willow whispers ever so softly accross her cheeks
Its me holding her,,,

Be safe, be well,, Be

I love you

No regrets, please, just love, just love