(The "choose why you are here" drop-down only lets you list one thing. I just put "friendship" down because I honestly don't know what I'm going to want right off the bat, it's going to depend a lot on who I am with. Duh.) --- If you're really whacked and have a thing for subculturish, wiggy drugster-type girls...Hahaha...well maybe I might make you curious... That is, if my tendency to be a bit on the acerbic side doesn't scare you away before you get the chance. The 21st century isn't really the era for people like me, and perhaps that has made me a tad bit bitter at times. But that's mostly just the surface. The stuff that tastes good is underneath all that. --- "Don't just call me pessimist... Try and read between the lines." - Tool --- I live in San Francisco: the City of Fruits, Nuts and Flakes. --- I will be totally honest. Do I lead a so-called "Healthy Lifestyle"? With the exception of "Diet", which is 98% Vegetarian Non-Greasy Organic (with the other 5% being "Sushi, when I can actually afford it"...) my Lifestyle's pretty damn unhealthy by most people's standards of measuring such things. But it would be a LOT more unhealthy if I allowed myself to feel huge amounts of guilt about it, so my default atude is "Fark You, It's My Life. No one's forcing you to follow suit". I spend most of my time sitting around in front of a computer screen in my comfortable desk chair. It may be possible to crowbar me out of it...but to do that, ya gotta be persuasive about it. Telling me "You ought to be more physical" rates pretty low on the persuasiveness scale. That said...Maybe it's about time someone tried to get me out of my sedentary cocoon, just to make sure it's still possible. The other "unhealthy lifestyle" factor about me is that I like to take drugs, and I have honestly never been able to work up a bit of shame about it. This particular aspect of my life is one I hold personally dear, despite the fact that at times, it has run to what even I recognise as "excess", and has in that context not particularly helped me to be the person I feel I'd like to be. However, excess is something that's become completely unaffordable, nowadays. So, against my will I find that since 2009 or so, I've been living an almost completely straight life. --- Drugs fascinate me. They have fascinated me for virtually my whole life...including that part of it that happened before I ever actually even tried doing any. Still, even my fascination has its limits: - I'm not fond of coke or crack at all - I never had the ability to tolerate even relatively small amounts of alcohol. - For 2 years [1990-1992] I rode the Heroin Hell Train, but that was cured by methadone and I have avoided all other opiates since then. - I've never tried PCP or Ketamine, nor will I ever even think about it Just about everything else...I've either done it and enjoyed it, or still would do it, were it available to me, and affordable. Mostly, these days,though, I don't do anything but 420. --- I'm not here to find a mate. I'm still busted up over the mate I lost to someone else 3 years ago and don't think I ought to lay that sort of baggage on someone new until I've managed to "work through it" or what-EVER. Besides, I don't believe that "dating sites" provide the right environment to nurture this sort of connection, because when you paste your stats and "shopping list" up to the public, and begin to interact with someone based on these things, the inevitable problem with expectations, and what gets done in order to give the impression that you can fulfill them for someone you take a shine to, seems pretty much inevitable. I believe that whether it's "a lay" or "real love" that someone wants, the only way it's going to happen and not be strangled by insincerity and phoniness, is when it happens literally by accident. THAT SAID: since this IS a "dating site", I've only got one thing to say about my uhm...physical preferences, and this is something that embarres me quite a bit... I have always found that a physical-level sex attraction will usually only manage to happen if the guy in question has hair at least long enough to reach his shoulders...and ALSO isn't loaded with huge amounts of facial hair. This is a limitation that really sucks for me, because it's pretty difficult to find males who are in my general age bracket who still have that look. Baldness is like weight gain - it just happens to some people when their midlife begins, and there's naught that can be done about it, really. And for those men who still have their hair, they grow out of the long-hair look about 95% of the time once they turn 30. My "preference" is pretty much tantamount to the common preference that guys have for women who look like they're about 17 years old. It's about as realistic as that... I HATE that I'm wired to be this bloody shallow myself. Especially when the rest of me is so "mentally" oriented. I'd really like to be free of this programming, which was inculcated in me from my teen years onwards, via the medium of music videos, underground comix and album covers. But have you ever tried to change your physical "tastes" or fetishes or what-not? Try it sometime...and if you're successful, PLEASE do come tell me what in Hell you did to make this happen, so I can try it. --- What follows is a maudlin ditty: I was pretty high when I tapped this out, alas... --- REMNANT I wander in despondence. Numb and stumbling, dumb undead. My heart is null, it lies in dust, like all else past. Resigned, consigned to rust. I must...Find a new head. I ponder and I wonder: does a single soul yet thrive that hails from my long-lost psychedelic tribe? And if we found each other, around some common ground: might we lay down foundations...To build cities and nations, made of just hallucinations? Within which many denizens could dwell like gods on earth...Within safe havens of delusions curled...gazing out the windowpane, at what's left of the world. ---- I should, perhaps, figure out more ways to become a happier person, in the absence of that which has made me happy for the larger portion of my life. I've only recently - VERY recently - come to realise this, though. Try to be patient with me...and I'll return the favour.