Men and why they don't think like women........."In Your Face"





ladies the truth and why you shouldn't want to change them.


These are few things from just my observation....so of course

audience participation is required if you don't think true

or

whatever.




We lie.

But it's not as bad as it sounds. Generally, we do it to make you feel good or avoid trouble. Were you really looking for the truth when you asked: "Does this make my butt look big?" We think your butt looks great. Everything you try on looks "great." Let's leave it at that.


We're insecure --

just like you. This seems obvious, but since men tend not to open up about their feelings, it may be hard to actually recognize. We want to feel wanted and needed. Throw us an occasional compliment, ask us to help you do something manly or laugh at our dumb jokes. Pointing out our imperfections is painful for us, too, so take it easy when addressing our growing beer belly, receding hairline or bedroom prowess.


Your body is sexy.

Fitness is sexy. You don't have to be built like a ballerina to turn us on, but the fact that you take care of yourself is important. Plus, we love seeing you in your sexy little workout clothes and we're hoping that when you get home from the gym you'll suggest we "hit the showers" together.


The eyes have it.

We think you're sexy, remember? Sometimes our eyes wander, but that doesn't mean we're planning on straying. It's unnatural for a man to ignore a beautiful woman -- it's science. So, if you catch your man ogling another beauty, don't point out all her imperfections and call her a "skank." Jealousy is not pretty.


Acceptable actions for you to take:

Punch him in the arm, make a smartass comment about her outfit, say "You wish," start ogling a handsome man in the area, suggest a threesome (then add "you wish") or anything else that's shows you're confident and can laugh off a faux pas as trivial as our naturally wandering eyes.


We're always ready for sex --

always. That's pretty much it on that one. So, feel free to initiate whenever you're feeling randy. And remember ladies this is the way they show they care....so don't think it's makes them a hopeless pig. It's primortal in them to find conquer and have sex.



Subtle is lost on us.

This is one that always seems to baffle women I know. "I flipped my hair, smiled and touched my neck, how could he not know I'm interested?" Because he doesn't get subtle clues, as a matter of fact, subtle is all but lost on the male species. So if you want to know if he likes you.....Get in his face and say DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!Blunt and honest is the key.

I'm not sure why this is,

but if you want something, you may just have to ask directly. Is it as fun as dropping hints about what you want for your anniversary and being surprised when you don't get it? Maybe not, but it will eliminate a great deal of miscommunication. SAME RULE APPLIES AS ABOVE....WANT IT ASK DAMMIT.

Cookies, cakes and the kitchen.

When you cook for us, it's the sexiest thing ever. We love food and we love women, so a woman who can feed us pretty much covers all the bases. Watching you cook is better foreplay than pretty much anything, unless you're cooking wearing only an apron, then it is the best foreplay -- ever.


You don't really want to know what we're thinking.

Men's minds, like their eyes, tend to wander. You ask, "What are you thinking?" And you get a blank stare. It's not because we're not thinking anything, but because we know you don't care about the finger points of a 3-4 defense, who would win in a fight between a ninja and a pirate (ninja, in case you're wondering), or how many hot dogs we think we could eat in 20 minutes. So, when we reply, "How beautiful you are…" Just accept it.

Directions?

We don't need no stinkin' directions! We don't ask for directions because we like to solve problems, it makes us feel accomplished. Half the fun of going somewhere is the trip, so getting lost and finding our way back is a big part of the fun of going to your coworker's birthday party. We're explorers by nature; let us have our great expedition -- even if it makes us late. You can blame us for being late -- we don't mind.

Stop asking,

"Where is this going?" We don't know. We know where we hope this will go, but we're not going to stop and ask for directions. You have a right to ask this at some point as the relationship develops, but we're trying to enjoy the trip, not rush to the destination. Asking will just make us feel pressured, so just skip this question all together and enjoy the ride.

We really just want to make you happy,

that's all. More often than not, we'll do the right thing, but take it easy on us when we act like the cavemen we are, at least we're trying.

Yeah, distance does become a problem!

But, love has no distance or boundaries, right?

Those pants will go great with these!...