Never bored with my 2 friends (Rum and Coke)

the heat in Tennessee

wow that corona hit the spot * feeling tipsy now * I think I will go lay down for a while

want to borrow a piece of thread from my clothing

having trouble r u dirty dan

A man in a bar has a couple of beers and the bartender tells him he owes $6.50.

"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

"Okay," says the bartender, "if you said you paid, you did."

The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid.

The second man then ruses in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeeper replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."

Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.

The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs when suddenly,

the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right on the face."

"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

thanks* still waiting to see your obscene

I'll take a corona please while u r back there

thank u * Maybe if I set down the dress will seem even shorter

Play the Office Game
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows:

ONE POINT

Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew.

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it." - Double points if you do this to a manager.

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINTS

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

In a colleague's diary, write in 10 am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your laptop over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now"

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it"

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.

Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, "not now" and walk away.

Your dancing seems to be much better * I think I need to set down this dress I have on feels like it getting shorter the more I move

mmmmmmmmmm * thank u my dear * glad u like

mmmmmmmmmm * thank u my dear * glad u like

well could u tell me if u like it

I just wanted to know how it looked

Ken r u looking at my clevege

ok place one hand on my waist * and one on my shoulder

ok * this sounds nice

I'm a pretty good dancer * I'll teach u

Loosen up * want to dance