100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
|
Topic:
Only after 1 thing ?
|
|
I don't know but I did have to change my profile to try to cut down on the obscene requests.  I could change your socio-political views SO HARD Ruth...  Grrrrrrrr! well there's always the exception to the rule.   
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
long distance love affair
|
|
LDR's are going to move more slowly than other relationships because it's going to take longer to get to know the real person. Don't rush it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
long distance love affair
|
|
Someone can cheat on you just as easily if they are living with you or are far away. You just have to be able to trust that the person you are with is as committed as you are. There are always red flags if they aren't. Most people choose to either ignore the red flags or look for red flags at every turn. Either way, that's about your emotional issues, not theirs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Only after 1 thing ?
|
|
I don't know but I did have to change my profile to try to cut down on the obscene requests.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Soul mates
|
|
100% with Igor on this.... ;~) It is the most destructive concept. And that is all it is... Is a concept.  I do believe that two people can experience a deeply profound connection and if they're lucky that connection will turn into a lasting relationship. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Wow Jimmy ... When I first commented in this thread, I hadnt yet read the full backstory. My first response was specifically related to white lies in general, and the assessment lens or guage one uses when viewing such a lie.But now that I know the full story, I don't think a white lie would require a years worth of complementary lies to sustain an alternate identity . While I believe your friend isnt a bad guy, dont you think it takes a kind of pathological mindset to enable someone to fabricate the amount of lies and theatrics it takes to sustain an alternate identity for a YEAR? ?? Lies ranging from his daily whereabouts, to the activities he had that day to the people he interacted with daily at work etc. ( because women tend to ask their mates a lot of little questions about their day. ) And then he planned to propose to her and extend a permanent invitation to stage crafted life??? And now he is on suicide watch? Take the relationship out of the equation Jimmy. The actions you described make your friend sound mentally unbalanced. If I were his gf , and I could somehow get past the shock, hurt and fear of his mental state, I would only give him a second chance on the condition that we both enlisted the help of a counsellor for a year , and even then I would still lack some confidence in his mental stability. And I would also be hurt that he doubted the integity of my love for an entire year after giving my love purely, authentically and unconditionally for that long. I get that he is your friend and that he is probably a good guy but as a friend , it woild be great if you could tactfully suggest that he talk to a counsellor to help him navigate this difficult patch in his life. No peggy, he is very stable mentally and a good person too. He just came out of a relationship with a gold digger so only he had that approach with her. If you try to see from his view, you can see how much effort he would have put to keep her with him, it may sound cunning or lying but he loves her like crazy and the suicide threat is because of that only. I hope you can understand the situation. He was going to tell her the truth when he proposed her but she came to know the truth from somewhere else. Not sure why he didn't tell her before but what is done is done now, it is time to help him. No, it's time to let him suffer the consequences of his actions so he can learn from them. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lying out of a fear of losing someone is a form of manipulation. It's selfish and shows a lack of character. I know but it happens based on situation like we sometimes lie to our parents too in certain situation but that doesn't mean we are selfish or lack character right? You are comparing apples to oranges. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lying out of a fear of losing someone is a form of manipulation. It's selfish and shows a lack of character.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Cleaning the kitchen floor. I know....so sexy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Four day weekend!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I get that he is your friend and that he is probably a good guy but as a friend , it woild be great if you could tactfully suggest that he talk to a counsellor to help him navigate this difficult patch in his life. Ditto. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Karma is a b*tch. I hope she comes for you soon.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tomorrow starts my 4 day weekend and man do I need it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Conversation, laughs, friends. If I find more, great. If not, that's okay too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Married man
|
|
What do U women think of a married man looking for an affaire ? Bad marriage;-( I think this is how the scene gets set up.. for all the pain that will follow. It is. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Ruth34611
on
Wed 07/27/16 05:22 PM
|
|
One thing that catches my attention, now that we have the actual story, is that it took this guy a FULL YEAR OF DATING to trust that the woman wasn't a gold digger. I can understand going a few dates with someone without letting on that you are well off and worried. But I know that if a woman were to lead me on for a YEAR, pretending to be on my own low wealth level, and then spring it on me that she was really rich (or in a rich family), and that she'd been faking who she really was THE WHOLE TIME, I would hit the streets for sure, and not look back. I've had my experiences with people who think that it's their prerogative to shape MY thinking about them, and all those experiences have been negative. Especially the ones where I stayed around and tried to keep going. For sure discourage suicide, but I would suspect that claiming to be that upset about it just shows your friend needs a lot of therapy, just to figure out where his own head is really at, before he EVER tries to find a mate through stealth. His problem is NOT, as he thinks, that the world is full of gold-digging women, his problem is that he sees the world as a place where he has to play games and manipulate people in order to get what he wants. THAT is what is driving the woman away from him. Another very well put post. I completely agree. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Soul mates
|
|
I'll take this one step further. I have come to realize that the concept of there being a "One For You," or a "Soul Mate," has been possibly THE most destructive concept ever to plague the world of dedicated relationships. More people cite belief in "The One" as why they decided to cheat, to divorce, or to give up on someone who they had previously vowed forever love to, than any other single concept. People who have been with someone for years, go on a trip alone, and because they don't realize that the trip itself changes how they feel, they up and decide that the cute wink they just got from someone in another town, was the REAL God-Given mate they were "supposed to find." People who are doing well with a new dating partner, fall in to doubt, because they figure that "the One" is supposed to make them swoon or lose complete control of their texting thumbs (if it's your bowels, it's the flu, by the way), so they hit the dump button after X number of dates no matter how much compatibility there is. This is very much how I see it too. Very well put! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Soul mates
|
|
I guess I don't look at my past relationships as failures. Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean you weren't meant to be with that person for the time you were with them. I may not be with children's father, but I am forever grateful to him for the beautiful children he gave me. Only the two of us could make the children we did. I have loved and been loved and will most likely love again. But I think by saying there is only person meant for us we invalidate all the other people who were meaningful in our lives. What about the widow or widower who find love again? I agree.. through life we can 'fall in love' many times... feel a connection with another 'soul-mate'.. there's more than 1 person out there for 1 person... if you feel that it happens to you, once or many times, that is awesome. I mean, what is/was a lifetime anyway.. its only in the last 50 years or so that we're surviving into our 70's/80's and older.. those old pioneers died in their 40's.. sometimes 20 years can be a lifetime. Really good point.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ah I see. This wasn't a little white lie he told in the beginning. He lied to her for a year. I wouldn't get back together with him either. I understand that but still if we have to give him a chance what would be best way you feel He lied to her for a year even though he was sure enough about her to get ready to propose. He didn't trust her and now she can't trust him. Trust is nearly impossible to regain. Sorry but I think they should part ways hopefully having learned a very important lesson. Well sorry to hear that. I know he made a mistake but I feel his heart is in the right place so I support him. Who knows, maybe they can work it out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Soul mates
|
|
I guess I don't look at my past relationships as failures. Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean you weren't meant to be with that person for the time you were with them. I may not be with children's father, but I am forever grateful to him for the beautiful children he gave me. Only the two of us could make the children we did. I have loved and been loved and will most likely love again. But I think by saying there is only person meant for us we invalidate all the other people who were meaningful in our lives. What about the widow or widower who find love again?
|
|
|
|
|
Previous
