The following warning labels will be placed immediately on all varieties
of alcohol containers.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering...What the
hell happened to my bra and panties?

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol my make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consomption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morinig.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnanvy.

WARNING: Alcahol may mack you tink you can tipe real gode.