Ok, I think I once pulled this off of another site or somewhere I don't remember.

Subject: World History- A MUST READ Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 1. Liberals; and 2. Conservatives. Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, Police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

BS

Damn. I must be an oddball. I'm a liberal Democrat that kills some of his own food and then cooks it, drinks BEER from MILWAUKEE by the gallon, hates wine, and foo foo food, hates french anything but fries and toast, can kick the asses of 98% of the republican party, owns a gun, hates cats, was in the army for 9 years, was a cop in the biggest jail in the free world for another 9 years, and likes country music.


BOWLSHEET !

hey now! I didn't say that I agreed with it

Well, do not worry, I put my six shooter and vast array of shotguns away.

I think it is very funny!

Lindyy


Come on people, have a sense of humor!

Lindyy, of course you do, you're a Republican. Had it have bashed Reps, with a biased towards Dems, you'd be up in arms about it.

Who wants to see me put my elbow in my ear?

Just touch both elbows behind your back, and I'll be smilin

I do!

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Lindyy


P.S.
"A Conservative will simply laugh and be so CONVINCED of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off."

Can no one see the sarcasim in this? And, I, a Republican can laugh at it........ People, it is mocking Republicans and Conservatives..........good grief...............!!!!!

Oh, and if you know me, then you know how much I and other conservatives and Republicans get bashed every day in this "Politics, Current News & Events" forum.

Damn.....

Lindyy, What page are you reading? Certainly not this one. This is Dem bashing, plain and simple. It caters to Conservative Reps. Show me one sentence where it mocks them.

I don't go to the political section, because I will not shut up when poked with a stick. Ergo, I have not seen the mocking that goes on there.

But when something like this, which I know is funny to some, is posted in General(where it was started), it becomes fodder for this Tri-Lingual, gun owning, Combat Veteran, Liberal, Intelligent Democrat to respond to in this manner.

What you cut out.. P.S.
"A Conservative will simply laugh and be so CONVINCED of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off." ....

Is a statement saying that Conservatives will agree with this article, and that they will pass it on to us "dumb dems" just to piss us off.

That is what I see when I read between the lines. I'm not bashing you, or the Republican party. I have no qualms with anyone. But please see it for what it is, okay?

(((Lindyy)))

OH, my, get this dear man a map! Elwoodsully, you ARE in the Political forum! Right now you are in "Politics, Current News & Events".

"A Conservative will simply laugh and be so CONVINCED of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off." ....

Well, I read it as mocking conservatives and Republicans and I am not upset!

Lindyy

How can any REPUBLICAN get upset when reading something that bashes Dems? And, how can YOU not see that this is what the article is all about?

This article was posted by tanyaan in GENERAL, but got moved to Political. It has stayed in MY last 25, so it will be found wherever it may go, until it is #26.

O O O O I do I do!

Can I see both of you do it ?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That one caught me off guard

maybe