before i’d said it or written it
i’d thought a lot about it
and i’d made the decision
before i’d said it or written it

it was a tough decision to make
but i didn’t see many choices before me
if i didn’t do it then
it’d have died a long drawn-out, agonizing death

i’d much preferred a quick death
not painless – when has Death been painless
for Its survivors? – but quick, at least,
and i’d chosen it

it wasn’t an easy decision to make
it was daunting and soul-numbing
but it had to be done
to avoid a death much, much worse

so i took them out for one last time
and packed them all up carefully
in the hopes that they would not
disintegrate into a fine dust of unbeing

and then i said goodbye
and laid them all to rest
locked away as deeply as possible
it was goodbye; it was for ever

i’d said it and written it
i’d finally stopped thinking about it
i’d done away with them
i’d said goodbye; it was for ever

bring them all to me
my sword is sharp and light
for handling
hilt a glove
tight on me
for comfortable driving
samurai surgery
i'll make it quick and clean